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Best Famous Gaffer Poems

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Written by Andrew Barton Paterson | Create an image from this poem

Mulligans Mare

 Oh, Mulligan's bar was the deuce of a place 
To drink, and to fight, and to gamble and race; 
The height of choice spirits from near and from far 
Were all concentrated on Mulligan's bar. 

There was "Jerry the Swell", and the jockey-boy Ned, 
"Dog-bite-me" -- so called from the shape of his head -- 
And a man whom the boys, in their musical slang, 
Designated the "Gaffer of Mulligan's Gang". 

Now Mulligan's Gang had a racer to show, 
A bad un to look at, a good un to go; 
Whenever they backed her you safely might swear 
She'd walk in a winner, would Mulligan's mare. 

But Mulligan, having some radical views, 
Neglected his business and got on the booze; 
He took up with runners -- a treacherous troop -- 
Who gave him away, and he "fell in the soup". 

And so it turned out on a fine summer day, 
A bailiff turned up with a writ of "fi. fa."; 
He walked to the bar with a manner serene, 
"I levy," said he, "in the name of the Queen." 

Then Mulligan wanted, in spite of the law, 
To pay out the bailiff with "one on the jaw"; 
He drew out to hit him; but ere you could wink, 
He changed his intention and stood him a drink. 

A great consultation there straightway befell 
'Twixt jockey-boy Neddy and Jerry the Swell, 
And the man with the head, who remarked "Why, you bet! 
Dog-bite-me!" said he, "but we'll diddle 'em yet. 

"We'll slip out the mare from her stall in a crack, 
And put in her place the old broken-down hack; 
The hack is so like her, I'm ready to swear 
The bailiff will think he has Mulligan's mare. 

"So out with the racer and in with the screw, 
We'll show him what Mulligan's talent can do; 
And if he gets nasty and dares to say much, 
I'll knock him as stiff as my grandfather's crutch." 

Then off to the town went the mare and the lad; 
The bailiff came out, never dreamt he was "had"; 
But marched to the stall with a confident air -- 
"I levy," said he, "upon Mulligan's mare." 

He watched her by day and he watched her by night, 
She was never an instant let out of his sight, 
For races were coming away in the West 
And Mulligan's mare had a chance with the best. 

"Here's a slant," thought the bailiff, "to serve my own ends, 
I'll send off a wire to my bookmaking friends: 
'Get all you can borrow, beg, snavel or snare 
And lay the whole lot against Mulligan's mare.'" 

The races came round, and the crowd on the course 
Were laying the mare till they made themselves hoarse, 
And Mulligan's party, with ardour intense, 
They backed her for pounds and for shillings and pence. 

But think of the grief of the bookmaking host 
At the sound of the summons to go to the post -- 
For down to the start with her thoroughbred air 
As fit as a fiddle pranced Mulligan's mare! 

They started, and off went the boy to the front, 
He cleared out at once, and he made it a hunt; 
He steadied as rounding the corner they wheeled, 
Then gave her her head -- and she smothered the field. 

The race put her owner right clear of his debts; 
He landed a fortune in stakes and in bets, 
He paid the old bailiff the whole of his pelf, 
And gave him a hiding to keep for himself. 

So all you bold sportsmen take warning, I pray, 
Keep clear of the running, you'll find it don't pay; 
For the very best rule that you'll hear in a week 
Is never to bet on a thing that can speak. 

And whether you're lucky or whether you lose, 
Keep clear of the cards and keep clear of the booze, 
And fortune in season will answer your prayer 
And send you a flyer like Mulligan's mare.


Written by William Butler Yeats | Create an image from this poem

Broken Dreams

 There is grey in your hair.
Young men no longer suddenly catch their breath
When you are passing;
But maybe some old gaffer mutters a blessing
Because it was your prayer
Recovered him upon the bed of death.
For your sole sake - that all heart's ache have known,
And given to others all heart's ache,
From meagre girlhood's putting on
Burdensome beauty -- for your sole sake
Heaven has put away the stroke of her doom,
So great her portion in that peace you make
By merely walking in a room.

