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Best Famous Punch Poems

Here is a collection of the all-time best famous Punch poems. This is a select list of the best famous Punch poetry. Reading, writing, and enjoying famous Punch poetry (as well as classical and contemporary poems) is a great past time. These top poems are the best examples of punch poems.

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Written by Muhammad Ali | Create an image from this poem

Clay comes out to meet Liston

Clay comes out to meet Liston 
and Liston starts to retreat, 
if Liston goes back an inch farther 
he'll end up in a ringside seat. 
Clay swings with his left, 
Clay swings with his right, 
Look at young Cassius 
carry the fight 
Liston keeps backing, but there's not enough room, 
It's a matter of time till Clay lowers the boom. 
Now Clay lands with a right, 
What a beautiful swing, 
and the punch raises the Bear 
clean out of the ring. 
Liston is still rising and the ref wears a frown, 
For he can't start counting 
till Sonny goes down. 
Now Liston is disappearing from view, 
The crowd is going frantic, 
But radar stations have picked him up, 
Somewhere over the Atlantic. 
Who would have thought 
when they came to the fight? 
That they'd witness the launching 
of a human satellite. 
Yes the crowd did not dream, 
when they put up the money, 
That they would see 
a total eclipse of the Sonny. 

Muhammad Ali Quotes Poems

Ding! Ali comes out to meet Frazier 
But Frazier starts to retreat 
If Frazier goes back any further 
He'll wind up in a ringside seat 

Ali swings to the left 
Ali swings to the right 
Look at the kid 
Carry the fight 

Frazier keeps backing 
But there's not enough room 
It's a matter of time 
Then Ali lowers the boom 

Now Ali lands to the right 
What a beautiful swing! 
And deposits Frazier 
Clean out of the ring 

Frazier's still rising 
But the referee wears a frown 
For he can't start counting 
Till Frazier comes down 

Now Frazier disappears from view 
The crowd is getting frantic 
But our radar stations have picked him up 
He's somewhere over the Atlantic 

Who would have thought that 
When they came to the fight 
That they would have witnessed 
The launching of a coloured satellite! 


Written by Muhammad Ali | Create an image from this poem

This is the legend of Cassius Clay

This is the legend of Cassius Clay,
The most beautiful fighter in the world today.
He talks a great deal, and brags indeed-y,
Of a muscular punch that's incredibly speed-y.
The fistic world was dull and weary,
but with a champ like Liston, things had to be dreary.
Then someone with color and someone with dash, 
brought fight fans are runnin' with Cash.
This brash young boxer is something to see 
and the heavyweight championship is his destiny.
This kid's got a left, this kid's got a right, 
if he hit you once, you're asleep for the night. 

This is the legend of Muhammad Ali, 
The greatest fighter that ever will be. 
He talks a great deal and brags, indeed. 
Of a powerful punch and blinding speed. 
Ali fights great, he's got speed and endurance. 
If you sign to fight him, increase your insurance. 
Ali's got a left, Ali's got a right; 
If he hits you once, you're asleep for the night 
Written by Tony Hoagland | Create an image from this poem

Why the Young Men Are So Ugly

 They have little tractors in their blood
and all day the tractors climb up and down
inside their arms and legs, their
collarbones and heads.

That is why they yell and scream and slam the barbells
down into their clanking slots,
making the metal ring like sledgehammers on iron,
like dungeon prisoners rattling their chains.

That is why they shriek their tires at the stopsign,
why they turn the base up on the stereo
until it shakes the traffic light, until it
dryhumps the eardrum of the crossing guard.

Testosterone is a drug,
and they say No, No, No until
they are overwhelmed and punch
their buddy in the face for joy,

or make a joke about gravy and bottomless holes
to a middle-aged waitress who is gently
setting down the plate in front of them.

