A Planetary Realignment

We turned the mattress over, the world was leaning to one side, and heads were rolling. Bodies tipped over in the night, whole families were found to be slanted from the slippage. They say (meaning nobody we knew), that the sharp cheddar and the gruyere had saturated the dreams of our sleeping flesh. We upended the matrass, slept well for a night or two, then the pale-faced fridge began to groan unintelligibly, it was joined by the AC unit, who caterwauled, and rattled its teeth non-stop. Slowly the planet began to readjust, to realign. The doomsayers were not pleased, they had expected so much more than bad breath and diarrhea.