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Best Famous Offends Poems

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Written by Margaret Atwood | Create an image from this poem

The City Planners

 Cruising these residential Sunday
streets in dry August sunlight:
what offends us is
the sanities:
the houses in pedantic rows, the planted
sanitary trees, assert
levelness of surface like a rebuke
to the dent in our car door.
No shouting here, or
shatter of glass; nothing more abrupt
than the rational whine of a power mower
cutting a straight swath in the discouraged grass.

But though the driveways neatly
sidestep hysteria
by being even, the roofs all display
the same slant of avoidance to the hot sky,
certain things:
the smell of spilled oil a faint
sickness lingering in the garages,
a splash of paint on brick surprising as a bruise,
a plastic hose poised in a vicious
coil; even the too-fixed stare of the wide windows


give momentary access to
the landscape behind or under
the future cracks in the plaster


when the houses, capsized, will slide
obliquely into the clay seas, gradual as glaciers
that right now nobody notices.


That is where the City Planners
with the insane faces of political conspirators
are scattered over unsurveyed
territories, concealed from each other,
each in his own private blizzard;


guessing directions, they sketch
transitory lines rigid as wooden borders
on a wall in the white vanishing air


tracing the panic of suburb
order in a bland madness of snows


Written by Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz | Create an image from this poem

You Men

(Español)
Hombres necios que acusáis
a la mujer sin razón,
sin ver que sois la ocasión
de lo mismo que culpáis:

si con ansia sin igual
solicitáis su desdén,
¿por qué quereis que obren bien
si las incitáis al mal?

Combatís su resistencia
y luego, con gravedad,
decís que fue liviandad
lo que hizo la diligencia.

Parecer quiere el denuedo
de vuestro parecer loco,
al niño que pone el coco
y luego le tiene miedo.

Queréis, con presunción necia,
hallar a la que buscáis,
para pretendida, Thais,
y en la posesión, Lucrecia

¿Qué humor puede ser más raro
que el que, falto de consejo,
el mismo empaña el espejo
y siente que no esté claro?

Con el favor y el desdén
tenéis condición igual,
quejándoos, si os tratan mal,
burlándoos, si os quieren bien.

Opinión, ninguna gana:
pues la que más se recata,
si no os admite, es ingrata,
y si os admite, es liviana

Siempre tan necios andáis
que, con desigual nivel,
a una culpáis por crüel
y a otra por fácil culpáis.

¿Pues cómo ha de estar templada
la que vuestro amor pretende,
si la que es ingrata, ofende,
y la que es fácil, enfada?

Mas, entre el enfado y pena
que vuestro gusto refiere,
bien haya la que no os quiere
y quejaos en hora buena.

Dan vuestras amantes penas
a sus libertades alas,
y después de hacerlas malas
las queréis hallar muy buenas.

¿Cuál mayor culpa ha tenido
en una pasión errada:
la que cae de rogada
o el que ruega de caído?

¿O cuál es más de culpar,
aunque cualquiera mal haga:
la que peca por la paga
o el que paga por pecar?

Pues ¿para quée os espantáis
de la culpa que tenéis?
Queredlas cual las hacéis
o hacedlas cual las buscáis.

Dejad de solicitar,
y después, con más razón,
acusaréis la afición
de la que os fuere a rogar.

Bien con muchas armas fundo
que lidia vuestra arrogancia,
pues en promesa e instancia
juntáis diablo, carne y mundo.

(English)
Silly, you men-so very adept
at wrongly faulting womankind,
not seeing you're alone to blame
for faults you plant in woman's mind.

After you've won by urgent plea
the right to tarnish her good name,
you still expect her to behave--
you, that coaxed her into shame.

You batter her resistance down
and then, all righteousness, proclaim
that feminine frivolity,
not your persistence, is to blame.

When it comes to bravely posturing,
your witlessness must take the prize:
you're the child that makes a bogeyman,
and then recoils in fear and cries.

Presumptuous beyond belief,
you'd have the woman you pursue
be Thais when you're courting her,
Lucretia once she falls to you.