If they are grotesque, if
what they say and do is often nothing more
than a kind of psychopathic fart,

it is only because of the tractors,
the tractors in their blood,
revving their engines, chewing up the turf
inside their arteries and veins
It is the testosterone tractor

constantly climbing the mudhill of the world
and dragging the young man behind it
by a chain around his leg.
In the stink and the noise, in the clouds
of filthy exhaust

is where they live. It is the tractors
that make them
what they are. While they make being a man
look like a disease.
Written by Anne Sexton | Create an image from this poem

Oh

 It is snowing and death bugs me
as stubborn as insomnia.
The fierce bubbles of chalk,
the little white lesions
settle on the street outside.
It is snowing and the ninety
year old woman who was combing
out her long white wraith hair
is gone, embalmed even now,
even tonight her arms are smooth
muskets at her side and nothing
issues from her but her last word - "Oh." Surprised by death.

It is snowing. Paper spots
are falling from the punch.
Hello? Mrs. Death is here!
She suffers according to the digits
of my hate. I hear the filaments
of alabaster. I would lie down
with them and lift my madness
off like a wig. I would lie
outside in a room of wool
and let the snow cover me.
Paris white or flake white
or argentine, all in the washbasin
of my mouth, calling, "Oh."
I am empty. I am witless.
Death is here. There is no
other settlement. Snow!
See the mark, the pock, the pock!

Meanwhile you pour tea
with your handsome gentle hands.
Then you deliberately take your
forefinger and point it at my temple,
saying, "You suicide *****!
I'd like to take a corkscrew
and screw out all your brains
and you'd never be back ever."
And I close my eyes over the steaming
tea and see God opening His teeth.
"Oh." He says.
I see the child in me writing, "Oh."
Oh, my dear, not why.
Written by Rg Gregory | Create an image from this poem

the rest home

 professor piebald
(the oldest man in the home) was meek
at the same time ribald
he clothed his matter (so to speak)
in latin and (was it) greek
it caused no great offence
to nobody did it make sense
to make a rude joke
in languages nobody spoke

once he'd changed the word agenda
at a home's committee meeting to pudenda
this sort of thing was tolerated by the other
inmates (except his younger brother -
a dustman all his life
who'd robbed the professor of his wife
and treated him now with disdainful anger
but to everyone piebald was a stranger)
well agenda/pudenda hardly ranked as humour
but there was rumour
piebald was said to have his eye on
nelly (frail and pretty in a feathery fashion
the sort perhaps to rouse a meek man's passion)
she wouldn't talk to him without a tie on

one such occasion burst the bubble
he spoke (no tie on) she demurred
refusing one further word
and so the trouble
piebald went white all over
muttered about being her lover
then shouted in a rage
(nelly whispered be your age)
i - two headed janus -
now pingo your anus
(less janus - i should have thought - than mars)
and pinched the dear frail lady on the ****
who died a second then exploded
swung a punch so loaded
poor old piebald eared it to the floor
the other old ones in the room
(more excited now than when the flowers came out in bloom)
were rushing pushing to the door

the brother stood across the fallen man
in total icy disdain
you academic lily-livered piss of a gnat
he hissed - and spat
into the piebald twitching face
drew back a pace
when wham - a seething body like a flung cat
lifted upwards into space

the younger brother was butted in the belly
(who staggered back hit head and made a dying fall
leaving a small red zigzag down the wall)
then this sizzling flesh-ball
fell on fluttering nelly
tore at her skirt
ripped other clothes apart
began kissing her fervently on her agenda
te amo te amo te amo te amo
(repeating it as though
it was the finest latin phrase he'd learned by heart)
crying abasing himself to her most wanted gender

she more dazed than hurt
clutching the virgin fragments of her skirt
a simpering victim in the rising clamour
old people now outraged beyond controlling
through the swing doors pushing tumbling rolling
armed with saucepans pokers knives
playing the greatest game in all their lives
attacked without compunction
the frenzied lover at his unction
a poker struck him once across the head
and professor piebald
once meek but ribald
dropped down undoubtedly dead

and even when the horror had subsided
and the arms of justice with their maker were abided
nelly stood rocking in her room
weeping for the heart-ache in her womb
that till then had hardly ever fluttered
and (only occasionally) muttered
if you have your eye on
me - my dear man - put your tie on

the home itself was closed a few days after
the house is riddled still by ribald laughter


