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Best Famous Toothache Poems

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Written by David Lehman | Create an image from this poem

Wittgensteins Ladder

 "My propositions serve as elucidations in the following way: 
 anyone who understands them eventually recognizes them as 
 nonsensical, when he has used them -- as steps -- to climb 
 up beyond them. (He must, so to speak, throw away the ladder 
 after he has climbed up it.)" -- Ludwig Wittgenstein, Tractatus 

1. 

The first time I met Wittgenstein, I was 
late. "The traffic was murder," I explained. 
He spent the next forty-five minutes 
analyzing this sentence. Then he was silent. 
I wondered why he had chosen a water tower
for our meeting. I also wondered how
I would leave, since the ladder I had used 
to climb up here had fallen to the ground. 

2. 

Wittgenstein served as a machine-gunner 
in the Austrian Army in World War I. 
Before the war he studied logic in Cambridge 
with Bertrand Russell. Having inherited 
his father's fortune (iron and steel), he 
gave away his money, not to the poor, whom 
it would corrupt, but to relations so rich 
it would not thus affect them. 

3. 

On leave in Vienna in August 1918 
he assembled his notebook entries 
into the Tractatus, Since it provided 
the definitive solution to all the problems 
of philosophy, he decided to broaden 
his interests. He became a schoolteacher, 
then a gardener's assistant at a monastery 
near Vienna. He dabbled in architecture. 

4. 

He returned to Cambridge in 1929, 
receiving his doctorate for the Tractatus, 
"a work of genius," in G. E. Moore's opinion. 
Starting in 1930 he gave a weekly lecture 
and led a weekly discussion group. He spoke 
without notes amid long periods of silence. 
Afterwards, exhausted, he went to the movies 
and sat in the front row. He liked Carmen Miranda. 

5. 

He would visit Russell's rooms at midnight 
and pace back and forth "like a caged tiger. 
On arrival, he would announce that when
he left he would commit suicide. So, in spite 
of getting sleepy, I did not like to turn him out." On 
such a night, after hours of dead silence, Russell said, 
"Wittgenstein, are you thinking about logic or about 
yours sins?" "Both," he said, and resumed his silence.

6. 

Philosophy was an activity, not a doctrine. 
"Solipsism, when its implications are followed out 
strictly, coincides with pure realism," he wrote. 
Dozens of dons wondered what he meant. Asked 
how he knew that "this color is red," he smiled
and said, "because I have learnt English." There 
were no other questions. Wittgenstein let the 
silence gather. Then he said, "this itself is the answer." 

7. 

Religion went beyond the boundaries of language, 
yet the impulse to run against "the walls of our cage," 
though "perfectly, absolutely useless," was not to be 
dismissed. A. J. Ayer, one of Oxford's ablest minds, 
was puzzled. If logic cannot prove a nonsensical 
conclusion, why didn't Wittgenstein abandon it, 
"along with the rest of metaphysics, as not worth 
serious attention, except perhaps for sociologists"? 

8. 

Because God does not reveal himself in this world, and 
"the value of this work," Wittgenstein wrote, "is that 
it shows how little is achieved when these problems 
are solved." When I quoted Gertrude Stein's line 
about Oakland, "there's no there there," he nodded. 
Was there a there, I persisted. His answer: Yes and No.
It was as impossible to feel another's person's pain 
as to suffer another person's toothache.

9. 

At Cambridge the dons quoted him reverently. 
I asked them what they thought was his biggest
contribution to philosophy. "Whereof one cannot 
speak, thereof one must be silent," one said.
Others spoke of his conception of important 
nonsense. But I liked best the answer John 
Wisdom gave: "His asking of the question 
`Can one play chess without the queen?'" 

10. 

Wittgenstein preferred American detective 
stories to British philosophy. He liked lunch 
and didn't care what it was, "so long as it was 
always the same," noted Professor Malcolm 
of Cornell, a former student, in whose house 
in Ithaca Wittgenstein spent hours doing 
handyman chores. He was happy then. 
There was no need to say a word.


Written by Robert Burns | Create an image from this poem

138. Address to the Toothache

 MY curse upon your venom’d stang,
That shoots my tortur’d gums alang,
An’ thro’ my lug gies mony a twang,
 Wi’ gnawing vengeance,
Tearing my nerves wi’ bitter pang,
 Like racking engines!


