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Best Famous Moke Poems

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Written by Andrew Barton Paterson | Create an image from this poem

An Idyll of Dandaloo

 On Western plains, where shade is not, 
'Neath summer skies of cloudless blue, 
Where all is dry and all is hot, 
There stands the town of Dandaloo -- 
A township where life's total sum 
Is sleep, diversified with rum. 
Its grass-grown streets with dust are deep; 
'Twere vain endeavour to express 
The dreamless silence of its sleep, 
Its wide, expansive drunkenness. 
The yearly races mostly drew 
A lively crowd at Dandaloo. 

There came a sportsman from the East, 
The eastern land where sportsmen blow, 
And brought with him a speedy beast -- 
A speedy beast as horses go. 
He came afar in hope to "do" 
The little town of Dandaloo. 

Now this was weak of him, I wot -- 
Exceeding weak, it seemed to me -- 
For we in Dandaloo were not 
The Jugginses we seemed to be; 
In fact, we rather thought we knew 
Our book by heart in Dandaloo. 

We held a meeting at the bar, 
And met the question fair and square -- 
"We've stumped the country near and far 
To raise the cash for races here; 
We've got a hundred pounds or two -- 
Not half so bad for Dandaloo. 

"And now, it seems we have to be 
Cleaned out by this here Sydney bloke, 
With his imported horse; and he 
Will scoop the pool and leave us broke. 
Shall we sit still, and make no fuss 
While this chap climbs all over us?" 

* 

The races came to Dandaloo, 
And all the cornstalks from the West 
On every kind of moke and screw 
Come forth in all their glory drest. 
The stranger's horse, as hard as nails, 
Look'd fit to run for New South Wales. 

He won the race by half a length -- 
Quite half a length, it seemed to me -- 
But Dandaloo, with all its strength, 
Roared out "Dead heat!" most fervently; 
And, sfter hesitation meet, 
The judge's verdict was "Dead heat!" 

And many men there were could tell 
What gave the verdict extra force. 
The stewards -- and the judge as well -- 
They all had backed the second horse. 
For things like this they sometimes do 
In larger towns than Dandaloo. 

They ran it off, the stranger won, 
Hands down, by near a hundred yards. 
He smiled to think his troubles done; 
But Dandaloo held all the cards. 
They went to scale and -- cruel fate -- 
His jockey turned out under weight. 

Perhaps they's tampered with the scale! 
I cannot tell. I only know 
It weighed him out all right. I fail 
To paint that Sydney sportsman's woe. 
He said the stewards were a crew 
Of low-lived thieves in Dandaloo. 

He lifted up his voice, irate, 
And swore till all the air was blue; 
So then we rose to vindicate 
The dignity of Dandaloo. 
"Look here," said we, "you must not poke 
Such oaths at us poor country folk." 

We rode him softly on a rail, 
We shied at him, in careless glee, 
Some large tomatoes, rank and stale, 
And eggs of great antiquity -- 
Their wild, unholy fregrance flew 
About the town of Dandaloo. 

He left the town at break of day, 
He led his racehorse through the streets, 
And now he tells the tale, they say, 
To every racing man he meets. 
And Sydney sportsmen all eschew 
The atmosphere of Dandaloo.


Written by Andrew Barton Paterson | Create an image from this poem

The Protest

 I say 'e isn't Remorse! 
'Ow do I know? 
Saw 'im on Riccarton course 
Two year ago! 
Think I'd forget any 'orse? 
Course 'e's The Crow! 
Bumper Maginnis and I 
After a "go", 
Walkin' our 'orses to dry, 
I says "Hello! 
What's that old black goin' by?" 
Bumper says "Oh! 
That's an old cuddy of Flanagan's -- 
Runs as The Crow!" 

Now they make out 'e's Remorse. 
Well, but I know. 
Soon as I came on the course 
I says "'Ello! 
'Ere's the old Crow." 
Once a man's seen any 'orse, 
Course 'e must know. 
Sure as there's wood in this table, 
I say 'e's The Crow. 

(Cross-examied by the Committee.) 
'Ow do I know the moke 
After one sight? 
S'posin' you meet a bloke 
Down town at night, 
Wouldn't you know 'im again when you meet 'im? 
That's 'im all right! 

What was the brand on 'is 'ide? 
I couldn't say, 
Brands can be transmogrified. 
That ain't the way -- 
It's the look of a 'orse and the way that 'e moves 
That I'd know any day. 