Written by Oliver Wendell Holmes | Create an image from this poem

The Flaâneur

 I love all sights of earth and skies, 
From flowers that glow to stars that shine; 
The comet and the penny show, 
All curious things, above, below, 
Hold each in turn my wandering eyes: 
I claim the Christian Pagan's line, 
Humani nihil, -- even so, -- 
And is not human life divine? 
When soft the western breezes blow, 
And strolling youths meet sauntering maids, 
I love to watch the stirring trades 
Beneath the Vallombrosa shades 
Our much-enduring elms bestow; 
The vender and his rhetoric's flow, 
That lambent stream of liquid lies; 
The bait he dangles from his line, 
The gudgeon and his gold-washed prize. 
I halt before the blazoned sign 
That bids me linger to admire 
The drama time can never tire, 
The little hero of the hunch, 
With iron arm and soul of fire, 
And will that works his fierce desire, -- 
Untamed, unscared, unconquered Punch! 
My ear a pleasing torture finds 
In tones the withered sibyl grinds, -- 
The dame sans merci's broken strain, 
Whom I erewhile, perchance, have known, 
When Orleans filled the Bourbon throne, 
A siren singing by the Seine. 

But most I love the tube that spies 
The orbs celestial in their march; 
That shows the comet as it whisks 
Its tail across the planets' disks, 
As if to blind their blood-shot eyes; 
Or wheels so close against the sun 
We tremble at the thought of risks 
Our little spinning ball may run, 
To pop like corn that children parch, 
From summer something overdone, 
And roll, a cinder, through the skies. 

Grudge not to-day the scanty fee 
To him who farms the firmament, 
To whom the Milky Way is free; 
Who holds the wondrous crystal key, 
The silent Open Sesame 
That Science to her sons has lent; 
Who takes his toll, and lifts the bar 
That shuts the road to sun and star. 
If Venus only comes to time, 
(And prophets say she must and shall,) 
To-day will hear the tinkling chime 
Of many a ringing silver dime, 
For him whose optic glass supplies 
The crowd with astronomic eyes, -- 
The Galileo of the Mall. 

Dimly the transit morning broke; 
The sun seemed doubting what to do, 
As one who questions how to dress, 
And takes his doublets from the press, 
And halts between the old and new. 
Please Heaven he wear his suit of blue, 
Or don, at least, his ragged cloak, 
With rents that show the azure through! 

I go the patient crowd to join 
That round the tube my eyes discern, 
The last new-comer of the file, 
And wait, and wait, a weary while, 
And gape, and stretch, and shrug, and smile, 
(For each his place must fairly earn, 
Hindmost and foremost, in his turn,) 
Till hitching onward, pace by pace, 
I gain at last the envied place, 
And pay the white exiguous coin: 
The sun and I are face to face; 
He glares at me, I stare at him; 
And lo! my straining eye has found 
A little spot that, black and round, 
Lies near the crimsoned fire-orb's rim. 
O blessed, beauteous evening star, 
Well named for her whom earth adores, -- 
The Lady of the dove-drawn car, -- 
I know thee in thy white simar; 
But veiled in black, a rayless spot, 
Blank as a careless scribbler's blot, 
Stripped of thy robe of silvery flame, -- 
The stolen robe that Night restores 
When Day has shut his golden doors, -- 
I see thee, yet I know thee not; 
And canst thou call thyself the same? 

A black, round spot, -- and that is all; 
And such a speck our earth would be 
If he who looks upon the stars 
Through the red atmosphere of Mars 
Could see our little creeping ball 
Across the disk of crimson crawl 
As I our sister planet see. 

And art thou, then, a world like ours, 
Flung from the orb that whirled our own 
A molten pebble from its zone? 
How must thy burning sands absorb 
The fire-waves of the blazing orb, 
Thy chain so short, thy path so near, 
Thy flame-defying creatures hear 
The maelstroms of the photosphere! 
And is thy bosom decked with flowers 
That steal their bloom from scalding showers? 
And hast thou cities, domes, and towers, 
And life, and love that makes it dear, 
And death that fills thy tribes with fear? 


