Famous Specs Poems by Famous Poets

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...know I could still keep cool,
And deal out the old right hook
To dirty dogs twice my size.

Later, with inch-thick specs,
Evil was just my lark:
Me and my coat and fangs
Had ripping times in the dark.
The women I clubbed with sex!
I broke them up like meringues.

Don't read much now: the dude
Who lets the girl down before
The hero arrives, the chap
Who's yellow and keeps the store
Seem far too familiar. Get stewed:
Books are a load of crap....Read more of this...

...o show 'im the spot,
And 'e says wi' a look o' amazement: "Sure, Ma'am, it must hurt ye a lot."
Then 'e puts on 'is specs to regard it, and finally says wi' a frown:
"I'll bet it's as sore as the divvle, especially whin ye sit down.
I think it's a case for the Surgeon; ye'd better consult Doctor Hoyle.
I've no hisitation in sayin' yer boil is a hill of a boil."

So Misses she thanks 'im for sayin' her boil is a hill of a boil,
And 'unts all around till she com...Read more of this...

...some rhyme-book I've read,
A lady bard has said,
 And deemed it true,
Men will not bite the necks
Of sweeties who wear specs,--
 Young man, would you?

But though they balk romance,
Columbus took a chance,
 And so would I;
Even with orbs unseen
I'd fain make you my queen
 And you en-sky.
Alas I see you go,
And I will never know
 Your pupils tint;
So o'er a lonely drink
I force myself to think:
 Damsel, you squint!...Read more of this...

...ht were gay
 I saw were lined with care,
While strange corruption and decay
 Surprised me everywhere:
Dismayed I put my specs away,--
 Such truth I could not bear.

And now I do not want to see
 With clarity of view;
For while there's heaven hell may be
 More tragically true:
Though dim may be Reality,
 Sheer love shines through....Read more of this...

...istmas pedagogue,
Poor Tim was forced to do -
Look out for pupils; for he had
A vacancy for two.

There's some have specs to help their sight
Of objects dim and small : 
But Tim had specks within his eyes, 
And could not see at all. 

Now Tim he wooed a servant maid, 
And took her to his arms; 
For he, like Pyramus, had cast 
A wall-eye on her charms.

By day she led him up and down. 
Where'er he wished to jog,
A happy wife, altho' she led 
The life of any dog...Read more of this...

...ht were gay
 I saw were lined with care,
While strange corruption and decay
 Surprised me everywhere:
Dismayed I put my specs away,--
 Such truth I could not bear.

And now I do not want to see
 With clarity of view;
For while there's heaven hell may be
 More tragically true:
Though dim may be Reality,
 Sheer love shines through....Read more of this...

...and waited in vain,
but nobody asked her to dance.

Said Mother to me: "You'll agree
That any young girl who wears specs,
however so clever she be,
Is lacking in glamour of sex."
Said I: "There is one by the wall
Who doesn't seem having a chance.
She's ready to weep - Dash it all,
I'm going to ask her to dance."

I caught her just slipping away
So quietly no one would know;
But bravely she tried to seem gay,
Though her heart might be aching with woe.
Poor...Read more of this...

...About twenty years ago
Two girls came in where I worked -
A bosomy English rose
And her friend in specs I could talk to.
Faces in those days sparked
The whole shooting-match off, and I doubt
If ever one had like hers:
But it was the friend I took out,

And in seven years after that
Wrote over four hundred letters,
Gave a ten-guinea ring
I got back in the end, and met
At numerous cathedral cities
Unknown to the clergy. I believe
I met beautiful tw...Read more of this...

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