For plain default of common sense,
could any action be so *****
as oneself to cloud the mirror,
then complain that it's not clear?

Whether you're favored or disdained,
nothing can leave you satisfied.
You whimper if you're turned away,
you sneer if you've been gratified.

With you, no woman can hope to score;
whichever way, she's bound to lose;
spurning you, she's ungrateful--
succumbing, you call her lewd.

Your folly is always the same:
you apply a single rule
to the one you accuse of looseness
and the one you brand as cruel.

What happy mean could there be
for the woman who catches your eye,
if, unresponsive, she offends,
yet whose complaisance you decry?

Still, whether it's torment or anger--
and both ways you've yourselves to blame--
God bless the woman who won't have you,
no matter how loud you complain.

It's your persistent entreaties
that change her from timid to bold.
Having made her thereby naughty,
you would have her good as gold.

So where does the greater guilt lie
for a passion that should not be:
with the man who pleads out of baseness
or the woman debased by his plea?

Or which is more to be blamed--
though both will have cause for chagrin:
the woman who sins for money
or the man who pays money to sin?

So why are you men all so stunned
at the thought you're all guilty alike?
Either like them for what you've made them
or make of them what you can like.

If you'd give up pursuing them,
you'd discover, without a doubt,
you've a stronger case to make
against those who seek you out.

I well know what powerful arms
you wield in pressing for evil:
your arrogance is allied
with the world, the flesh, and the devil! 
Written by William Cowper | Create an image from this poem

Prayer for Patience

 Lord, who hast suffer'd all for me,
My peace and pardon to procure,
The lighter cross I bear for Thee,
Help me with patience to endure.

The storm of loud repining hush;
I would in humble silence mourn;
Why should the unburnt, though burning bush,
Be angry as the crackling thorn?

Man should not faint at Thy rebuke,
Like Joshua falling on his face,
When the cursed thing that Achan took
Brought Israel into just disgrace.

Perhaps some golden wedge suppress'd,
Some secret sin offends my God;
Perhaps that Babylonish vest,
Self-righteousness, provokes the rod.

Ah! were I buffeted all day,
Mock'd, crown'd with thorns and spit upon,
I yet should have no right to say,
My great distress is mine alone.

Let me not angrily declare
No pain was ever sharp like mine,
Nor murmur at the cross I bear,
But rather weep, remembering Thine.
Written by Thomas Hardy | Create an image from this poem

The Milkmaid

 Under a daisied bank 
There stands a rich red ruminating cow, 
 And hard against her flank 
A cotton-hooded milkmaid bends her brow. 

 The flowery river-ooze 
Upheaves and falls; the milk purrs in the pail; 
 Few pilgrims but would choose 
The peace of such a life in such a vale. 

 The maid breathes words--to vent, 
It seems, her sense of Nature's scenery, 
 Of whose life, sentiment, 
And essence, very part itself is she. 

 She bends a glance of pain, 
And, at a moment, lets escape a tear; 
 Is it that passing train, 
Whose alien whirr offends her country ear? - 

 Nay! Phyllis does not dwell 
On visual and familiar things like these; 
 What moves her is the spell 
Of inner themes and inner poetries: 

 Could but by Sunday morn 
Her gay new gown come, meads might dry to dun, 
 Trains shriek till ears were torn, 
If Fred would not prefer that Other One.
Written by Alexander Pope | Create an image from this poem

