Paper Trail

The Paper Trail 1. Spend a lot of my free time being happy. Spend a lot of my time enjoying myself. Shutting my eyes tightly, figuring how to forget/ignore the storm ahead. Perhaps, I have been cursed. The hurricane of my mistakes is ready to take off the roof of our/my house. It's finally here, finally! 2. In my nightmares, I hear your careful footsteps going down the stairs and the creaking sounds of the luggage I asked you to throw out. Once again, I am alone. Imprisoned by my own mind and the broken frames on the wall, exuding memories of my viciously clawed fingers. In spring, you arrived like a summer breeze. It's winter when you left me in the cold. Our favorite tree is buried under the snow. Our house is soaked by its flakes. My heart is frozen by your disappearance. My worst season. Wanna know a secret? I still never shut the door. Call me delusional, but I pray you will return. 3. Finally, the storm is here! It came in the mail today. Two signatures is all it takes. The clock strikes six. How could a single paper haunt me? Rattling my wooden windows, pitter-pattering alongside my heartbeat, having me thinking in my sleep and tossing in my favorite bed. Grasping my wet pillow, replaying the things we could have done better. Things I should have said. My dreams become worry, and food tastes like chaff. Running away from the moment we will eventually have to part. Why do I always do this to myself? Choose to be happy when I was meant to be sad. Pitiful! I love you too much to believe we won't have an ever after. Please don't tell me it's for the best. 4. Watching nights become days, a single sheet becoming my greatest dismay. Took a walk around the street, found some kids, and gave them sweets. My smiles melting like clay How can a single paper taunt me? One, two, three, the clock strikes six. Law buddies firing up my phone. Hope is long gone. Will a pen put an end to our love? Tell me, My son? Leaving mommy for her? Perhaps, I need to recycle this obsession for rest.