A Cockamamie Diagnosis

n a life with many valleys and a few mountaintops Alvin has met many people he thought were normal and others he thought not. If a man enjoys people their stars shine in the sky from different angles. They are all wonderful, Alvin tells everyone. For years he's asked doctors where on the Milky Way of normal and abnormal his star shines but no doctor would ever say. They don't want to be sued, Alvin tells everyone. A doctor he admired told Alvin he was a star betwixt and between normal and not. A cockamamie diagnosis, Alvin tells everyone. It was given to him by a man with degrees all over his wall, one of which on Alvin's last visit he turned upside down and security guards carried him out of the office down three flights of stairs while Alvin yelped and waved his arms. The guards did the right thing, Alvin tells everyone, saying I’m no star betwixt and between. Donal Mahoney