84 Degrees and Sunny

Sunglasses shield my eyes so I don’t have to look directly at the sun Which is the most beautiful thing All I want to see is beauty but I put a barrier in between My room shields my body from the sun It gives you cancer anyway But when I am inside, it feels smaller and hotter than ever And I feel more confused and scared than ever Why do I feel this when all I should feel is excitement and gratefulness? I should be out in the sun Yet here I am Again Feeling talentless, feeling pathetic, feeling sick What makes me happy? I don’t know All I know is I want to feel the way I used to about people I want to feel love and excitement for them I want to get butterflies and look at someone like they are unobtainable but I haven’t for years I want things to just fall into place and make sense They seem to for everyone else In my mind happiness looks like me dancing around a giant open room with a reggae band playing I’d just spin around in circles with my friends and no one else is there and no one else is watching me or judging me I don't even dance I guess that’s why people live inside their own head.