A Candle In My Heart
It’s the smell of smoke
It sends its first warning
When we least suspect
It’s always slow but focused
It surely always creates a false impression
Of being far away
When it’s right beside us or behind us
It’s soft; nothing near hard or overtly caustic
It increases its intensity with bitter praise
It is almost always wrapped up
In a white linen of seeming admiral
It has a crooked laugh
Which shows up when it’s burning with glee
But is full of hate and contempt
It accepts pure kindness with a grin
Whiles it poans on how to meet the love
The pure love that gave a hand unconditionally
When it had no one and was the center of mockery
It comes with a mixture of hate and envy
It’s always the same
It has never changed throughout the years
It just appears with different clothes
And borne by different faces
It’s right beside me
It’s the crooked smile and the low tone
It was the silence I felt when I began to lead
It was the sharp plea and desire to learn
Not for learning sake
But to overtake and to strip naked
It’s the same peacock that boasted
And pushed me backwards to see the light
It is the same volatile gas
That burst out from it’s container with the slightest joke
And felt no guilt choking me again and again
It’s the inability to enjoy the pure gifts of love
It’s the joy felt at my slightest failure
It was the same pass received on the field
That left confusion and pain
It was the same envy that connived
To vote against me
It’s the insults I hear in my ears today
It was the same alacrity
That pushed her to rise and smite me
It’s the force that made him cheat
Just to humiliate me
It’s the reason behind my spectacle
And the faith that pulls me through
It’s the message that shouts in my ears
Every now and then
Reminding me of who I am
It’s the only reason I learn to fight again and again
It’s the candle that burns in my heart now
As I write with sweaty palms
It’s my only compass and my hard journey
The truthful evidence, that I’m almost there
Just a few meters away
From the promised land.
Copyright © Bernard Brakatu | Year Posted 2009
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