Your beauty can but leave among us
Vague memories, nothing but memories.
A young man when the old men are done talking
Will say to an old man, 'Tell me of that lady
The poet stubborn with his passion sang us
When age might well have chilled his blood.'

Vague memories, nothing but memories,
But in the grave all, all, shall be renewed.
The certainty that I shall see that lady
Leaning or standing or walking
In the first loveliness of womanhood,
And with the fervour of my youthful eyes,
Has set me muttering like a fool.

You are more beautiful than any one,
And yet your body had a flaw:
Your small hands were not beautiful,
And I am afraid that you will run
And paddle to the wrist
In that mysterious, always brimming lake
Where those What have obeyed the holy law
paddle and are perfect. Leave unchanged
The hands that I have kissed,
For old sake's sake.

The last stroke of midnight dies.
All day in the one chair
From dream to dream and rhyme to rhyme I have ranged
In rambling talk with an image of air:
Vague memories, nothing but memories.
Written by Robert William Service | Create an image from this poem

Contentment

 An Ancient gaffer once I knew,
Who puffed a pipe and tossed a tankard;
He claimed a hundred years or two,
And for a dozen more he hankered;
So o'er a pint I asked how he
Had kept his timbers tight together;
He grinned and answered: "It maun be
Because I likes all kinds o' weather.

"Fore every morn when I get up
I lights my clay pipe wi' a cinder,
And as me mug o' tea I sup
I looks from out the cottage winder;
And if it's shade or if it's shine
Or wind or snow befit to freeze me,
I always say: 'Well, now that's fine . . .
It's just the sorto' day to please me.'

"For I have found it wise in life
To take the luck the way it's coming;
A wake, a worry or a wife -
Just carry on and keep a-humming.
And so I lights me pipe o' clay,
And through the morn on blizzard borders,
I chuckle in me guts and say:
'It's just the day the doctor orders.'"

A mighty good philosophy
Thought I, and leads to longer living,
To make the best of things that be,
And take the weather of God's giving;
So though the sky be ashen grey,
And winds be edged and sleet be slanting,
Heap faggots on the fire and say:
"It's just the kind of day I'm wanting."
Written by John Greenleaf Whittier | Create an image from this poem

Kallundborg Church ( From The Tent on the Beach)

 "Tie stille, barn min!
Imorgen kommer Fin,
Fa'er din, 
Og gi'er dich Esbern Snares öine og hjerte at lege med!"
Zealand Rhyme.


"BUILD at Kallundborg by the sea
A church as stately as church may be,
And there shalt thou wed my daughter fair,"
Said the Lord of Nesvek to Esbern Snare.

And the Baron laughed. But Esbern said,
"Though I lose my soul, I will Helva wed!"
And off he strode, in his pride of will,
To the Troll who dwelt in Ulshoi hill.

"Build, O Troll, a church for me
At Kallundborg by the mighty sea;
Build it stately, and build it fair,
Build it quickly," said Esbern Snare.

But the sly Dwarf said, "No work is wrought
By Trolls of the Hills, O man, for naught.
What wilt thou give for thy church so fair?"
"Set thy own price," quoth Esbern Snare.

"When Kallundborg church is builded well,
Thou must the name of its builder tell,
Or thy heart and thy eyes must be my boon."
"Build," said Esbern, "and build it soon."

By night and by day the Troll wrought on;
He hewed the timbers, he piled the stone;
But day by day, as the walls rose fair,
Darker and sadder grew Esbern Snare.

He listened by night, he watched by day,
He sought and thought, but he dared not pray;
In vain he called on the Elle-maids shy,
And the Neck and the Nis gave no reply.

Of his evil bargain far and wide
A rumor ran through the country-side;
And Helva of Nesvek, young and fair,
Prayed for the soul of Esbern Snare.

