A Couple of Nags

A Couple Of Nags A couple of fellows who weren't very bright Got terribly drunk in the pub one night It gave them a bit of a shock of course When in a drunk bet... They each won a horse With just enough money for chips and some haddock They couldn't afford the price of a paddock Bob said we'll rent a small field for a start But how would we then tell our horses apart? Ted slurred his words and burped when he said Couldn't we paint a white stripe on one's head Bob said we're too skint to buy us some fags So we can't afford paint for marking our nags We could tie a pink bow onto one of their tails Scratch names on their flanks with a couple of nails Or if you're not liking the sound of all that Could we make one of them wear a straw hat? Bob simply belched before he then said We need to do something much cheaper instead We can't afford ribbon or a silly straw hat Did you think me too drunk to have thought about that? Well we need to do something before we get old Or before we end up stone dead from the cold But then Bob jumped up and he started to gloat I've sussed it he boasted, just give one your coat Not likely said Ted, the thought makes me chilly So frankly, he burped, you're idea is silly Next you'll suggest that we smear one with jelly Or maybe we ought to make one wear a welly The two of them sat there, each scratching his head Then Bob had a brainwave and here's what he said We really must get this decided tonight So you have the black horse, and I'll have the white.