When fevers burn, or argues freezes,
Rheumatics gnaw, or colics squeezes,
Our neibor’s sympathy can ease us,
 Wi’ pitying moan;
But thee—thou hell o’ a’ diseases—
 They mock our groan.


Adown my beard the slavers trickle
I throw the wee stools o’er the mickle,
While round the fire the giglets keckle,
 To see me loup,
While, raving mad, I wish a heckle
 Were in their doup!


In a’ the numerous human dools,
Ill hairsts, daft bargains, cutty stools,
Or worthy frien’s rak’d i’ the mools,—
 Sad sight to see!
The tricks o’ knaves, or fash o’fools,
 Thou bear’st the gree!


Where’er that place be priests ca’ hell,
Where a’ the tones o’ misery yell,
An’ ranked plagues their numbers tell,
 In dreadfu’ raw,
Thou, TOOTHACHE, surely bear’st the bell,
 Amang them a’!


O thou grim, mischief-making chiel,
That gars the notes o’ discord squeel,
Till daft mankind aft dance a reel
 In gore, a shoe-thick,
Gie a’ the faes o’ SCOTLAND’S weal
 A townmond’s toothache!
Written by Sir Walter Raleigh | Create an image from this poem

Now What Is Love

 Now what is Love, I pray thee, tell?
It is that fountain and that well
Where pleasure and repentance dwell;
It is, perhaps, the sauncing bell
That tolls all into heaven or hell;
And this is Love, as I hear tell.

Yet what is Love, I prithee, say?
It is a work on holiday,
It is December matched with May,
When lusty bloods in fresh array
Hear ten months after of the play;
And this is Love, as I hear say.

Yet what is Love, good shepherd, sain?
It is a sunshine mixed with rain,
It is a toothache or like pain,
It is a game where none hath gain;
The lass saith no, yet would full fain;
And this is Love, as I hear sain.

Yet, shepherd, what is Love, I pray?
It is a yes, it is a nay,
A pretty kind of sporting fray, 
It is a thing will soon away.
Then, nymphs, take vantage while ye may;
And this is Love, as I hear say.

Yet what is Love, good shepherd, show?
A thing that creeps, it cannot go,
A prize that passeth to and fro,
A thing for one, a thing for moe,
And he that proves shall find it so;
And shepherd, this is Love, I trow.
Written by Carl Sandburg | Create an image from this poem

Fellow Citizens

 I DRANK musty ale at the Illinois Athletic Club with
the millionaire manufacturer of Green River butter
one night
And his face had the shining light of an old-time Quaker,
he spoke of a beautiful daughter, and I knew he had
a peace and a happiness up his sleeve somewhere.
Then I heard Jim Kirch make a speech to the Advertising
Association on the trade resources of South America.
And the way he lighted a three-for-a-nickel stogie and
cocked it at an angle regardless of the manners of
our best people,
I knew he had a clutch on a real happiness even though
some of the reporters on his newspaper say he is
the living double of Jack London's Sea Wolf.
In the mayor's office the mayor himself told me he was
happy though it is a hard job to satisfy all the office-
seekers and eat all the dinners he is asked to eat.
Down in Gilpin Place, near Hull House, was a man with
his jaw wrapped for a bad toothache,
And he had it all over the butter millionaire, Jim Kirch
and the mayor when it came to happiness.
He is a maker of accordions and guitars and not only
makes them from start to finish, but plays them
after he makes them.
And he had a guitar of mahogany with a walnut bottom
he offered for seven dollars and a half if I wanted it,
And another just like it, only smaller, for six dollars,
though he never mentioned the price till I asked him,
And he stated the price in a sorry way, as though the
music and the make of an instrument count for a
million times more than the price in money.
I thought he had a real soul and knew a lot about God.
There was light in his eyes of one who has conquered
sorrow in so far as sorrow is conquerable or worth
conquering.
Anyway he is the only Chicago citizen I was jealous of
that day.
He played a dance they play in some parts of Italy
when the harvest of grapes is over and the wine
presses are ready for work.
Written by Philip Levine | Create an image from this poem

The Present

 The day comes slowly in the railyard 
behind the ice factory. It broods on 
one cinder after another until each 
glows like lead or the eye of a dog 
possessed of no inner fire, the brown 
and greasy pointer who raises his muzzle 
a moment and sighing lets it thud 
down on the loading dock. In no time 
the day has crossed two sets of tracks, 
a semi-trailer with no tractor, and crawled 
down three stories of the bottling plant 
at the end of the alley. It is now 
less than five hours until mid-day 
when nothing will be left in doubt, 
each scrap of news, each banished carton, 
each forgotten letter, its ink bled of lies, 
will stare back at the one eye that sees 
it all and never blinks. But for now 
there is water settling in a clean glass 
on the shelf beside the razor, the slap 
of bare feet on the floor above. Soon 
the scent of rivers borne across roof 
after roof by winds without names, 
the aroma of opened beds better left 
closed, of mouths without teeth, of light 
rustling among the mice droppings 
at the back of a bin of potatoes. 