Lost in my dream, my spirit soars 
Through paths the wandering angels know; 
My all-pervading thought explores 
The azure ocean's lucent shores; 
I leave my mortal self below, 
As up the star-lit stairs I climb, 
And still the widening view reveals 
In endless rounds the circling wheels 
That build the horologe of time. 
New spheres, new suns, new systems gleam; 
The voice no earth-born echo hears 
Steals softly on my ravished ears: 
I hear them "singing as they shine" -- 
A mortal's voice dissolves my dream: 
My patient neighbor, next in line, 
Hints gently there are those who wait. 
O guardian of the starry gate, 
What coin shall pay this debt of mine? 
Too slight thy claim, too small the fee 
That bids thee turn the potent key 
The Tuscan's hand has placed in thine. 
Forgive my own the small affront, 
The insult of the proffered dime; 
Take it, O friend, since this thy wont, 
But still shall faithful memory be 
A bankrupt debtor unto thee, 
And pay thee with a grateful rhyme.
Written by Robert William Service | Create an image from this poem

Carry On

 It's easy to fight when everything's right,
 And you're mad with the thrill and the glory;
It's easy to cheer when victory's near,
 And wallow in fields that are gory.
It's a different song when everything's wrong,
 When you're feeling infernally mortal;
When it's ten against one, and hope there is none,
 Buck up, little soldier, and chortle:

Carry on! Carry on!
There isn't much punch in your blow.
You're glaring and staring and hitting out blind;
You're muddy and bloody, but never you mind.
Carry on! Carry on!
You haven't the ghost of a show.
It's looking like death, but while you've a breath,
Carry on, my son! Carry on!

And so in the strife of the battle of life
 It's easy to fight when you're winning;
It's easy to slave, and starve and be brave,
 When the dawn of success is beginning.
But the man who can meet despair and defeat
 With a cheer, there's the man of God's choosing;
The man who can fight to Heaven's own height
 Is the man who can fight when he's losing.

Carry on! Carry on!
Things never were looming so black.
But show that you haven't a cowardly streak,
And though you're unlucky you never are weak.
Carry on! Carry on!
Brace up for another attack.
It's looking like hell, but -- you never can tell:
Carry on, old man! Carry on!

There are some who drift out in the deserts of doubt,
 And some who in brutishness wallow;
There are others, I know, who in piety go
 Because of a Heaven to follow.
But to labour with zest, and to give of your best,
 For the sweetness and joy of the giving;
To help folks along with a hand and a song;
 Why, there's the real sunshine of living.

Carry on! Carry on!
Fight the good fight and true;
Believe in your mission, greet life with a cheer;
There's big work to do, and that's why you are here.
Carry on! Carry on!
Let the world be the better for you;
And at last when you die, let this be your cry:
Carry on, my soul! Carry on!
Written by Nazim Hikmet | Create an image from this poem

A Spring Piece Left In The Middle

 Taut, thick fingers punch
the teeth of my typewriter.
Three words are down on paper
 in capitals:
SPRING
 SPRING
 SPRING...
And me -- poet, proofreader,
the man who's forced to read
two thousand bad lines
 every day
 for two liras--
why,
 since spring
 has come, am I
 still sitting here
 like a ragged 
 black chair?
My head puts on its cap by itself,
 I fly out of the printer's,
 I'm on the street.
The lead dirt of the composing room
 on my face,
seventy-five cents in my pocket.
 SPRING IN THE AIR...

In the barbershops
 they're powdering
 the sallow cheeks
 of the pariah of Publishers Row.
And in the store windows
 three-color bookcovers
 flash like sunstruck mirrors.
But me,
I don't have even a book of ABC's
that lives on this street
and carries my name on its door!
But what the hell...
I don't look back,
the lead dirt of the composing room
 on my face,
seventy-five cents in my pocket,
 SPRING IN THE AIR...

