A Letter To Kenzi - Part 4of4
I understand your fear, your need to run away,
I feel your tears, I cry them too,
and wish I could disappear, forever.
My cousin, slept with and dated the man
who raped and mollested me when I was 13.
She still talks to him
as if they are friends and I am a liar.
One of my friends, who is suppose
to be one of the closest people to me,
Acts like best friends with the man who abused me.
The man who made me worthless,
broke me down and degraded me.
And to this day I still flinch
if someone moves toward me and I am off guard.
It makes me sick every time he posts
a picture of him, but he wont stop.
They tell me to forgive and forget
- that it will help me heal,
I think they are ****in' whacked out of their minds.
How can they tell me to forgive -
lets talk about it after they walk in my shoes.
I will never ever forgive
what those men did to me, I don't have to.
I battle with the will
of not going to the hospital again,
To be honest, I'm surprised
I haven't given in yet to my desires.
Sometimes I get so scared that I will hurt myself,
Or lose control, that I hide anything
I could use, and bite my nails away.
I don't want to lose the battle,
I can do this, and so can you.
So it seems, that in many ways we are alike,
And I have shed tears for you,
And the pain you have endured within this life,
And I feel sorrow for the way the world leaves us,
Mistreated, broken and holding onto love.
I see your words and I worry and hope you are alright.
But I want to tell you now,
When I look at you what I see,
A reflection of you, looking back at me.
This two way mirror lets us look inside,
so that you can see my innards,
And I can see your heart.
I can tell that you love deep,
You are beautiful and talented,
And so very very sweet.
We deserve more from this life,
But its something we must take,
to battle our demons,
And prevail in the light.
You might not ever see what others do,
I might not either, its the simple truth,
But I know your strong,
even when you don't believe you are,
Have faith Kenzi, you have the strongest of hearts.
Copyright © Jay Loveless | Year Posted 2013
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