And now the church was wellnigh done;
One pillar it lacked, and one alone;
And the grim Troll muttered, "Fool thou art!
To-morrow gives me thy eyes and heart!"

By Kallundborg in black despair,
Through wood and meadow, walked Esbern Snare,
Till, worn and weary, the strong man sank
Under the birches on Ulshoi bank.

At his last day's work he heard the Troll
Hammer and delve in the quarry's hole;
Before him the church stood large and fair:
"I have builded my tomb," said Esbern Snare.

And he closed his eyes the sight to hide,
When he heard a light step at his side:
"O Esbern Snare! a sweet voice said,
"Would I might die now in thy stead!"

With a grasp by love and by fear made strong,
He held her fast, and he held her long;
With the beating heart of a bird afeard,
She hid her face in his flame-red beard.

"O love!" he cried, "let me look to-day
In thine eyes ere mine are plucked away;
Let me hold thee close, let me feel thy heart
Ere mine by the Troll is torn apart!

"I sinned, O Helva, for love of thee!
Pray that the Lord Christ pardon me!"
But fast as she prayed, and faster still,
Hammered the Troll in Ulshoi hill.

He knew, as he wrought, that a loving heart
Was somehow baffling his evil art;
For more than spell of Elf or Troll
Is a maiden's prayer for her lover's soul.

And Esbern listened, and caught the sound
Of a Troll-wife singing underground:
"To-morrow comes Fine, father thine:
Lie still and hush thee, baby mine!

"Lie still, my darling! next sunrise
Thou'lt play with Esbern Snare's heart and eyes!"
"Ho! ho!" quoth Esbern, "is that your game?
Thanks to the Troll-wife, I know his name!"

The Troll he heard him, and hurried on
To Kallundborg church with the lacking stone.
"Too late, Gaffer Fine!" cried Esbern Snare;
And Troll and pillar vanished in air!

That night the harvesters heard the sound
Of a woman sobbing underground,
And the voice of the Hill-Troll loud with blame
Of the careless singer who told his name.

Of the Troll of the Church they sing the rune
By the Northern Sea in the harvest moon;
And the fishers of Zealand hear him still
Scolding his wife in Ulshoi hill.

And seaward over its groves of birch
Still looks the tower of Kallundborg church
Where, first at its altar, a wedded pair,
Stood Helva of Nesvek and Esbern Snare!
Written by Thomas Hardy | Create an image from this poem

Additions

 The Fire at Tranter Sweatley's

THEY had long met o' Zundays--her true love and she--
And at junketings, maypoles, and flings;
But she bode wi' a thirtover uncle, and he
Swore by noon and by night that her goodman should be
Naibor Sweatley--a gaffer oft weak at the knee
From taking o' sommat more cheerful than tea--
Who tranted, and moved people's things.

She cried, "O pray pity me!" Nought would he hear;
Then with wild rainy eyes she obeyed,
She chid when her Love was for clinking off wi' her.
The pa'son was told, as the season drew near
To throw over pu'pit the names of the pe?ir
As fitting one flesh to be made.

The wedding-day dawned and the morning drew on;
The couple stood bridegroom and bride;
The evening was passed, and when midnight had gone
The folks horned out, "God save the King," and anon
The two home-along gloomily hied.

The lover Tim Tankens mourned heart-sick and drear
To be thus of his darling deprived:
He roamed in the dark ath'art field, mound, and mere,
And, a'most without knowing it, found himself near
The house of the tranter, and now of his Dear,
Where the lantern-light showed 'em arrived.

The bride sought her cham'er so calm and so pale
That a Northern had thought her resigned;
But to eyes that had seen her in tide-times of weal,
Like the white cloud o' smoke, the red battlefield's vail,
That look spak' of havoc behind.

