A Mother I'Ll Never Know
This was written by my girl friend, my love.
I feel, even now, her last breath exhaled
as I inhaled my first, people pressing
running, attaching things to displace
the inevitable.
Her body strained through the delivery
as I was wiped, whisked away shivering, crying
it took some years to learn
the realities
My mother would never smile at me,
see my first, most faltering steps, encourage first words
feed what might best
nourish me
I thank her, don't blame her, though once I did,
cursing her and the empty nights, in her absence.
Things I felt then, I now know were tests, exercises
in futility.
My father, bless him, tried to hold life together
some structure, but was unable, and agreed
to give me to my now family, stable, growing,
still flowing
learning it isn't always therapy retracing the past
denying. Her life was given, so that I
might have mine, how does one refine
such thoughts?
Even now surrounded by love,
knowing I am a part of something
there are still the haunting
thoughts.
Copyright © Dallas Connery | Year Posted 2013
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