A Loathing Sickness
Consumed by self loathing
of who I am and
what's under my clothing
horrible and disgusting
the
bait
is
hate
it pulls me in and
eats me from within
sweetest personality
sick in the head
is my reality
the pain is what I need
the knife I use to feed
bitter sweetness releases me
from the blade that appeases me
ripping my hair out
pulling at my skin
my old scars heal
and become so thin
so I re-open them
forcing the knife in
sometimes I crave death
to take my last breath
to end the misery
that comes from being
me
wishing the devil
would set me alight
to feel the burn
so I can shine bright
on my bed I lie
thinking of ways
that I could die
the notion torments
my being
because I won't be
freeing
my soul anytime soon
I'll torture myself
again and again
to prevent my family
feeling a grieving pain
I know my sickness
will be over soon
but until then
in
my
head
the demon will swoon...
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