* 

The old man who sleeps among the cases 
of empty bottles in a little nest of rags 
and newspapers at the back of the plant 
is not an old man. He is twenty years 
younger than I am now putting this down 
in permanent ink on a yellow legal pad 
during a crisp morning in October. 
When he fell from a high pallet, his sleeve 
caught on a nail and spread his arms 
like a figure out of myth. His head 
tore open on a spear of wood, and he 
swore in French. No, he didn't want 
a doctor. He wanted toilet paper 
and a drink, which were fetched. He used 
the tiny bottle of whisky to straighten 
out his eyes and the toilet paper to clean 
his pants, fouled in the fall, and he did 
both with seven teenage boys looking on 
in wonder and fear. At last the blood 
slowed and caked above his ear, and he 
never once touched the wound. Instead, 
in a voice no one could hear, he spoke 
to himself, probably in French, and smoked 
sitting back against a pallet, his legs 
thrust out on the damp cement floor. 

* 

In his white coveralls, crisp and pressed, 
Teddy the Polack told us a fat tit 
would stop a toothache, two a headache. 
He told it to anyone who asked, and grinned -- 
the small eyes watering at the corners -- 
as Alcibiades might have grinned 
when at last he learned that love leads 
even the body beloved to a moment 
in the present when desire calms, the skin 
glows, the soul takes the light of day, 
even a working day in 1944. 
For Baharozian at seventeen the present 
was a gift. Seeing my ashen face, 
the cold sweats starting, he seated me 
in a corner of the boxcar and did 
both our jobs, stacking the full cases 
neatly row upon row and whistling 
the songs of Kate Smith. In the bathroom 
that night I posed naked before the mirror, 
the new cross of hair staining my chest, 
plunging to my groin. That was Wednesday, 
for every Wednesday ended in darkness. 

* 

One of those teenage boys was my brother. 
That night as we lay in bed, the lights 
out, we spoke of Froggy, of how at first 
we thought he would die and how little 
he seemed to care as the blood rose 
to fill and overflow his ear. Slowly 
the long day came over us and our breath 
quieted and eased at last, and we slept. 
When I close my eyes now his bare legs 
glow before me again, pure and lovely 
in their perfect whiteness, the buttocks 
dimpled and firm. I see again the rope 
of his sex, unwrinkled, flushed and swaying, 
the hard flat belly as he raises his shirt 
to clean himself. He gazes at no one 
or nothing, but seems instead to look off 
into a darkness I hadn't seen, a pool 
of shadow that forms before his eyes, 
in my memory now as solid as onyx. 

* 

I began this poem in the present 
because nothing is past. The ice factory, 
the bottling plant, the cindered yard 
all gave way to a low brick building 
a block wide and windowless where they 
designed gun mounts for personnel carriers 
that never made it to Korea. My brother 
rises early, and on clear days he walks 
to the corner to have toast and coffee. 
Seventeen winters have melted into an earth 
of stone, bottle caps, and old iron to carry 
off the hard remains of Froggy Frenchman 
without a blessing or a stone to bear it. 
A little spar of him the size of a finger, 
pointed and speckled as though blood-flaked, 
washed ashore from Lake Erie near Buffalo 
before the rest slipped down the falls out 
into the St. Lawrence. He could be at sea, 
he could be part of an ocean, by now 
he could even be home. This morning I 
rose later than usual in a great house 
full of sunlight, but I believe it came 
down step by step on each wet sheet 
of wooden siding before it crawled 
from the ceiling and touched my pillow 
to waken me. When I heave myself 
out of this chair with a great groan of age 
and stand shakily, the three mice still 
in the wall. From across the lots 
the wind brings voices I can't make out, 
scraps of song or sea sounds, daylight 
breaking into dust, the perfume of waiting 
rain, of onions and potatoes frying.