 *

The piece got left in the middle.
It rained and swamped the lines.
But oh! what I would have written...
The starving writer sitting on his three-thousand-page
 three-volume manuscript
wouldn't stare at the window of the kebab joint
but with his shining eyes would take
the Armenian bookseller's dark plump daughter by storm...
The sea would start smelling sweet.
Spring would rear up
 like a sweating red mare
and, leaping onto its bare back,
 I'd ride it
 into the water.
Then
 my typewriter would follow me
 every step of the way.
I'd say:
 "Oh, don't do it!
 Leave me alone for an hour..."
then
my head-my hair failing out--
 would shout into the distance:
 "I AM IN LOVE..."

 *

I'm twenty-seven,
she's seventeen.
"Blind Cupid,
lame Cupid,
both blind and lame Cupid
said, Love this girl,"
 I was going to write;
 I couldn't say it
 but still can!
But if
 it rained,
if the lines I wrote got swamped,
if I have twenty-five cents left in my pocket,
 what the hell...
Hey, spring is here spring is here spring
 spring is here!
My blood is budding inside me!


 20 and 21 April 1929
Written by Charles Bukowski | Create an image from this poem

Gamblers All

 sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, 
I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside 
remembering all the times you've felt that way, and 
you walk to the bathroom, do your toilet, see that face 
in the mirror, oh my oh my oh my, but you comb your hair anyway, 
get into your street clothes, feed the cats, fetch the 
newspaper of horror, place it on the coffee table, kiss your 
wife goodbye, and then you are backing the car out into life itself, 
like millions of others you enter the arena once more. 

you are on the freeway threading through traffic now, 
moving both towards something and towards nothing at all as you punch 
the radio on and get Mozart, which is something, and you will somehow 
get through the slow days and the busy days and the dull 
days and the hateful days and the rare days, all both so delightful 
and so disappointing because 
we are all so alike and so different. 

you find the turn-off, drive through the most dangerous 
part of town, feel momentarily wonderful as Mozart works 
his way into your brain and slides down along your bones and 
out through your shoes. 

it's been a tough fight worth fighting 
as we all drive along 
betting on another day.
Written by Oliver Wendell Holmes | Create an image from this poem

The Dorchester Giant

 THERE was a giant in time of old,
A mighty one was he; 
He had a wife, but she was a scold, 
So he kept her shut in his mammoth fold;
And he had children three.

It happened to be an election day,
And the giants were choosing a king; 
The people were not democrats then, 
They did not talk of the rights of men, 
And all that sort of thing.

Then the giant took his children three,
And fastened them in the pen;
The children roared; quoth the giant, "Be still!"
And Dorchester Heights and Milton Hill 
Rolled back the sound again.

Then he brought them a pudding stuffed with plums,
As big as the State-House dome;
Quoth he, "There's something for you to eat; 
So stop your mouths with your 'lection treat,
And wait till your dad comes home." 

So the giant pulled him a chestnut stout, 
And whittled the boughs away; 
The boys and their mother set up a shout. 
Said he, "You're in, and you can't get out, 
Bellow as loud as you may." 

Off he went, and he growled a tune 
As he strode the fields along 
'Tis said a buffalo fainted away, 
And fell as cold as a lump of clay, 
When he heard the giant's song.

But whether the story's true or not, 
It isn't for me to show;
There's many a thing that's twice as ***** 
In somebody's lectures that we hear, 
And those are true, you know.

. . . . . .

What are those lone ones doing now, 
The wife and the children sad? 
Oh, they are in a terrible rout, 
Screaming, and throwing their pudding about,
Acting as they were mad.

They flung it over to Roxbury hills, 
They flung it over the plain, 
And all over Milton and Dorchester too 
Great lumps of pudding the giants threw; 
They tumbled as thick as rain.

. . . . .

Giant and mammoth have passed away, 
For ages have floated by; 
The suet is hard as a marrow-bone, 
And every plum is turned to a stone, 
But there the puddings lie. 

And if, some pleasant afternoon, 
You'll ask me out to ride, 
The whole of the story I will tell,
And you shall see where the puddings fell, 
And pay for the punch beside.

Book: Reflection on the Important Things