A Night On the Town -Victorian Slang

I went out for a nanty narking time Wearing my best gas pipes and tie Hanging with whooperups at the pub Lally-gagging with girls going by I met the jammiest bit of jam, I did She was bang up to the elephant, truly 'Be my boop,' I said, enchanted 'Saddle goose! ' she said, and refused me I'm completely off chump, to be honest Don't give me bags of mystery for tea I'm tired and got the morbs now So would you b*tch the pot for me She left me so distraught (keep this dry) That I got as tight as a boiled owl, my friend Now I'm a dying duck in a thunderstorm I'm a complete wooden spoon, again Loose Translation: I went out to have a good time In my best tight pants and tie Hanging out with terrible singers at the pub Flirting with girls going by I met the most beautiful girl, I did She was perfect, truly 'Be my sweetheart' I said enchanted 'Idiot' she replied and refused me I'm completely off my food, to be honest Don't give me sausages for tea I'm tired and feeling depressed now So would you pour some tea for me She left me so distraught (Keep this a secret) That I went and got totally drunk, my friend Now I'm feeling sad and rejected I'm a complete idiot - again!