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Famous Long Hilarious Poems

Famous Long Hilarious Poems. Long Hilarious Poetry by Famous Poets. A collection of the all-time best Hilarious long poems

See also: Long Member Poems

 
by John Ashbery

Into the Dusk-Charged Air

 Far from the Rappahannock, the silent
Danube moves along toward the sea.
The brown and green Nile rolls slowly
Like the Niagara's welling descent.
Tractors stood on the green banks of the Loire
Near where it joined the Cher.
The St. Lawrence prods among black stones
And mud. But the Arno is all stones.
Wind ruffles the Hudson's
Surface. The Irawaddy is overflowing.
But the yellowish, gray Tiber
Is contained within steep banks. The Isar
Flows too fast to swim in, the Jordan's water
Courses over the flat land. The Allegheny and its boats
Were dark blue. The Moskowa is
Gray boats. The Amstel flows slowly.
Leaves fall into the Connecticut as it passes
Underneath. The Liffey is full of sewage,
Like the Seine, but unlike
The brownish-yellow Dordogne.
Mountains hem in the Colorado
And the Oder is very deep, almost
As deep as the Congo is wide.
The plain banks of the Neva are
Gray. The dark Saône flows silently.
And the Volga is long and wide
As it flows across the brownish land. The Ebro
Is blue, and slow. The Shannon flows
Swiftly between its banks. The Mississippi
Is one of the world's longest rivers, like the Amazon.
It has the Missouri for a tributary.
The Harlem flows amid factories
And buildings. The Nelson is in Canada,
Flowing. Through hard banks the Dubawnt
Forces its way. People walk near the Trent.
The...
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by Henry Lawson

The Rhyme of the Three Greybeards

 He'd been for years in Sydney "a-acting of the goat", 
His name was Joseph Swallow, "the Great Australian Pote", 
In spite of all the stories and sketches that he wrote. 

And so his friends held meetings (Oh, narrow souls were theirs!) 
To advertise their little selves and Joseph's own affairs. 
They got up a collection for Joseph unawares. 

They looked up his connections and rivals by the score – 
The wife who had divorced him some twenty years before, 
And several politicians he'd made feel very sore. 

They sent him down to Coolan, a long train ride from here, 
Because of his grey hairs and "pomes" and painted blondes – and beer. 
(I mean to say the painted blondes would always give him beer.) 

(They loved him for his eyes were dark, and you must not condemn 
The love for opposites that mark the everlasting fem. 
Besides, he "made up" little bits of poetry for them.) 

They sent him "for his own sake", but not for that alone – 
A poet's sins are public; his sorrows are his own. 
And poets' friends have skins like hides, and mostly hearts of stone. 

They said "We'll send some money and you...
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by Edwin Arlington Robinson

Isaac and Archibald

 (To Mrs. Henry Richards)


Isaac and Archibald were two old men. 
I knew them, and I may have laughed at them 
A little; but I must have honored them 
For they were old, and they were good to me. 

I do not think of either of them now,
Without remembering, infallibly, 
A journey that I made one afternoon 
With Isaac to find out what Archibald 
Was doing with his oats. It was high time 
Those oats were cut, said Isaac; and he feared
That Archibald—well, he could never feel 
Quite sure of Archibald. Accordingly 
The good old man invited me—that is, 
Permitted me—to go along with him; 
And I, with a small boy’s adhesiveness
To competent old age, got up and went. 

I do not know that I cared overmuch 
For Archibald’s or anybody’s oats, 
But Archibald was quite another thing, 
And Isaac yet another; and the world
Was wide, and there was gladness everywhere. 
We walked together down the River Road 
With all the warmth and wonder of the land 
Around us, and the wayside flash of leaves,— 
And Isaac said the day was glorious;
But somewhere at the end of the first mile 
I found that I was figuring to find 
How long...
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by Wallace Stevens

THE COMEDIAN AS THE LETTER C

I 

The World without Imagination 

1 Nota: man is the intelligence of his soil, 
2 The sovereign ghost. As such, the Socrates 
3 Of snails, musician of pears, principium 
4 And lex. Sed quaeritur: is this same wig 
5 Of things, this nincompated pedagogue, 
6 Preceptor to the sea? Crispin at sea 
7 Created, in his day, a touch of doubt. 
8 An eye most apt in gelatines and jupes, 
9 Berries of villages, a barber's eye, 
10 An eye of land, of simple salad-beds, 
11 Of honest quilts, the eye of Crispin, hung 
12 On porpoises, instead of apricots, 
13 And on silentious porpoises, whose snouts 
14 Dibbled in waves that were mustachios, 
15 Inscrutable hair in an inscrutable world. 

16 One eats one pat¨¦, even of salt, quotha. 
17 It was not so much the lost terrestrial, 
18 The snug hibernal from that sea and salt, 
19 That century of wind in a single puff. 
20 What counted was mythology of self, 
21 Blotched out beyond unblotching. Crispin, 
22 The lutanist of fleas, the knave, the thane, 
23 The ribboned stick, the bellowing breeches, cloak 
24 Of China, cap of Spain, imperative haw 
25 Of hum, inquisitorial botanist,...
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by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Evangeline: A Tale of Acadie

 This is the forest primeval. The murmuring pines and the hemlocks,
Bearded with moss, and in garments green, indistinct in the twilight,
Stand like Druids of eld, with voices sad and prophetic,
Stand like harpers hoar, with beards that rest on their bosoms.
Loud from its rocky caverns, the deep-voiced neighboring ocean
Speaks, and in accents disconsolate answers the wail of the forest.

This is the forest primeval; but where are the hearts that beneath it
Leaped like the roe, when he hears in the woodland the voice of the huntsman
Where is the thatch-roofed village, the home of Acadian farmers,--
Men whose lives glided on like rivers that water the woodlands,
Darkened by shadows of earth, but reflecting an image of heaven?
Waste are those pleasant farms, and the farmers forever departed!
Scattered like dust and leaves, when the mighty blasts of October
Seize them, and whirl them aloft, and sprinkle them far o'er the ocean
Naught but tradition remains of the beautiful village of Grand-Pre.

Ye who believe in affection that hopes, and endures, and is patient,
Ye who believe in the beauty and strength of woman's devotion,
List to the mournful tradition still sung by the pines of the forest;
List to a Tale of Love in Acadie, home of the happy.



PART THE FIRST

I

In...
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things