30 AND DEATH SEEMS FAR AWAY

How toxic can my heart get That it relies on my head so often? An escape from reality each time It finds solace in something delicious. And many times, my heart escapes my head, Reminding me that I’m still alive. I can’t erase the sad memories from my heart, Though my head drifts now and then, Shifting my focus from shame and guilt, Trying to wash away the bile of regret Stuck in my throat. But it isn’t enough to hold back the tears— Frozen tears, yet I’m melting away. Just one wish granted, and I will Puff away like smoke, Sink into the grave, where I can rest And forget all of this. I need help, but no matter how hard I scream, No one seems to hear. I am forgotten—I know. Who wouldn’t forget someone like me? All the accomplishments, yet I’m exhausted— Of life, of everything I see or touch. I won’t say I’m tired of my own skin, But what is life without self-love? And each time I gaze at the sky, Hoping something will emerge and take me away, I don’t mind hell— As long as it’s not Earth, my greatest pain. I tell myself I’ll be fine, But tomorrow will come again, And I will still wake up.