poem for critique

Thank you Jeanette Swan, I value your suggestions and will look closely at how they can add to the poem. I really dislike how all the layout of a carefully structured verse has been turned into a bowl of noodles by the hosts of this site.

I agree with Jami - an evocative write! I can feel the low clouds and wind and love the verb for the crows - they 'commend the day'! Your use of 'unkempt' and 'sought', less common old-style words, adds to the time warp, longing for an unknown history. As a reader I generally like a bit of punctuation to guide me, but the blustering wind, and longing heart in this write might override that. The assonance in 'place to claim' helps the phrase ring with truth. 'abstract' and 'history' have similar sounds that tie them together too. I like the long vowels in 'the wild of oceans and deserted farms'. This makes the landscape stretch out. IDEAS: 'Serenade' doesn't work for me, with both the sound and weather: perhaps, torment/ harrass/ like banshees scream...... Maybe change the 'and', to 'yet never found'? I definitely need a punctuation pause before the last words of longing, perhaps, '...to claim my soul: somewhere my heart belongs (or a dash). p.s. It appears as a long continuous write - your 3 stanzas are gone.

Thank you Jami, For taking the time to read and generously comment on my poem. Hopefully it appeared to you as laid out by me in three line stanzas.

That's a beautiful and evocative poem! It speaks to a deep sense of ancestral memory and a yearning for a past that isn't your own, yet feels intrinsically connected to you. The imagery of crows, thunder, icy winds, and the wildness of oceans and deserted farms creates a powerful atmosphere. The line "a memory held within my cells from those who travelled far" perfectly encapsulates the feeling of anemoia, which is a great word to describe this kind of longing for a time or place you've never experienced. Your poem captures the essence of how our personal histories are intertwined with the broader currents of human migration and the enduring search for a sense of belonging. The "islands of Atlantic storms which lost the name of home" is particularly poignant, highlighting the loss and displacement that can come with such journeys. It truly conveys the search for a place to "claim my soul," a spiritual home that remains just out of reach, yet is deeply felt within your being.