The bridegroom yet laitered a beaker to drain,
Then reeled to the linhay for more,
When the candle-snoff kindled some chaff from his grain--
Flames spread, and red vlankers, wi' might and wi' main,
And round beams, thatch, and chimley-tun roar.

Young Tim away yond, rafted up by the light,
Through brimble and underwood tears,
Till he comes to the orchet, when crooping thereright
In the lewth of a codlin-tree, bivering wi' fright,
Wi' on'y her night-rail to screen her from sight,
His lonesome young Barbree appears.

Her cwold little figure half-naked he views
Played about by the frolicsome breeze,
Her light-tripping totties, her ten little tooes,
All bare and besprinkled wi' Fall's chilly dews,
While her great gallied eyes, through her hair hanging loose,
Sheened as stars through a tardle o' trees.

She eyed en; and, as when a weir-hatch is drawn,
Her tears, penned by terror afore,
With a rushing of sobs in a shower were strawn,
Till her power to pour 'em seemed wasted and gone
From the heft o' misfortune she bore.

"O Tim, my own Tim I must call 'ee--I will!
All the world ha' turned round on me so!
Can you help her who loved 'ee, though acting so ill?
Can you pity her misery--feel for her still?
When worse than her body so quivering and chill
Is her heart in its winter o' woe!

"I think I mid almost ha' borne it," she said,
"Had my griefs one by one come to hand;
But O, to be slave to thik husbird for bread,
And then, upon top o' that, driven to wed,
And then, upon top o' that, burnt out o' bed,
Is more than my nater can stand!"

Tim's soul like a lion 'ithin en outsprung--
(Tim had a great soul when his feelings were wrung)--
"Feel for 'ee, dear Barbree?" he cried;
And his warm working-jacket about her he flung,
Made a back, horsed her up, till behind him she clung
Like a chiel on a gipsy, her figure uphung
By the sleeves that around her he tied.

Over piggeries, and mixens, and apples, and hay,
They lumpered straight into the night;
And finding bylong where a halter-path lay,
At dawn reached Tim's house, on'y seen on their way
By a naibor or two who were up wi' the day;
But they gathered no clue to the sight.

Then tender Tim Tankens he searched here and there
For some garment to clothe her fair skin;
But though he had breeches and waistcoats to spare,
He had nothing quite seemly for Barbree to wear,
Who, half shrammed to death, stood and cried on a chair
At the caddle she found herself in.

There was one thing to do, and that one thing he did,
He lent her some clouts of his own,
And she took 'em perforce; and while in 'em she slid,
Tim turned to the winder, as modesty bid,
Thinking, "O that the picter my duty keeps hid
To the sight o' my eyes mid be shown!"

In the tallet he stowed her; there huddied she lay,
Shortening sleeves, legs, and tails to her limbs;
But most o' the time in a mortal bad way,
Well knowing that there'd be the divel to pay
If 'twere found that, instead o' the elements' prey,
She was living in lodgings at Tim's.

"Where's the tranter?" said men and boys; "where can er be?"
"Where's the tranter?" said Barbree alone.
"Where on e'th is the tranter?" said everybod-y:
They sifted the dust of his perished roof-tree,
And all they could find was a bone.

Then the uncle cried, "Lord, pray have mercy on me!"
And in terror began to repent.
But before 'twas complete, and till sure she was free,
Barbree drew up her loft-ladder, tight turned her key--
Tim bringing up breakfast and dinner and tea--
Till the news of her hiding got vent.

Then followed the custom-kept rout, shout, and flare
Of a skimmington-ride through the naiborhood, ere
Folk had proof o' wold Sweatley's decay.
Whereupon decent people all stood in a stare,
Saying Tim and his lodger should risk it, and pair:
So he took her to church. An' some laughing lads there
Cried to Tim, "After Sweatley!" She said, "I declare
I stand as a maiden to-day!"


