A Little Black Coal

A little black coal sitting upon God’s office desk
basking under the Light of God
writing down my thoughts and dreams
wishing to be more than what I am

God’s ink is black as obsidian
His pen of an arch angel’s feather
and as God goes about his work
I pray to God and talk about my stories with Him
of all of the adventures and desires that I wish to take on

God would listen, through His Spirit He would speak
but I wanted more of everything

I didn’t know as a coal what it meant to be a diamond
how my fantasy transformed into reality would be
the pressures involved in the metamorphosis 
the lost and the change and transposition 
didn’t really grasp what it took to be a diamond
yet I wanted to be more than what I was/am
to know who I will become and be

God picked me up and tossed me back into the world
from his Sherlock Holmes like office to reality
where with each pressure, my soul became more diamond than coal
with each suffering, I shined more like a galaxy
but I also felt impatient and wanted to be at the end already
even though all of what I asked has yet to be

Things were simple upon God’s Desk
where I basked and dreamed in perfect harmony
dreaming dreams that didn’t suffer from reality
that didn’t clash with everything

Everything has changed and I worry about cracks that could appear
from all of the pressure and stresses and worries
needing to deny myself to become this new version I asked for

The emotions like fire devouring inside
anger and frustration and madness
where I’m conflicted and afflicted and wonder
What is God up too…

Evil thoughts would spring into mind
like dandelion seeds from demons somehow finding me
trying to claw their way inside

Twisted thoughts that God has left me
God has forsake me
that nothing that I know is true
trying to turn everything against me
playing with my emotions
taking advantage of my weaknesses
exploiting truths into lies
placed inside a maze of insanity

How much more will I be able to go on and have self control
throughout this new world
that tries to pit me against The One that I Love: God 

I close my eyes
where my faith blooms and grows
in this secret garden of my soul
where I can always trust that water will flow

Breathing in and trusting
God will get me through and hasn’t forsaken me...
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016


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