What was the boy on 'is back? 
Why, 'e went past 
All of a minute, and off down the track. 
-- "The 'orse went as fast?" 
True, so 'e did! But my eyes, what a treat! 
'Ow can I notice the 'ands and the seat 
Of each bumble-faced kid of a boy that I meet? 
Lor'! What a question to ast! 
(Protest Dismissed)
Written by Andrew Barton Paterson | Create an image from this poem

Father Rileys Horse

 'Twas the horse thief, Andy Regan, that was hunted like a dog 
By the troopers of the upper Murray side, 
They had searched in every gully -- they had looked in every log, 
But never sight or track of him they spied, 
Till the priest at Kiley's Crossing heard a knocking very late 
And a whisper "Father Riley -- come across!" 
So his Rev'rence in pyjamas trotted softly to the gate 
And admitted Andy Regan -- and a horse! 
"Now, it's listen, Father Riley, to the words I've got to say, 
For it's close upon my death I am tonight. 
With the troopers hard behind me I've been hiding all the day 
In the gullies keeping close and out of sight. 
But they're watching all the ranges till there's not a bird could fly, 
And I'm fairly worn to pieces with the strife, 
So I'm taking no more trouble, but I'm going home to die, 
'Tis the only way I see to save my life. 

"Yes, I'm making home to mother's, and I'll die o' Tuesday next 
An' be buried on the Thursday -- and, of course, 
I'm prepared to meet my penance, but with one thing I'm perplexed 
And it's -- Father, it's this jewel of a horse! 
He was never bought nor paid for, and there's not a man can swear 
To his owner or his breeder, but I know, 
That his sire was by Pedantic from the Old Pretender mare 
And his dam was close related to The Roe. 

"And there's nothing in the district that can race him for a step, 
He could canter while they're going at their top: 
He's the king of all the leppers that was ever seen to lep, 
A five-foot fence -- he'd clear it in a hop! 
So I'll leave him with you, Father, till the dead shall rise again, 
Tis yourself that knows a good 'un; and, of course, 
You can say he's got by Moonlight out of Paddy Murphy's plain 
If you're ever asked the breeding of the horse! 

"But it's getting on to daylight and it's time to say goodbye, 
For the stars above the east are growing pale. 
And I'm making home to mother -- and it's hard for me to die! 
But it's harder still, is keeping out of gaol! 
You can ride the old horse over to my grave across the dip 
Where the wattle bloom is waving overhead. 
Sure he'll jump them fences easy -- you must never raise the whip 
Or he'll rush 'em! -- now, goodbye!" and he had fled! 

So they buried Andy Regan, and they buried him to rights, 
In the graveyard at the back of Kiley's Hill; 
There were five-and-twenty mourners who had five-and-twenty fights 
Till the very boldest fighters had their fill. 
There were fifty horses racing from the graveyard to the pub, 
And their riders flogged each other all the while. 
And the lashin's of the liquor! And the lavin's of the grub! 
Oh, poor Andy went to rest in proper style. 

Then the races came to Kiley's -- with a steeplechase and all, 
For the folk were mostly Irish round about, 
And it takes an Irish rider to be fearless of a fall, 
They were training morning in and morning out. 
But they never started training till the sun was on the course 
For a superstitious story kept 'em back, 
That the ghost of Andy Regan on a slashing chestnut horse, 
Had been training by the starlight on the track. 

And they read the nominations for the races with surprise 
And amusement at the Father's little joke, 
For a novice had been entered for the steeplechasing prize, 
And they found it was Father Riley's moke! 
He was neat enough to gallop, he was strong enough to stay! 
But his owner's views of training were immense, 
For the Reverend Father Riley used to ride him every day, 
And he never saw a hurdle nor a fence. 

And the priest would join the laughter: "Oh," said he, "I put him in, 
For there's five-and-twenty sovereigns to be won. 
And the poor would find it useful, if the chestnut chanced to win, 
And he'll maybe win when all is said and done!" 
He had called him Faugh-a-ballagh, which is French for 'Clear the course', 
And his colours were a vivid shade of green: 
All the Dooleys and O'Donnells were on Father Riley's horse, 
While the Orangemen were backing Mandarin! 

