She Wrote To Me

She Wrote To Me My secret lover I left you 5 years ago I could not take it anymore I had to fill my emptiness without you since I left I would cut out my heart every night & in the morning its full again. I got married to a rich noble politician thinking I can forget you I made myself well known here in London as a musician playing the piano in my own theater every night. The theater was full the sound of my piano was known to everybody living all over London due to my husbands political involvement in the area for many years the whole theater would be booked. My entrance was always approached with loud voices cheering till I give the sign of performing .That specific night i was in a very determined mood to involve my audience listen to the sound of my piano around and everywhere the lights were on me already but no sign to begin waiting for another noble to make his entry in the front row. I was wearing that long dress in black and white strapless the one I had worn on our first date doing my best to belong to my audience tonight while craving to catch a glimpse of your existence live standing opposite me the way we were your place was empty but not in my heart. The audience were standing up clapping waiting impatiently to listen to what they had already known music from the tip of my fingers will allow a pause through their breathing. The lights dimmed no introduction was needed I was going to play an old tune from the 80`s called Feelings remember when we danced to that tune I am dedicating this musical evening to you my love my first lover before we were obliged to be separated due to family upbringing. That same evening tragedy stole my expectations of living a love to perform an absolute change of a physical identity a living spirit awaiting to be executed when suddenly I collapsed unconscious on stage my fingers were numb my blood betrayed my heart. It was a heart attack paralyzing me on the left side cure or no cure is still unknown that had left me scarred when witnessing my dreams shatter in disrepair. I have been forced retirement at a prime age left with no choice hide behind the shadows of the twilight abdicate my thrown to an unknown. Escape was a forgotten word before this chute as an invalid carcass today my escape to the cottage was essential maybe a celestial miracle would prevail. The cottage by the deep sea will become my quarantine from what was an enlighten world to a world of darkness, my retirement was a runaway from the mockery of mankind who might disperse my dissipated soul. My shutters are unclosed as their usage was worthless brightness obscurity made no difference to me in that room. The ocean view struck me by its calmness, huge waves were not prepared to release their passion and splash on the shore to bring forth their own melody. I went for a walk walking like in a dream a dream with no feelings of body and soul the moon provided me to detect another lonely shadow of a stranger yet this time it was the shadow of a lost fish wavering on the sand nearly lifeless, our eyes met needed to be rescued I said to myself even not feeling my withered hand I bent down kindly carried it and threw it back to life what a wonderful sensation. You will do that to me my darling, I will wait. My decision to escape to the un inhibited cottage was a knowledgeable step as only seclusion and spiritual wounds would heal to prompt a new attitude that will lessen my sorrow inspire my moral to long for a tomorrow differing than a yesterday. Stand by me today, my awakening will hoist a sparkling light of recovery during this long coming journey. Intentionally I am your free woman. Here I will sleep now until destiny will allow both of us to cure and leave our fears behind with our past, together venture back to where we belong. I loved you and still love you. Me! Therese Bacha 6/3/2013