11:23 Pm

11.23pm Frothy clouds and floating waves, On the rooftop while I stargaze. 11.24pm Though my heart is stained with darkness, That's where you'll find the brightest stars.

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Frederick Espiritu

Date: 7/26/2016 7:41:00 AM

both are beautiful... I like the second one the most...

Julia Ho
Date: 7/26/2016 9:17:00 AM

Thank you! ^^

Mike Hauser

Date: 7/26/2016 7:15:00 AM

So poetic...nice

Julia Ho
Date: 7/26/2016 9:17:00 AM

Thanks! ^^

Tim Smith

Date: 7/25/2016 8:46:00 PM

I really like these Julia...Can I make a small suggestion?...try removing while in the last line of the first one...I don't think it is necessary.

Julia Ho
Date: 7/26/2016 9:33:00 AM

Thanks for the suggestion! I really like it too if the word is removed as it gives another feeling and meaning to it, but I intend it to flow while it's being read..not trying to create two separate scenes in the stanza. :)

Probir Gupta

Date: 7/25/2016 7:09:00 AM

beautiful beyond ...

Julia Ho
Date: 7/25/2016 7:17:00 AM

Thank you so much! It's my first time writing in an unusual style and I'm soooo glad that you liked it :)