The Rape of the Lock: Canto 2

 Not with more glories, in th' etherial plain, 
The sun first rises o'er the purpled main,
Than, issuing forth, the rival of his beams
Launch'd on the bosom of the silver Thames.
Fair nymphs, and well-dress'd youths around her shone,
But ev'ry eye was fix'd on her alone.
On her white breast a sparkling cross she wore,
Which Jews might kiss, and infidels adore.
Her lively looks a sprightly mind disclose,
Quick as her eyes, and as unfix'd as those:
Favours to none, to all she smiles extends;
Oft she rejects, but never once offends.
Bright as the sun, her eyes the gazers strike,
And, like the sun, they shine on all alike.
Yet graceful ease, and sweetness void of pride,
Might hide her faults, if belles had faults to hide:
If to her share some female errors fall,
Look on her face, and you'll forget 'em all.
This nymph, to the destruction of mankind,
Nourish'd two locks, which graceful hung behind
In equal curls, and well conspir'd to deck
With shining ringlets the smooth iv'ry neck.
Love in these labyrinths his slaves detains,
And mighty hearts are held in slender chains.
With hairy springes we the birds betray,
Slight lines of hair surprise the finney prey,
Fair tresses man's imperial race ensnare,
And beauty draws us with a single hair.
Th' advent'rous baron the bright locks admir'd;
He saw, he wish'd, and to the prize aspir'd.
Resolv'd to win, he meditates the way,
By force to ravish, or by fraud betray;
For when success a lover's toil attends,
Few ask, if fraud or force attain'd his ends.
For this, ere Phœbus rose, he had implor'd
Propitious Heav'n, and ev'ry pow'r ador'd,
But chiefly love--to love an altar built,
Of twelve vast French romances, neatly gilt.
There lay three garters, half a pair of gloves;
And all the trophies of his former loves;
With tender billet-doux he lights the pyre,
And breathes three am'rous sighs to raise the fire.
Then prostrate falls, and begs with ardent eyes
Soon to obtain, and long possess the prize:
The pow'rs gave ear, and granted half his pray'r,
The rest, the winds dispers'd in empty air.

But now secure the painted vessel glides,
The sun-beams trembling on the floating tides,
While melting music steals upon the sky,
And soften'd sounds along the waters die.
Smooth flow the waves, the zephyrs gently play,
Belinda smil'd, and all the world was gay.
All but the Sylph--with careful thoughts opprest,
Th' impending woe sat heavy on his breast.
He summons strait his denizens of air;
The lucid squadrons round the sails repair:
Soft o'er the shrouds aerial whispers breathe,
That seem'd but zephyrs to the train beneath.
Some to the sun their insect-wings unfold,
Waft on the breeze, or sink in clouds of gold.
Transparent forms, too fine for mortal sight,
Their fluid bodies half dissolv'd in light,
Loose to the wind their airy garments flew,
Thin glitt'ring textures of the filmy dew;
Dipp'd in the richest tincture of the skies,
Where light disports in ever-mingling dyes,
While ev'ry beam new transient colours flings,
Colours that change whene'er they wave their wings.
Amid the circle, on the gilded mast,
Superior by the head, was Ariel plac'd;
His purple pinions op'ning to the sun,
He rais'd his azure wand, and thus begun.

"Ye Sylphs and Sylphids, to your chief give ear!
Fays, Fairies, Genii, Elves, and Dæmons, hear!
Ye know the spheres and various tasks assign'd
By laws eternal to th' aerial kind.
Some in the fields of purest æther play,
And bask and whiten in the blaze of day.
Some guide the course of wand'ring orbs on high,
Or roll the planets through the boundless sky.
Some less refin'd, beneath the moon's pale light
Pursue the stars that shoot athwart the night,
Or suck the mists in grosser air below,
Or dip their pinions in the painted bow,
Or brew fierce tempests on the wintry main,
Or o'er the glebe distil the kindly rain.
Others on earth o'er human race preside,
Watch all their ways, and all their actions guide:
Of these the chief the care of nations own,
And guard with arms divine the British throne.

"Our humbler province is to tend the fair,
Not a less pleasing, though less glorious care.
To save the powder from too rude a gale,
Nor let th' imprison'd essences exhale,
To draw fresh colours from the vernal flow'rs,
To steal from rainbows e'er they drop in show'rs
A brighter wash; to curl their waving hairs,
Assist their blushes, and inspire their airs;
Nay oft, in dreams, invention we bestow,
To change a flounce, or add a furbelow.


