A Dance With My Grief

I think my brain is broken, just let me tell you why. When I woke up this morning I guess I had forgotten that you died. I went to grab my phone to find your number inside, low and behold I haven't had your number for a very long time. Then I quickly remember it is true you did die. Why would my brain mess with my heart in such a callous way? Does it not feel the pain, when I am carefully dragging myself over the hurdles every day? Well if my brain is broken, I truly do need help. I'm tired of going to sleep knowing you're gone, only to wake up under, such a nightmarish spell. If this is what the rest of my days are to reflect, then please take me out of my misery. Just leave me with good painless thoughts and memories. I can't do this back and forth with death, it's consuming all of my energy.