It was Hogan, the dog poisoner -- aged man and very wise, 
Who was camping in the racecourse with his swag, 
And who ventured the opinion, to the township's great surprise, 
That the race would go to Father Riley's nag. 
"You can talk about your riders -- and the horse has not been schooled, 
And the fences is terrific, and the rest! 
When the field is fairly going, then ye'll see ye've all been fooled, 
And the chestnut horse will battle with the best. 

"For there's some has got condition, and they think the race is sure, 
And the chestnut horse will fall beneath the weight, 
But the hopes of all the helpless, and the prayers of all the poor, 
Will be running by his side to keep him straight. 
And it's what's the need of schoolin' or of workin' on the track, 
Whin the saints are there to guide him round the course! 
I've prayed him over every fence -- I've prayed him out and back! 
And I'll bet my cash on Father Riley's horse!" 

* 

Oh, the steeple was a caution! They went tearin' round and round, 
And the fences rang and rattled where they struck. 
There was some that cleared the water -- there was more fell in and drowned, 
Some blamed the men and others blamed the luck! 
But the whips were flying freely when the field came into view, 
For the finish down the long green stretch of course, 
And in front of all the flyers -- jumpin' like a kangaroo, 
Came the rank outsider -- Father Riley's horse! 

Oh, the shouting and the cheering as he rattled past the post! 
For he left the others standing, in the straight; 
And the rider -- well they reckoned it was Andy Regan's ghost, 
And it beat 'em how a ghost would draw the weight! 
But he weighed in, nine stone seven, then he laughed and disappeared, 
Like a banshee (which is Spanish for an elf), 
And old Hogan muttered sagely, "If it wasn't for the beard 
They'd be thinking it was Andy Regan's self!" 

And the poor of Kiley's Crossing drank the health at Christmastide 
Of the chestnut and his rider dressed in green. 
There was never such a rider, not since Andy Regan died, 
And they wondered who on earth he could have been. 
But they settled it among 'em, for the story got about, 
'Mongst the bushmen and the people on the course, 
That the Devil had been ordered to let Andy Regan out 
For the steeplechase on Father Riley's horse!
Written by Andrew Barton Paterson | Create an image from this poem

A Disqualified Jockeys Story

 You see, the thing was this way -- there was me, 
That rode Panopply, the Splendor mare, 
And Ikey Chambers on the Iron Dook, 
And Smith, the half-caste rider on Regret, 
And that long bloke from Wagga -- him that rode 
Veronikew, the Snowy River horse. 
Well, none of them had chances -- not a chance 
Among the lot, unless the rest fell dead 
Or wasn't trying -- for a blind man's dog 
Could see Enchantress was a certain cop, 
And all the books was layin' six to four. 
They brought her out to show our lot the road, 
Or so they said: but, then Gord's truth! you know, 
You can believe 'em, though they took an oath 
On forty Bibles that they's tell the truth. 
But anyhow, an amateur was up 
On this Enchantress; and so Ike and me, 
We thought that we might frighten him a bit 
By asking if he minded riding rough -- 
"Oh, not at all," says he, "oh, not at all! 
I heard at Robbo Park, and if it comes 
To bumping I'm your Moses! Strike me blue!" 

Says he, "I'll bump you over either rail, 
The inside rail or outside -- which you choose 
Is good enough for me" -- which settled Ike. 
For he was shaky since he near got killed 
From being sent a buster on the rail, 
When some chap bumped his horse and fetched him down 
At Stony Bridge; so Ikey thought it best 
To leave this bloke alone, and I agreed. 

So all the books was layin' six to four 
Against the favourite, and the amateur 
Was walking this Enchantress up and down, 
And me and Smithy backed him; for we thought 
We might as well get something for ourselves, 
Because we knew our horses couldn't win. 
But Ikey wouldn't back him for a bob; 
Because he said he reckoned he was stiff, 
And all the books was layin' six to four. 

Well, anyhow, before the start the news 
Got around that this here amateur was stiff, 
And our good stuff was blued, and all the books 
Was in it, and the prices lengthened out, 
And every book was bustin' of his throat, 
And layin' five to one the favourite. 
So there was we that couldn't win ourselves, 
And this here amateur that wouldn't try, 
And all the books was layin' five to one. 

