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A Dare

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I would appreciate any suggestions for improving this poem, things like rhythm, imagery, word choice, etc.

I pressed my body 
into gravel and oil,
the earth shuddered 
like it knew my name.
Wind tore at my hair—
hot metal screamed above me,
the stink of burnt grease 
and fear beside me.
Too late, I thought 
of low-hung hoses,
of chains and things that could 
pluck me straight out of the world.

I held my breath,
as if air alone might lift me
into the dreadful underside of things.
And the train— God, the train!—
roared on without mercy, gaining speed,
while I became smaller 
than my own fear,
flatter than my pulse
beating against the gravel.

And in that grinding forever,
I wished I hadn’t been so brave,
hadn’t laid my young life down
for nothing more than a dare.
I wanted my mother.
I wanted out.
But all I could do
was keep still and pray
the sky would come back.

The train at last was gone 
and I unscathed,
so I popped up like 
jack-in-the-box
and scared the daylights 
out of my friends,
laughing and triumphant 
and unnerved
at what I’d done without thinking,
and wondered if I’d be more careful
next time.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2025




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