Written by Thomas Hardy | Create an image from this poem

The Fire At Tranter Sweatleys

 They had long met o' Zundays--her true love and she-- 
 And at junketings, maypoles, and flings; 
But she bode wi' a thirtover uncle, and he 
Swore by noon and by night that her goodman should be 
Naibor Sweatley--a gaffer oft weak at the knee 
From taking o' sommat more cheerful than tea-- 
 Who tranted, and moved people's things. 

She cried, "O pray pity me!" Nought would he hear; 
 Then with wild rainy eyes she obeyed, 
She chid when her Love was for clinking off wi' her. 
The pa'son was told, as the season drew near 
To throw over pu'pit the names of the peäir 
 As fitting one flesh to be made. 

The wedding-day dawned and the morning drew on; 
 The couple stood bridegroom and bride; 
The evening was passed, and when midnight had gone 
The folks horned out, "God save the King," and anon 
 The two home-along gloomily hied. 

The lover Tim Tankens mourned heart-sick and drear 
 To be thus of his darling deprived: 
He roamed in the dark ath'art field, mound, and mere, 
And, a'most without knowing it, found himself near 
The house of the tranter, and now of his Dear, 
 Where the lantern-light showed 'em arrived. 

The bride sought her cham'er so calm and so pale 
 That a Northern had thought her resigned; 
But to eyes that had seen her in tide-times of weal, 
Like the white cloud o' smoke, the red battlefield's vail, 
 That look spak' of havoc behind. 

The bridegroom yet laitered a beaker to drain, 
 Then reeled to the linhay for more, 
When the candle-snoff kindled some chaff from his grain-- 
Flames spread, and red vlankers, wi' might and wi' main, 
 And round beams, thatch, and chimley-tun roar. 

Young Tim away yond, rafted up by the light, 
 Through brimble and underwood tears, 
Till he comes to the orchet, when crooping thereright 
In the lewth of a codlin-tree, bivering wi' fright, 
Wi' on'y her night-rail to screen her from sight, 
 His lonesome young Barbree appears. 

Her cwold little figure half-naked he views 
 Played about by the frolicsome breeze, 
Her light-tripping totties, her ten little tooes, 
All bare and besprinkled wi' Fall's chilly dews, 
While her great gallied eyes, through her hair hanging loose, 
 Sheened as stars through a tardle o' trees. 

She eyed en; and, as when a weir-hatch is drawn, 
 Her tears, penned by terror afore, 
With a rushing of sobs in a shower were strawn, 
Till her power to pour 'em seemed wasted and gone 
 From the heft o' misfortune she bore. 

"O Tim, my own Tim I must call 'ee--I will! 
 All the world ha' turned round on me so! 
Can you help her who loved 'ee, though acting so ill? 
Can you pity her misery--feel for her still? 
When worse than her body so quivering and chill 
 Is her heart in its winter o' woe! 

"I think I mid almost ha' borne it," she said, 
 "Had my griefs one by one come to hand; 
But O, to be slave to thik husbird for bread, 
And then, upon top o' that, driven to wed, 
And then, upon top o' that, burnt out o' bed, 
 Is more than my nater can stand!" 

Tim's soul like a lion 'ithin en outsprung-- 
 (Tim had a great soul when his feelings were wrung)-- 
"Feel for 'ee, dear Barbree?" he cried; 
And his warm working-jacket about her he flung, 
Made a back, horsed her up, till behind him she clung 
Like a chiel on a gipsy, her figure uphung 
 By the sleeves that around her he tied. 

Over piggeries, and mixens, and apples, and hay, 
 They lumpered straight into the night; 
And finding bylong where a halter-path lay, 
At dawn reached Tim's house, on'y seen on their way 
By a naibor or two who were up wi' the day; 
 But they gathered no clue to the sight. 

Then tender Tim Tankens he searched here and there 
 For some garment to clothe her fair skin; 
But though he had breeches and waistcoats to spare, 
He had nothing quite seemly for Barbree to wear, 
Who, half shrammed to death, stood and cried on a chair 
 At the caddle she found herself in. 