So Smithy says to me, "You take a hold 
Of that there moke of yours, and round the turn 
Come up behind Enchantress with the whip 
And let her have it; that long bloke and me 
Will wait ahead, and when she comes to us 
We'll pass her on and belt her down the straight, 
And Ikey'll flog her home -- because his boss 
Is judge and steward and the Lord knows what, 
And so he won't be touched; and, as for us, 
We'll swear we only hit her by mistake!" 
And all the books was layin' five to one. 

Well, off we went, and comin' to the turn 
I saw the amateur was holdinig back 
And poking into every hole he could 
To get her blocked; and so I pulled behind 
And drew the whip and dropped it on the mare. 
I let her have it twice, and then she shot 
Ahead of me, and Smithy opened out 
And let her up beside him on the rails, 
And kept her there a-beltin' her like smoke 
Until she struggled past him, pullin' hard, 
And came to Ike; but Ikey drew his whip 
And hit her on the nose, and sent her back 
And won the race himself -- for, after all, 
It seems he had a fiver on The Dook 
And never told us -- so our stuff was lost. 
And then they had us up for ridin' foul, 
And warned us off the tracks for twelve months each 
To get our livin' any way we could; 
But Ikey wasn't touched, because his boss 
Was judge and steward and the Lord knows what. 

But Mister -- if you'll lend us half-a-crown, 
I know three certain winners at the Park -- 
Three certain cops as no one knows but me; 
And -- thank you, Mister, come an' have a beer 
(I always like a beer about this time) . . . 
Well, so long, Mister, till we meet again.
Written by Marriott Edgar | Create an image from this poem

Marksman Sam

 When Sam Small joined the regiment,
'E were no' but a raw recruit,
And they marched 'im away one wint'ry day,
'Is musket course to shoot.

They woke 'im up at the crack o' dawn,
Wi' many a nudge and shake,
'E were dreaming that t' Sergeant 'ad broke 'is neck,
And 'e didn't want to wake.

Lieutenant Bird came on parade,
And chided the lads for mooning,
'E talked in a voice like a pound o' plums,
'Is tonsils needed pruning.

"Move to the right by fours," he said,
Crisp like but most severe,
But Sam didn't know 'is right from 'is left,
So pretended 'e didn't 'ear.

Said Lieutenant, "Sergeant, take this man's name."
The Sergeant took out 'is pencil,
'E were getting ashamed o' taking Sam's name,
And were thinking o' cutting a stencil.

Sam carried a musket, a knapsack and coat,
Spare boots that 'e'd managed to wangle,
A 'atchet, a spade... in fact, as Sam said,
'E'd got everything bar t'kitchen mangle.

"March easy men," Lieutenant cried,
As the musket range grew near,
"March easy me blushing Aunt Fanny," said Sam,
"What a chance with all this 'ere."

When they told 'im to fire at five 'undred yards,
Sam nearly 'ad a fit,
For a six foot wall, or the Albert 'All,
Were all 'e were likely to 'it.

'E'd fitted a cork in 'is musket end,
To keep 'is powder dry,
And 'e didn't remember to take it out,
The first time 'e let fly.

'Is gun went off with a kind o' pop,
Where 'is bullet went no-one knew,
But next day they spoke of a tinker's moke,
Being killed by a cork... in Crewe.

At three 'undred yards, Sam shut 'is eyes,
And took a careful aim,
'E failed to score but the marker swore,
And walked away quite lame.

At two 'undred yards, Sam fired so wild,
That the Sergeant feared for 'is skin,
And the lads all cleared int' t' neighbouring field,
And started to dig 'emselves in.

"Ooh, Sergeant! I hear a scraping noise,"
Said Sam, "What can it be?"
The noise that 'e 'eard were lieutenant Bird,
'Oo were climbing the nearest tree.

"Ooh, Sergeant!" said Sam, "I've 'it the bull!
What price my shooting now?"
Said the Sergeant, "A bull? Yer gormless fool,
Yon isn't a bull... it's a cow!"

At fifty yards 'is musket kicked,
And went off with a noise like a blizzard,
And down came a crow looking fair surprised,
With a ram-rod through 'is gizzard.

As 'e loaded 'is musket to fire agen,
Said the Sergeant, "Don't waste shot!
Yer'd best fix bayonets and charge, my lad,
It's the only chance yer've got.

Sam kept loading 'is gun while the Sergeant spoke,
Till the bullets peeped out of the muzzle,
When all of a sudden it went off bang!
What made it go were a puzzle.

