A Christmas Sting In the Tale.

Now Santa"s elves are busy they"re making lots of toys and other pretty things for all you girls and boys. But the bloody truth is! Their hours are long and hard, the heatings on the blink. Some bastard stole the plug from out the restroom sink. The toilet seat is cracked it really is a sin. The loo roll it is rationed and is to bloody thin. The Canteen menus awful the choices very bland and as for healthy eating it is the saddest in the land. The reindeer are abusive, foul tempered and quite bad. They all like interbreeding no wonder they are mad. Santa is no better he"s always at the drink. Then grins at all the elves and gives a wicked wink. The elves don"t have a Union, they have never known the like. So don"t take them for granted they never go on strike. But they have a sponsor, like a cracker has a joke. One that"s really big a company that makes Coke. At breaks they get a can and a selection box of sweeties. It is no wonder then they"ve no teeth and diabetes. So when you get your present just take a Mo and sit and dont take it for granted you ungrateful little git! For hard work is not easy, so don"t you bloody scoff. Those elves are nearly eunuchs they work their balls right off! and why? So you can be so happy when it is Christmas day, they do it all for nothing what more can I say. Let"s hear it for the elves for all the work this year and thank your lucky stars YOU dont have pointed ears! The elves have left the building. Thankyouverymuch.