Shattered Voices

Shattered Voices Could I have not screamed or say No? Am I Guilty? I still feel as if it was an act of love... But yet I still feel filthy I have yet to meet someone that could satisfy me As my mind wanders inappropriately I see couples holding hands intimately I look with mistrust misconstrued with jealousy I look into a shattered mirror and wonder if it is the same face you see I only see a face scarred and aged by ugliness, pain, and poverty They say the only way to heal is through Love and Forgiveness... But how can One learn to love? When you choose to be numb and ignore your prognosis A Love-sick Stray puppy willing to hump any leg until Happy-Time As long as you take me in and tell me that you Love me! Is That not Love? Yet I still feel fulfilled at-least temporarily That is until I can find a new disguise Sometimes I wonder if I have any feelings at all? I am scared of them. Feeling and emotions? Id much rather divide myself with a quotient Hide the Answers deep inside my mind Into a place even I have a hard time trying to find Love feels like a shattered dream... Things are never what they seem... It is wrong of me to express so much mistrust and jealousy I should be happy for those who love each-other honestly! But alas I seem to only know one cure for me drugs, call-girls, and whiskey! At-least until I run out of money... Shrug.