"This day, black omens threat the brightest fair
That e'er deserv'd a watchful spirit's care;
Some dire disaster, or by force, or slight,
But what, or where, the fates have wrapt in night.
Whether the nymph shall break Diana's law,
Or some frail china jar receive a flaw;
Or stain her honour, or her new brocade,
Forget her pray'rs, or miss a masquerade;
Or lose her heart, or necklace, at a ball;
Or whether Heav'n has doom'd that Shock must fall.
Haste, then, ye spirits! to your charge repair:
The flutt'ring fan be Zephyretta's care;
The drops to thee, Brillante, we consign;
And, Momentilla, let the watch be thine;
Do thou, Crispissa, tend her fav'rite lock;
Ariel himself shall be the guard of Shock.
"To fifty chosen Sylphs, of special note,
We trust th' important charge, the petticoat:
Oft have we known that sev'n-fold fence to fail,
Though stiff with hoops, and arm'd with ribs of whale.
Form a strong line about the silver bound,
And guard the wide circumference around.
"Whatever spirit, careless of his charge,
His post neglects, or leaves the fair at large,
Shall feel sharp vengeance soon o'ertake his sins,
Be stopp'd in vials, or transfix'd with pins;
Or plung'd in lakes of bitter washes lie,
Or wedg'd whole ages in a bodkin's eye:
Gums and pomatums shall his flight restrain,
While clogg'd he beats his silken wings in vain;
Or alum styptics with contracting pow'r
Shrink his thin essence like a rivell'd flow'r.
Or, as Ixion fix'd, the wretch shall feel
The giddy motion of the whirling mill,
In fumes of burning chocolate shall glow,
And tremble at the sea that froths below!"
He spoke; the spirits from the sails descend;
Some, orb in orb, around the nymph extend,
Some thrid the mazy ringlets of her hair,
Some hang upon the pendants of her ear;
With beating hearts the dire event they wait,
Anxious, and trembling for the birth of fate.


Written by Francesco Petrarch | Create an image from this poem

Canzone IV

CANZONE IV.

Si è debile il filo a cui s' attene.

HE GRIEVES IN ABSENCE FROM LAURA.

