A Heart of Gold

This heart of mine has So much love to share So why has my life Been full of despair This heart of mine So loving and giving But alone with my pain I am barely living This heart of gold Always battered and bruised Constantly in pain Always abused Eternally frightened Alone, hurt and sad Will my life ever Stop being bad My zest for life All taken away Never living Just existing each day Abuse and threats To me always spoken To hurt me, put me down Leave me broken I find it so hard To relax and trust Because my life always Turns to dust Mental abuse Physical pain My daily life Again and again My hopes and dreams Broken and shattered From years of hell Being abused and battered I need to feel loved To get something back No more pain or Being under attack People have said I have a heart of gold So why am i always Left out in the cold? I want to have a Life worth living Not one where i Am the only one giving Now i have Paul So i hope and pray He's the one to take All my pain away But if ever we argue My fear is so real No one knows The terror i feel I want to be happy Feel safe and grow old With him by my side To come in from the cold So with my guy now I hope to be free To live at last Allowed to be me I have never felt safe From all the pain and harm But that is improving When I'm in his arms He'll never understand My hell, tears and fear My burden of life All of these years With his help I can start to live To get some love back For all that i give I now want to feel Finally accepted For who i am At last be respected