The bullets flew out in a kind of a spray,
And everything round got peppered,
When they counted 'is score... 'e'd got eight bulls eyes,
Four magpies, two lambs and a shepherd.

And the Sergeant for this got a D.C.M.
And the Colonel an O.B.E.
Lieutenant Bird got the D.S.O.
And Sam got... five days C.B.


Written by Andrew Barton Paterson | Create an image from this poem

Saltbush Bill

 Now is the law of the Overland that all in the West obey -- 
A man must cover with travelling sheep a six-mile stage a day; 
But this is the law which the drovers make, right easily understood, 
They travel their stage where the grass is bad, but they camp where the grass is good; 
They camp, and they ravage the squatter's grass till never a blade remains. 
Then they drift away as the white clouds drift on the edge of the saltbush plains: 
From camp to camp and from run to run they battle it hand to hand 
For a blade of grass and the right to pass on the track of the Overland. 
For this is the law of the Great Stock Routes, 'tis written in white and black -- 
The man that goes with a travelling mob must keep to a half-mile track; 
And the drovers keep to a half-mile track on the runs where the grass is dead, 
But they spread their sheep on a well-grassed run till they go with a two-mile spread. 
So the squatters hurry the drovers on from dawn till the fall of night, 
And the squatters' dogs and the drovers' dogs get mixed in a deadly fight. 
Yet the squatters' men, thought they haunt the mob, are willing the peace to keep, 
For the drovers learn how to use their hands when they go with the travelling sheep; 
But this is the tale of a Jackaroo that came from a foreign strand, 
And the fight that he fought with Saltbush Bill, the King of the Overland. 
Now Saltbush Bill was a drover tough as ever the country knew, 
He had fought his way on the Great Stock Routes from the sea to the big Barcoo; 
He could tell when he came to a friendly run that gave him a chance to spread, 
And he knew where the hungry owners were that hurried his sheep ahead; 
He was drifting down in the Eighty drought with a mob that could scarcely creep 
(When the kangaroos by the thousand starve, it is rough on the travelling sheep), 
And he camped one night at the crossing-place on the edge of the Wilga run; 
"We must manage a feed for them here," he said, "or half of the mob are done!" 
So he spread them out when they left the camp wherever they liked to go, 
Till he grew aware of a Jackaroo with a station-hand in tow. 
They set to work on the straggling sheep, and with many a stockwhip crack 
The forced them in where the grass was dead in the space of the half-mile track; 
And William prayed that the hand of Fate might suddenly strike him blue 
But he'd get some grass for his starving sheep in the teeth of that Jackaroo. 
So he turned and cursed the Jackaroo; he cursed him, alive or dead, 
From the soles of his great unwieldly feet to the crown of his ugly head, 
With an extra curse on the moke he rode and the cur at his heels that ran, 
Till the Jackaroo from his horse got down and went for the drover-man; 
With the station-hand for his picker-up, though the sheep ran loose the while, 
They battled it out on the well-grassed plain in the regular prize-ring style. 

Now, the new chum fought for his honour's sake and the pride of the English race, 
But the drover fought for his daily bread with a smile on his bearded face; 
So he shifted ground, and he sparred for wind, and he made it a lengthy mill, 
And from time to time as his scouts came in they whispered to Saltbush Bill -- 
"We have spread the sheep with a two-mile spread, and the grass it is something grand; 
You must stick to him, Bill, for another round for the pride of the Overland." 
The new chum made it a rushing fight, though never a blow got home, 
Till the sun rode high in the cloudless sky and glared on the brick-red loam, 
Till the sheep drew in to the shelter-trees and settled them down to rest; 
Then the drover said he would fight no more, and gave his opponent best. 

So the new chum rode to the homestead straight, and told them a story grand 
Of the desperate fight that he fought that day with the King of the Overland; 
And the tale went home to the Public Schools of the pluck of the English swell -- 
How the drover fought for his very life, but blood in the end must tell. 
But the travelling sheep and the Wilga sheep were boxed on the Old Man Plain; 
'Twas a full week's work ere they drafted out and hunted them off again; 
A week's good grass in their wretched hides, with a curse and a stockwhip crack 
They hunted them off on the road once more to starve on the half-mile track. 
And Saltbush Bill, on the Overland, will many a time recite 
How the best day's work that he ever did was the day that he lost the fight.

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