by
Wystan Hugh (W H) Auden
When there are so many we shall have to mourn,when grief has been made so public, and exposedto the critique of a whole epochthe frailty of our conscience and anguish, of whom shall we speak? For every day they dieamong us, those who were doing us some good,who knew it was never enough buthoped to improve a little by living. Such was this doctor: still at eighty he wishedto think of our life from whose unrulinessso many plausible young futureswith threats or flattery ask obedience, but his wish was denied him: he closed his eyesupon that last picture, common to us all,of problems like relatives gatheredpuzzled and jealous about our dying. For about him till the very end were stillthose he had studied, the fauna of the night,and shades that still waited to enterthe bright circle of his recognition turned elsewhere with their disappointment as hewas taken away from his life interestto go back to the earth in London,an important Jew who died in exile. Only Hate was happy, hoping to augmenthis practice now, and his dingy clientelewho think they can be cured by killingand covering the garden with ashes. They are still alive, but in a world he changedsimply by looking back with no false regrets;all he did was to rememberlike the old and be honest like children. He wasn't clever at all: he merely toldthe unhappy Present to recite the Pastlike a poetry lesson till sooneror later it faltered at the line where long ago the accusations had begun,and suddenly knew by whom it had been judged,how rich life had been and how silly,and was life-forgiven and more humble, able to approach the Future as a friendwithout a wardrobe of excuses, withouta set mask of rectitude or anembarrassing over-familiar gesture. No wonder the ancient cultures of conceitin his technique of unsettlement foresawthe fall of princes, the collapse oftheir lucrative patterns of frustration: if he succeeded, why, the Generalised Lifewould become impossible, the monolithof State be broken and preventedthe co-operation of avengers. Of course they called on God, but he went his waydown among the lost people like Dante, downto the stinking fosse where the injuredlead the ugly life of the rejected, and showed us what evil is, not, as we thought,deeds that must be punished, but our lack of faith,our dishonest mood of denial,the concupiscence of the oppressor. If some traces of the autocratic pose,the paternal strictness he distrusted, stillclung to his utterance and features,it was a protective coloration for one who'd lived among enemies so long:if often he was wrong and, at times, absurd,to us he is no more a personnow but a whole climate of opinion under whom we conduct our different lives:Like weather he can only hinder or help,the proud can still be proud but find ita little harder, the tyrant tries to make do with him but doesn't care for him much:he quietly surrounds all our habits of growthand extends, till the tired in eventhe remotest miserable duchy have felt the change in their bones and are cheeredtill the child, unlucky in his little State,some hearth where freedom is excluded,a hive whose honey is fear and worry, feels calmer now and somehow assured of escape,while, as they lie in the grass of our neglect,so many long-forgotten objectsrevealed by his undiscouraged shining are returned to us and made precious again;games we had thought we must drop as we grew up,little noises we dared not laugh at,faces we made when no one was looking. But he wishes us more than this. To be freeis often to be lonely. He would unitethe unequal moieties fracturedby our own well-meaning sense of justice, would restore to the larger the wit and willthe smaller possesses but can only usefor arid disputes, would give back tothe son the mother's richness of feeling: but he would have us remember most of allto be enthusiastic over the night,not only for the sense of wonderit alone has to offer, but also because it needs our love. With large sad eyesits delectable creatures look up and begus dumbly to ask them to follow:they are exiles who long for the future that lives in our power, they too would rejoiceif allowed to serve enlightenment like him,even to bear our cry of 'Judas',as he did and all must bear who serve it. One rational voice is dumb. Over his gravethe household of Impulse mourns one dearly loved:sad is Eros, builder of cities,and weeping anarchic Aphrodite.
|