A Decade Stunned

Poems I wrote saying what changed me some sort of unseen sabotage come at me hard shattered parts undone wiped clean pushed back to start raped me left me imprisoned cagey question marks hang over strangely shocked by betrayal locked in to hell can’t say what happened left for dead flattened each person let me down Confidence and will drowned bullied isolated hurting violated mates family work frustrated forced to take up arms and brawl no one to talk to or share my thoughts work was war mates onslaught family tore no rest just duel stood in the lobby looking at the door realising I had no one at all, literally, sickened me, a feeling inside had died I’d never asked for help before and never had I needed it more, unbelievable circumstances what’s the chances everyone I’d ever known not prepared to help and had let it be known, he'll snap out of it if you leave him alone, no one liked me no one cared conflicts everywhere I stared, and everyone was bossing me talking down from on top of me, thinking I’m stupid they bullied gave orders I must carry out with threats hurled, assuming my mood was put on, aware I look weak but didn't believe separately at the same time they pushed on, snap out of it joke humiliation, the person i had been was gone, submissive still they carried on beat a man when he’s down with no protection, repeatedly, hounds, remember days I didn’t speak, “he’s in a bad mood” sarcastically, just nod acknowledge stand and breathe it’s all an act they’d say to me too late by the time they’d see change in me never again see me a decade on I’m finally rearranging me it took a lot of people to leave me defeated