A Kind of Hate

as a child to his mother, to you i run but you reject me, as an illegal son i hoped to open your arms.... and take me into your embrace i hoped to hold your hand... and see the smile on your face i thought your were different... i thought you wouldn't give me pain i thought you loved me, i opened my heart for you.... but all was in vain, all was in vain!! my hopes in you were so high.... and as high they were, as painful was the fall! you made my feel that i can be loved you made me trust you.... you made me believe in love again but all in vain, all in vain!! now i shall leave you, like how you left me... i don't regret it, i don't feel guilty for it you who started it, you lied to me you deceived me... and after you made me believe in love again after you convinced me that i can be loved after you lied to me and made me feel... that you love me you just left!! like all the rest!! you are just like them all!! you are no different!! i thought you'd make me forget my ugly past i thought you'd make up for all those years.... i spent before seeing you i thought I'd find the true love i thought you'd never leave me but you left me!! just like all of them so now i shall leave you the same way now when you realized my value.... my worth, when you found nobody to love you the way i did to be kind to you, the way i was to praise you the way i did now you come back to me when you realized that you can never find somebody like me when you realized how good and true i was to you now you come back thinking I'm waiting for you!! thinking that i would meet you... with opened arms and take you into my embrace to hold my hand and to see the smile on my face! but i did just like what you did i rejected you just like how you rejected me i wanted to hurt you just like how you hurt me i wanted to make you feel how sad it feels, how bad it feels so you can try the poisonous cup you made me drink! just leave now, i don't want you anymore i don't love you anymore i may be even hating you now!! i don't want even to see, nor talk to you i don't want even to run into you as a coincidence! you just go away, and leave me alone again in my dear solitude, with my dear empty life with my dear hatred and anger and sadness I'd rather live and die alone than to be with somebody like you!!