A Boyhood Raped

My eyes groaned , morning arrived, I realized, Then a moment of dire shook my entire stiff body. Did that night really happen? Did that happen to me? Was that a “gift” from my uncle Toddy? I was high, couldn’t move, when he raised my back up and then … oh no, I had to go spew. I couldn’t think, couldn’t feel, my body was numb, No one knew what I knew what I went through? Then, it never happened, not to me, I was in control, I was only crying from watching movie features. I had to get busy, that was it, at fifteen, study at school, I’d concentrate on each of my teachers. Since then I can’t play footy, sleeping’s a memory, I don’t talk to family about sexual assault. I hate being in crowds, don’t touch me, I don’t go out, And, yes, this is all my own stupid fault. Now my beautifully effective tool dealing with nightmares Is to drink and smoke and inject. I think I’m coping alone in my head really well, But my wife says I’m emotionally wrecked.