There was one thing to do, and that one thing he did, 
 He lent her some clouts of his own, 
And she took 'em perforce; and while in 'em she slid, 
Tim turned to the winder, as modesty bid, 
Thinking, "O that the picter my duty keeps hid 
 To the sight o' my eyes mid be shown!" 

In the tallet he stowed her; there huddied she lay, 
 Shortening sleeves, legs, and tails to her limbs; 
But most o' the time in a mortal bad way, 
Well knowing that there'd be the divel to pay 
If 'twere found that, instead o' the elements' prey, 
 She was living in lodgings at Tim's. 

"Where's the tranter?" said men and boys; "where can er be?" 
 "Where's the tranter?" said Barbree alone. 
"Where on e'th is the tranter?" said everybod-y: 
They sifted the dust of his perished roof-tree, 
 And all they could find was a bone. 

Then the uncle cried, "Lord, pray have mercy on me!" 
 And in terror began to repent. 
But before 'twas complete, and till sure she was free, 
Barbree drew up her loft-ladder, tight turned her key-- 
Tim bringing up breakfast and dinner and tea-- 
 Till the news of her hiding got vent. 

Then followed the custom-kept rout, shout, and flare 
Of a skimmington-ride through the naiborhood, ere 
 Folk had proof o' wold Sweatley's decay. 
Whereupon decent people all stood in a stare, 
Saying Tim and his lodger should risk it, and pair: 
So he took her to church. An' some laughing lads there 
Cried to Tim, "After Sweatley!" She said, "I declare 
I stand as a maiden to-day!"
Written by Victor Hugo | Create an image from this poem

The Cow

 ("Devant la blanche ferme.") 
 
 {XV., May, 1837.} 


 Before the farm where, o'er the porch, festoon 
 Wild creepers red, and gaffer sits at noon, 
 Whilst strutting fowl display their varied crests, 
 And the old watchdog slumberously rests, 
 They half-attentive to the clarion of their king, 
 Resplendent in the sunshine op'ning wing— 
 There stood a cow, with neck-bell jingling light, 
 Superb, enormous, dappled red and white— 
 Soft, gentle, patient as a hind unto its young, 
 Letting the children swarm until they hung 
 Around her, under—rustics with their teeth 
 Whiter than marble their ripe lips beneath, 
 And bushy hair fresh and more brown 
 Than mossy walls at old gates of a town, 
 Calling to one another with loud cries 
 For younger imps to be in at the prize; 
 Stealing without concern but tremulous with fear 
 They glance around lest Doll the maid appear;— 
 Their jolly lips—that haply cause some pain, 
 And all those busy fingers, pressing now and 'gain, 
 The teeming udders whose small, thousand pores 
 Gush out the nectar 'mid their laughing roars, 
 While she, good mother, gives and gives in heaps, 
 And never moves. Anon there creeps 
 A vague soft shiver o'er the hide unmarred, 
 As sharp they pull, she seems of stone most hard. 
 Dreamy of large eye, seeks she no release, 
 And shrinks not while there's one still to appease. 
 Thus Nature—refuge 'gainst the slings of fate! 
 Mother of all, indulgent as she's great! 
 Lets us, the hungered of each age and rank, 
 Shadow and milk seek in the eternal flank; 
 Mystic and carnal, foolish, wise, repair, 
 The souls retiring and those that dare, 
 Sages with halos, poets laurel-crowned, 
 All creep beneath or cluster close around, 
 And with unending greed and joyous cries, 
 From sources full, draw need's supplies, 
 Quench hearty thirst, obtain what must eftsoon 
 Form blood and mind, in freest boon, 
 Respire at length thy sacred flaming light, 
 From all that greets our ears, touch, scent or sight— 
 Brown leaves, blue mountains, yellow gleams, green sod— 
 Thou undistracted still dost dream of God. 
 
 TORU DUTT. 


 





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