Written by Henry Lawson | Create an image from this poem

The City Bushman

 It was pleasant up the country, City Bushman, where you went, 
For you sought the greener patches and you travelled like a gent; 
And you curse the trams and buses and the turmoil and the push, 
Though you know the squalid city needn't keep you from the bush; 
But we lately heard you singing of the `plains where shade is not', 
And you mentioned it was dusty -- `all was dry and all was hot'. 

True, the bush `hath moods and changes' -- and the bushman hath 'em, too, 
For he's not a poet's dummy -- he's a man, the same as you; 
But his back is growing rounder -- slaving for the absentee -- 
And his toiling wife is thinner than a country wife should be. 
For we noticed that the faces of the folks we chanced to meet 
Should have made a greater contrast to the faces in the street; 
And, in short, we think the bushman's being driven to the wall, 
And it's doubtful if his spirit will be `loyal thro' it all'. 

Though the bush has been romantic and it's nice to sing about, 
There's a lot of patriotism that the land could do without -- 
Sort of BRITISH WORKMAN nonsense that shall perish in the scorn 
Of the drover who is driven and the shearer who is shorn, 
Of the struggling western farmers who have little time for rest, 
And are ruined on selections in the sheep-infested West; 
Droving songs are very pretty, but they merit little thanks 
From the people of a country in possession of the Banks. 

And the `rise and fall of seasons' suits the rise and fall of rhyme, 
But we know that western seasons do not run on schedule time; 
For the drought will go on drying while there's anything to dry, 
Then it rains until you'd fancy it would bleach the sunny sky -- 
Then it pelters out of reason, for the downpour day and night 
Nearly sweeps the population to the Great Australian Bight. 
It is up in Northern Queensland that the seasons do their best, 
But it's doubtful if you ever saw a season in the West; 
There are years without an autumn or a winter or a spring, 
There are broiling Junes, and summers when it rains like anything. 

In the bush my ears were opened to the singing of the bird, 
But the `carol of the magpie' was a thing I never heard. 
Once the beggar roused my slumbers in a shanty, it is true, 
But I only heard him asking, `Who the blanky blank are you?' 
And the bell-bird in the ranges -- but his `silver chime' is harsh 
When it's heard beside the solo of the curlew in the marsh. 

Yes, I heard the shearers singing `William Riley', out of tune, 
Saw 'em fighting round a shanty on a Sunday afternoon, 
But the bushman isn't always `trapping brumbies in the night', 
Nor is he for ever riding when `the morn is fresh and bright', 
And he isn't always singing in the humpies on the run -- 
And the camp-fire's `cheery blazes' are a trifle overdone; 
We have grumbled with the bushmen round the fire on rainy days, 
When the smoke would blind a bullock and there wasn't any blaze, 
Save the blazes of our language, for we cursed the fire in turn 
Till the atmosphere was heated and the wood began to burn. 
Then we had to wring our blueys which were rotting in the swags, 
And we saw the sugar leaking through the bottoms of the bags, 
And we couldn't raise a chorus, for the toothache and the cramp, 
While we spent the hours of darkness draining puddles round the camp. 

Would you like to change with Clancy -- go a-droving? tell us true, 
For we rather think that Clancy would be glad to change with you, 
And be something in the city; but 'twould give your muse a shock 
To be losing time and money through the foot-rot in the flock, 
And you wouldn't mind the beauties underneath the starry dome 
If you had a wife and children and a lot of bills at home. 

Did you ever guard the cattle when the night was inky-black, 
And it rained, and icy water trickled gently down your back 
Till your saddle-weary backbone fell a-aching to the roots 
And you almost felt the croaking of the bull-frog in your boots -- 
Sit and shiver in the saddle, curse the restless stock and cough 
Till a squatter's irate dummy cantered up to warn you off? 
Did you fight the drought and pleuro when the `seasons' were asleep, 
Felling sheoaks all the morning for a flock of starving sheep, 
Drinking mud instead of water -- climbing trees and lopping boughs 
For the broken-hearted bullocks and the dry and dusty cows? 

Do you think the bush was better in the `good old droving days', 
When the squatter ruled supremely as the king of western ways, 
When you got a slip of paper for the little you could earn, 
But were forced to take provisions from the station in return -- 
When you couldn't keep a chicken at your humpy on the run, 
For the squatter wouldn't let you -- and your work was never done; 
When you had to leave the missus in a lonely hut forlorn 
While you `rose up Willy Riley' -- in the days ere you were born? 

