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Best Famous Potty Poems

Here is a collection of the all-time best famous Potty poems. This is a select list of the best famous Potty poetry. Reading, writing, and enjoying famous Potty poetry (as well as classical and contemporary poems) is a great past time. These top poems are the best examples of potty poems.

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Written by Edward Taylor | Create an image from this poem

Like A Scarf

 The directions to the lunatic asylum were confusing,
more likely they were the random associations
and confused ramblings of a lunatic.
We arrived three hours late for lunch and the lunatics were stacked up on their shelves, quite neatly, I might add, giving credit where credit is due.
The orderlies were clearly very orderly, and they should receive all the credit that is their due.
When I asked one of the doctors for a corkscrew he produced one without a moment's hesitation.
And it was a corkscrew of the finest craftsmanship, very shiny and bright not unlike the doctor himself.
"We'll be conducting our picnic under the great oak beginning in just a few minutes, and if you'd care to join us we'd be most honored.
However, I understand you have your obligations and responsibilities, and if you would prefer to simply visit with us from time to time, between patients, our invitation is nothing if not flexible.
And, we shan't be the least slighted or offended in any way if, due to your heavy load, we are altogether deprived of the pleasure of exchanging a few anecdotes, regarding the mentally ill, depraved, diseased, the purely knavish, you in your bughouse, if you'll pardon my vernacular, O yes, and we in our crackbrain daily rounds, there are so many gone potty everywhere we roam, not to mention in one's own home, dead moonstruck.
Well, well, indeed we would have many notes to compare if you could find the time to join us after your injections.
" My invitation was spoken in the evenest tones, but midway though it I began to suspect I was addressing an imposter.
I returned the corkscrew in a nonthreatening manner.
What, for instance, I asked myself, would a doctor, a doctor of the mind, be doing with a cordscrew in his pocket? This was a very sick man, one might even say dangerous.
I began moving away cautiously, never taking my eyes off of him.
His right eyelid was twitching guiltily, or at least anxiously, and his smock flapping slightly in the wind.
Several members of our party were mingling with the nurses down by the duck pond, and my grip on the situation was loosening, the planks in my picnic platform were rotting.
I was thinking about the potato salad in an unstable environment.
A weeping spell was about to overtake me.
I was very close to howling and gnashing the gladiola.
I noticed the great calm of the clouds overhead.
And below, several nurses appeared to me in need of nursing.
The psychopaths were stirring from their naps, I should say, their postprandial slumbers.
They were lumbering through the pines like inordinately sad moose.
Who could eat liverwurst at a time like this? But, then again, what's a picnic without pathos? Lacking a way home, I adjusted the flap in my head and duck-walked down to the pond and into the pond and began gliding around in circles, quacking, quacking like a scarf.
Inside the belly of that image I began recycling like a sorry whim, sincerest regrets are always best.


Written by James Tate | Create an image from this poem

Like A Scarf

 The directions to the lunatic asylum were confusing,
more likely they were the random associations
and confused ramblings of a lunatic.
We arrived three hours late for lunch and the lunatics were stacked up on their shelves, quite neatly, I might add, giving credit where credit is due.
The orderlies were clearly very orderly, and they should receive all the credit that is their due.
When I asked one of the doctors for a corkscrew he produced one without a moment's hesitation.
And it was a corkscrew of the finest craftsmanship, very shiny and bright not unlike the doctor himself.
"We'll be conducting our picnic under the great oak beginning in just a few minutes, and if you'd care to join us we'd be most honored.
However, I understand you have your obligations and responsibilities, and if you would prefer to simply visit with us from time to time, between patients, our invitation is nothing if not flexible.
And, we shan't be the least slighted or offended in any way if, due to your heavy load, we are altogether deprived of the pleasure of exchanging a few anecdotes, regarding the mentally ill, depraved, diseased, the purely knavish, you in your bughouse, if you'll pardon my vernacular, O yes, and we in our crackbrain daily rounds, there are so many gone potty everywhere we roam, not to mention in one's own home, dead moonstruck.
Well, well, indeed we would have many notes to compare if you could find the time to join us after your injections.
" My invitation was spoken in the evenest tones, but midway though it I began to suspect I was addressing an imposter.
I returned the corkscrew in a nonthreatening manner.
What, for instance, I asked myself, would a doctor, a doctor of the mind, be doing with a cordscrew in his pocket? This was a very sick man, one might even say dangerous.
I began moving away cautiously, never taking my eyes off of him.
His right eyelid was twitching guiltily, or at least anxiously, and his smock flapping slightly in the wind.
Several members of our party were mingling with the nurses down by the duck pond, and my grip on the situation was loosening, the planks in my picnic platform were rotting.
I was thinking about the potato salad in an unstable environment.
A weeping spell was about to overtake me.
I was very close to howling and gnashing the gladiola.
I noticed the great calm of the clouds overhead.
And below, several nurses appeared to me in need of nursing.
The psychopaths were stirring from their naps, I should say, their postprandial slumbers.
They were lumbering through the pines like inordinately sad moose.
Who could eat liverwurst at a time like this? But, then again, what's a picnic without pathos? Lacking a way home, I adjusted the flap in my head and duck-walked down to the pond and into the pond and began gliding around in circles, quacking, quacking like a scarf.
Inside the belly of that image I began recycling like a sorry whim, sincerest regrets are always best.
Written by Anne Sexton | Create an image from this poem

Cripples And Other Stories

 My doctor, the comedian
I called you every time
and made you laugh yourself
when I wrote this silly rhyme.
.
.
Each time I give lectures or gather in the grants you send me off to boarding school in training pants.
God damn it, father-doctor, I'm really thirty-six.
I see dead rats in the toilet.
I'm one of the lunatics.
Disgusted, mother put me on the potty.
She was good at this.
My father was fat on scotch.
It leaked from every orifice.
Oh the enemas of childhood, reeking of outhouses and shame! Yet you rock me in your arms and whisper my nickname.
Or else you hold my hand and teach me love too late.
And that's the hand of the arm they tried to amputate.
Though I was almost seven I was an awful brat.
I put it in the Easy Wringer.
It came out nice and flat.
I was an instant cripple from my finger to my shoulder.
The laundress wept and swooned.
My mother had to hold her.
I know I was a cripple.
Of course, I'd known it from the start.
My father took the crowbar and broke the wringer's heart.
The surgeons shook their heads.
They really didn't know-- Would the cripple inside of me be a cripple that would show? My father was a perfect man, clean and rich and fat.
My mother was a brilliant thing.
She was good at that.
You hold me in your arms.
How strange that you're so tender! Child-woman that I am, you think that you can mend her.
As for the arm, unfortunately it grew.
Though mother said a withered arm would put me in Who's Who.
For years she has described it.
She sang it like a hymn.
By then she loved the shrunken thing, my little withered limb.
My father's cells clicked each night, intent on making money.
And as for my cells, they brooded, little queens, on honey.
Oh boys too, as a matter of fact, and cigarettes and cars.
Mother frowned at my wasted life.
My father smoked cigars.
My cheeks blossomed with maggots.
I picked at them like pearls.
I covered them with pancake.
I wound my hair in curls.
My father didn't know me but you kiss me in my fever.
My mother knew me twice and then I had to leave her.
But those are just two stories and I have more to tell from the outhouse, the greenhouse where you draw me out of hell.
Father, I am thirty-six, yet I lie here in your crib.
I'm getting born again, Adam, as you prod me with your rib.

Book: Reflection on the Important Things