The thread on which my weary life dependsSo fragile is and weak,If none kind succour lends,Soon 'neath the painful burden will it break;Since doom'd to take my sad farewell of her,In whom begins and endsMy bliss, one hope, to stirMy sinking spirit from its black despair,Whispers, "Though lost awhileThat form so dear and fair,Sad soul! the trial bear,For thee e'en yet the sun may brightly shine,And days more happy smile,Once more the lost loved treasure may be thine."This thought awhile sustains me, but againTo fail me and forsake in worse excess of pain.
Time flies apace: the silent hours and swiftSo urge his journey on,Short span to me is leftEven to think how quick to death I run;Scarce, in the orient heaven, yon mountain crestSmiles in the sun's first ray,When, in the adverse west,His long round run, we see his light decay[Pg 41]So small of life the space,So frail and clogg'd with woe,To mortal man below,That, when I find me from that beauteous faceThus torn by fate's decree,Unable at a wish with her to be,So poor the profit that old comforts give,I know not how I brook in such a state to live.
Each place offends, save where alone I seeThose eyes so sweet and bright,Which still shall bear the keyOf the soft thoughts I hide from other sight;And, though hard exile harder weighs on me,Whatever mood betide,I ask no theme beside,For all is hateful that I since have seen.What rivers and what heights,What shores and seas betweenMe rise and those twin lights,Which made the storm and blackness of my daysOne beautiful serene,To which tormented Memory still strays:Free as my life then pass'd from every care,So hard and heavy seems my present lot to bear.
Alas! self-parleying thus, I but renewThe warm wish in my mind,Which first within it grewThe day I left my better half behind:If by long absence love is quench'd, then whoGuides me to the old bait,Whence all my sorrows date?Why rather not my lips in silence seal'd?By finest crystal ne'erWere hidden tints reveal'dSo faithfully and fair,As my sad spirit naked lays and bareIts every secret part,And the wild sweetness thrilling in my heart,Through eyes which, restlessly, o'erfraught with tears,Seek her whose sight alone with instant gladness cheers.
[Pg 42]Strange pleasure!—yet so often that withinThe human heart to reignIs found—to woo and winEach new brief toy that men most sigh to gain:And I am one from sadness who reliefSo draw, as if it stillMy study were to fillThese eyes with softness, and this heart with grief:As weighs with me in chiefNay rather with sole force,The language and the lightOf those dear eyes to urge me on that course,So where its fullest sourceLong sorrow finds, I fix my often sight,And thus my heart and eyes like sufferers be,Which in love's path have been twin pioneers to me.
The golden tresses which should make, I ween,The sun with envy pine;And the sweet look serene,Where love's own rays so bright and burning shine,That, ere its time, they make my strength decline,Each wise and truthful word,Rare in the world, which lateShe smiling gave, no more are seen or heard.But this of all my fateIs hardest to endure,That here I am deniedThe gentle greeting, angel-like and pure,Which still to virtue's sideInclined my heart with modest magic lure;So that, in sooth, I nothing hope againOf comfort more than this, how best to bear my pain.
And—with fit ecstacy my loss to mourn—The soft hand's snowy charm,The finely-rounded arm,The winning ways, by turns, that quiet scorn,Chaste anger, proud humility adorn,The fair young breast that shrinedIntellect pure and high,Are now all hid the rugged Alp behind.My trust were vain to tryAnd see her ere I die,[Pg 43]For, though awhile he dareSuch dreams indulge, Hope ne'er can constant be,But falls back in despairHer, whom Heaven honours, there again to see,Where virtue, courtesy in her best mix,And where so oft I pray my future home to fix.
My Song! if thou shalt see,Our common lady in that dear retreat,We both may hope that sheWill stretch to thee her fair and fav'ring hand,Whence I so far am bann'd;—Touch, touch it not, but, reverent at her feet,Tell her I will be there with earliest speed,A man of flesh and blood, or else a spirit freed.
Macgregor.
Written by John Masefield | Create an image from this poem

The Island of Skyros

 Here, where we stood together, we three men, 
Before the war had swept us to the East 
Three thousand miles away, I stand again 
And hear the bells, and breathe, and go to feast. 
We trod the same path, to the selfsame place, 
Yet here I stand, having beheld their graves, 
Skyros whose shadows the great seas erase, 
And Seddul Bahr that ever more blood craves. 
So, since we communed here, our bones have been 
Nearer, perhaps, than they again will be, 
Earth and the worldwide battle lie between, 
Death lies between, and friend-destroying sea. 
Yet here, a year ago, we talked and stood 
As I stnad now, with pulses beating blood. 

I saw her like a shadow on the sky 
In the last light, a blur upon the sea, 
Then the gale's darkness put the shadow by, 
But from one grave that island talked to me; 
And, in the midnight, in the breaking storm, 
I saw its blackness and a blinking light, 
And thought, "So death obscures your gentle form, 
So memory strives to make the darkness bright; 
And, in that heap of rocks, your body lies, 
Part of the island till the planet ends, 
My gentle comrade, beautiful and wise, 
Part of this crag this bitter surge offends, 
While I, who pass, a little obscure thing, 
War with this force, and breathe, and am its king."
Written by William Cowper | Create an image from this poem

Living and a Dead Faith

 The Lord receives his highest praise
From humble minds and hearts sincere;
While all the loud professor says
Offends the righteous Judge's ear.

To walk as children of the day,
To mark the precepts' holy light,
To wage the warfare, watch, and pray,
Show who are pleasing in His sight.

Not words alone it cost the Lord,
To purchase pardon for His own;
Nor will a soul by grace restored
Return the Saviour words alone.

With golden bells, the priestly vest,
And rich pomegranates border'd round,
The need of holiness expressed,
And called for fruit as well as sound.

Easy indeed it were to reach
A mansion in the courts above,
If swelling words and fluent speech
Might serve instead of faith and love.

