A Decade Stunned
Poems I wrote saying what changed me
some sort of unseen sabotage come at me hard
shattered parts
undone
wiped clean
pushed back to start
raped me left me
imprisoned cagey
question marks hang over strangely
shocked by betrayal
locked in to hell
can’t say what happened
left for dead flattened
each person let me down
Confidence and will drowned
bullied isolated
hurting violated
mates family work frustrated
forced to take up arms and brawl
no one to talk to or share my thoughts
work was war
mates onslaught
family tore
no rest just duel
stood in the lobby looking at the door realising I had no one at all,
literally, sickened me,
a feeling inside had died
I’d never asked for help before
and never had I needed it more,
unbelievable circumstances
what’s the chances
everyone I’d ever known
not prepared to help
and had let it be known,
he'll snap out of it if you leave him alone,
no one liked me no one cared
conflicts everywhere I stared,
and everyone was bossing me
talking down from on top of me,
thinking I’m stupid they bullied gave orders
I must carry out with threats hurled,
assuming my mood was put on,
aware I look weak but didn't believe
separately at the same time they pushed on,
snap out of it joke humiliation,
the person i had been was gone,
submissive still they carried on
beat a man when he’s down with no protection,
repeatedly, hounds,
remember days I didn’t speak,
“he’s in a bad mood” sarcastically,
just nod acknowledge stand and breathe
it’s all an act they’d say to me
too late by the time they’d see change in me
never again see me
a decade on I’m finally rearranging me
it took a lot of people to leave me defeated
Copyright © Nick Trim | Year Posted 2020
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