Ah Me. Today Just a Sad Faced Mutt.

ah me. today just a sad faced mutt. The autumn sky above me is a deep gray. Hanging like a wet rag, its watching me in every which way. Wish i could reach beyond this expanse that encompasses me, and wonder if whats there is even worth trying to see? Damn this air is heavy. I just want to spread my wings and fly. But i cant fly with two shoulders that are stressed, from tugging at this weight i cant get off of my chest. Am i lost for good because i tire easily now and yawn to show it? Unimpressed with this charm of speech that has always made me a poet. My lunatic eye inward has turned me into an outpatient, but im still leaning closer in the mirror trying to find something sacred. And though my stare is vacant, im still concentrating hard to see past my crumbling teeth and rotting hair, hoping there is more to me. If not i'll move forward in silence, soaking up all the love and pain, trusting what my beating heart dictates 'til nothing of me but dust remains. Having been born in my skull and caged there with remorse forever, from the school yard to prison bars im killing my thoughts off altogether. Any short cut i ever took cut me short and the final cost was twice as steep. A fast buck leaves a slow burn, so with a sense of mature caution i proceed. Precious days i wasted, chasing skirts in pursuit of newness and tighter thighs. I lived with one foot out the door, but think i paid for all their crying eyes. However, if i haven't yet settled my debts for all the pain i knowingly created. I will accept my fate as a nowhere man here doomed to never make it, and pray to god that he might forgive me, knowing i wasn't ever his favorite.