But none shall gain the blissful place,
Or God's unclouded glory see,
Who talks of free and sovereign grace,
Unless that grace has made him free!
Written by Anne Kingsmill Finch | Create an image from this poem

The Tradesman and the Scholar

 A Citizen of mighty Pelf, 
But much a Blockhead, in himself 
Disdain'd a Man of shining Parts, 
Master of Sciences and Arts, 
Who left his Book scarce once a day 
For sober Coffee, Smoak, or Tea; 
Nor spent more Money in the Town 
Than bought, when need requir'd, a Gown; 
Which way of Living much offends 
The Alderman, who gets and spends, 
And grudges him the Vital Air, 
Who drives no Trade, and takes no Care. 
Why Bookworm! to him once he cry'd, 
Why, setting thus the World aside, 
Dost thou thy useless Time consume, 
Enclos'd within a lonely Room, 
And poring damnify thy Wit, 
'Till not for Men, or Manners fit ? 
Hop'st thou, with urging of thy Vein, 
To spin a Fortune from thy Brain? 
Or gain a Patron, that shall raise 
Thy solid State, for empty Praise? 
No; trust not to your Soothings vile, 
Receiv'd per me's the only Stile. 
Your Book's but frown'd on by My Lord; 
If Mine's uncross'd, I reach his Board. 

In slighting Yours, he shuts his Hand; 
Protracting Mine, devolves the Land. 
Then let Advantage be the Test, 
Which of us Two ev'n Writes the best. 
Besides, I often Scarlet wear, 
And strut to Church, just next the Mayor. 
Whilst rusty Black, with Inch of Band, 
Is all the Dress you understand; 
Who in the Pulpit thresh to Please, 
Whilst I below can snore at Ease. 
Yet, if you prove me there a Sinner, 
I let you go without a Dinner. 
This Prate was so beneath the Sence 
Of One, who Wisdom cou'd dispense, 
Unheard, or unreturn'd it past: 
But War now lays the City waste, 
And plunder'd Goods profusely fell 
By length of Pike, not length of Ell. 
Abroad th' Inhabitants are forc'd, 
From Shops, and Trade, and Wealth divorc'd. 

The Student leaving but his Book, 
The Tumult of the Place forsook. 
In Foreign Parts, One tells his Tale, 
How Rich he'd been, how quick his Sale, 
Which do's for scanty Alms prevail. 
The Chance of War whilst he deplores, 
And dines at Charitable Doors; 
The Man of Letters, known by Fame, 
Was welcom'd, wheresoe'er he came. 
Still, Potentates entreat his Stay, 
Whose Coaches meet him on the Way: 
And Universities contest 
Which shall exceed, or use him best. 
Amaz'd the Burgomaster sees 
On Foot, and scorn'd such Turns as these; 
And sighing, now deplores too late 
His cumb'rous Trash, and shallow Pate: 
Since loaded but with double Chest 
Of learned Head, and honest Breast, 
The Scholar moves from Place to Place, 
And finds in every Climate Grace. 

Wit and the Arts, on that Foundation rais'd, 
(Howe'er the Vulgar are with Shows amaz'd) 
Is all that recommends, or can be justly prais'd.
Written by Michael Drayton | Create an image from this poem

Sonnet XIII: Letters and Lines

 To the Shadow

Letters and lines we see are soon defac'd, 
Metals do waste and fret with canker's rust, 
The diamond shall once consume to dust, 
And freshest colors with foul stains disgrac'd; 
Paper and ink can paint but naked words, 
To write with blood of force offends the sight; 
And if with tears I find them all too light, 
And sighs and signs a silly hope affotds, 
O sweetest shadow, how thou serv'st my turn, 
Which still shalt be, as long as there is sun, 
Nor, whilst the world is, never shalt be done, 
Whilst moon shall shine or any fire shall burn; 
That everything whence shadow doth proceed 
May in my shadow my love's story read.

Book: Reflection on the Important Things