& There I Go

my muster is flimsy, flails about in the slightest breeze. i can't do better but crawl on my knees, lap your anger all up, lick my lips & scoff. i want you- get off, don't (stop) understand my confusion, i know no better than to abuse. nourish me with your guilt, i brought this upon myself, & there i go, must destroy all we have built.