Ah! we read about the drovers and the shearers and the like 
Till we wonder why such happy and romantic fellows strike. 
Don't you fancy that the poets ought to give the bush a rest 
Ere they raise a just rebellion in the over-written West? 
Where the simple-minded bushman gets a meal and bed and rum 
Just by riding round reporting phantom flocks that never come; 
Where the scalper -- never troubled by the `war-whoop of the push' -- 
Has a quiet little billet -- breeding rabbits in the bush; 
Where the idle shanty-keeper never fails to make a draw, 
And the dummy gets his tucker through provisions in the law; 
Where the labour-agitator -- when the shearers rise in might -- 
Makes his money sacrificing all his substance for The Right; 
Where the squatter makes his fortune, and `the seasons rise and fall', 
And the poor and honest bushman has to suffer for it all; 
Where the drovers and the shearers and the bushmen and the rest 
Never reach the Eldorado of the poets of the West. 

And you think the bush is purer and that life is better there, 
But it doesn't seem to pay you like the `squalid street and square'. 
Pray inform us, City Bushman, where you read, in prose or verse, 
Of the awful `city urchin who would greet you with a curse'. 
There are golden hearts in gutters, though their owners lack the fat, 
And we'll back a teamster's offspring to outswear a city brat. 
Do you think we're never jolly where the trams and buses rage? 
Did you hear the gods in chorus when `Ri-tooral' held the stage? 
Did you catch a ring of sorrow in the city urchin's voice 
When he yelled for Billy Elton, when he thumped the floor for Royce? 
Do the bushmen, down on pleasure, miss the everlasting stars 
When they drink and flirt and so on in the glow of private bars? 

You've a down on `trams and buses', or the `roar' of 'em, you said, 
And the `filthy, dirty attic', where you never toiled for bread. 
(And about that self-same attic -- Lord! wherever have you been? 
For the struggling needlewoman mostly keeps her attic clean.) 
But you'll find it very jolly with the cuff-and-collar push, 
And the city seems to suit you, while you rave about the bush. 

. . . . . 

You'll admit that Up-the Country, more especially in drought, 
Isn't quite the Eldorado that the poets rave about, 
Yet at times we long to gallop where the reckless bushman rides 
In the wake of startled brumbies that are flying for their hides; 
Long to feel the saddle tremble once again between our knees 
And to hear the stockwhips rattle just like rifles in the trees! 
Long to feel the bridle-leather tugging strongly in the hand 
And to feel once more a little like a native of the land. 
And the ring of bitter feeling in the jingling of our rhymes 
Isn't suited to the country nor the spirit of the times. 
Let us go together droving, and returning, if we live, 
Try to understand each other while we reckon up the div.
Written by Edna St. Vincent Millay | Create an image from this poem

Fontaine Je Ne Boirai Pas De Ton Eau!

 I know I might have lived in such a way
As to have suffered only pain:
Loving not man nor dog;
Not money, even; feeling
Toothache perhaps, but never more than an hour away
From skill and novocaine;
Making no contacts, dealing with life through Agents, drinking
 one cocktail, betting two dollars, wearing raincoats in the
 rain.
Betrayed at length by no one but the fog
Whispering to the wing of the plane.

"Fountain," I have cried to that unbubbling well, "I will not
 drink of thy water!" Yet I thirst
For a mouthful of—not to swallow, only to rinse my mouth in
 —peace.
And while the eyes of the past condemn,
The eyes of the present narrow into assignation. And—
 worst— 
The young are so old, they are born with their fingers crossed;
 I shall get no help from them.
Written by Ogden Nash | Create an image from this poem

To My Valentine

 More than a catbird hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue,
Or the Axis hates the United States,
That's how much I love you.

I love you more than a duck can swim,
And more than a grapefruit squirts,
I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore,
And more than a toothache hurts.

As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,
Or a juggler hates a shove,
As a hostess detests unexpected guests,
That's how much you I love.

I love you more than a wasp can sting,
And more than the subway jerks,
I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch,
And more than a hangnail irks.

I swear to you by the stars above,
And below, if such there be,
As the High Court loathes perjurious oathes,
That's how you're love by me.

Book: Reflection on the Important Things