Gary Baldwin Poet Free verse

A Monk With No God

There he lie, one month shy 
of sixty-one short trips around the sun
The rest of this story has no
rhyme nor moral, just reality
raw  and final

Three operations in two weeks
at the VA sausage meat machine
One leg and four feet of intestine 
left to his name
Clear silicone tubes all over his face
tethered to beeping blinking boxes

Since nineteen he tipped his elbow to
a god who promised him this moment
Faithfully delivered, sooner then hoped
Everybody blamed the liquor but it 
was he who put it up to his lips
As a true testament to
the god of his choosing

My choice of gods told me many times 
what I was supposed to say to this man
but I never said it until this night. 
Four years of bible college and serving 
as a leader reinforced my orders
and demonstrated my devotion

Pushing hard against my INFJ wiring
I leaned down to finally say it 
directly into his comatose ear
If you can hear me dad, you need to be saved
It’s easy as ABC … Admit, Believe, Confess
But I stopped short and took a look at myself
It felt like I was trying to sell a used car 
to a dying man with one leg

I found no tears for him in that moment
only a shallow sense of relief that 
I did my contractual duty to the
zealous and well-meant script
called Evangelical Christianity
A true testament to a god 
I once believed existed

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