Get Your Premium Membership

Best Famous Clerk Poems

Here is a collection of the all-time best famous Clerk poems. This is a select list of the best famous Clerk poetry. Reading, writing, and enjoying famous Clerk poetry (as well as classical and contemporary poems) is a great past time. These top poems are the best examples of clerk poems.

Search and read the best famous Clerk poems, articles about Clerk poems, poetry blogs, or anything else Clerk poem related using the PoetrySoup search engine at the top of the page.

See Also:
Written by Pablo Neruda | Create an image from this poem

Walking Around

 It so happens I am sick of being a man.
And it happens that I walk into tailorshops and movie
 houses
dried up, waterproof, like a swan made of felt
steering my way in a water of wombs and ashes.

The smell of barbershops makes me break into hoarse
 sobs.
The only thing I want is to lie still like stones or wool.
The only thing I want is to see no more stores, no gardens,
no more goods, no spectacles, no elevators.

It so happens that I am sick of my feet and my nails
and my hair and my shadow.
It so happens I am sick of being a man.

Still it would be marvelous
to terrify a law clerk with a cut lily,
or kill a nun with a blow on the ear.
It would be great
to go through the streets with a green knife
letting out yells until I died of the cold.

I don't want to go on being a root in the dark,
insecure, stretched out, shivering with sleep,
going on down, into the moist guts of the earth,
taking in and thinking, eating every day.

I don't want so much misery.
I don't want to go on as a root and a tomb,
alone under the ground, a warehouse with corpses,
half frozen, dying of grief.

That's why Monday, when it sees me coming
with my convict face, blazes up like gasoline,
and it howls on its way like a wounded wheel,
and leaves tracks full of warm blood leading toward the
 night.

And it pushes me into certain corners, into some moist
 houses,
into hospitals where the bones fly out the window,
into shoeshops that smell like vinegar,
and certain streets hideous as cracks in the skin.

There are sulphur-colored birds, and hideous intestines
hanging over the doors of houses that I hate,
and there are false teeth forgotten in a coffeepot,
there are mirrors
that ought to have wept from shame and terror,
there are umbrellas everywhere, and venoms, and umbilical
 cords.

I stroll along serenely, with my eyes, my shoes,
my rage, forgetting everything,
I walk by, going through office buildings and orthopedic
 shops,
and courtyards with washing hanging from the line:
underwear, towels and shirts from which slow
dirty tears are falling.


Written by Allen Ginsberg | Create an image from this poem

In The Baggage Room At Greyhound

 I

In the depths of the Greyhound Terminal 
sitting dumbly on a baggage truck looking at the sky 
 waiting for the Los Angeles Express to depart 
worrying about eternity over the Post Office roof in 
 the night-time red downtown heaven 
staring through my eyeglasses I realized shuddering 
 these thoughts were not eternity, nor the poverty 
 of our lives, irritable baggage clerks, 
nor the millions of weeping relatives surrounding the 
 buses waving goodbye, 
nor other millions of the poor rushing around from 
 city to city to see their loved ones, 
nor an indian dead with fright talking to a huge cop 
 by the Coke machine, 
nor this trembling old lady with a cane taking the last 
 trip of her life, 
nor the red-capped cynical porter collecting his quar- 
 ters and smiling over the smashed baggage, 
nor me looking around at the horrible dream, 
nor mustached ***** Operating Clerk named Spade, 
 dealing out with his marvelous long hand the 
 fate of thousands of express packages, 
nor fairy Sam in the basement limping from leaden 
 trunk to trunk, 
nor Joe at the counter with his nervous breakdown 
 smiling cowardly at the customers, 
nor the grayish-green whale's stomach interior loft 
 where we keep the baggage in hideous racks, 
hundreds of suitcases full of tragedy rocking back and 
 forth waiting to be opened, 
nor the baggage that's lost, nor damaged handles, 
 nameplates vanished, busted wires & broken 
 ropes, whole trunks exploding on the concrete 
 floor, 
nor seabags emptied into the night in the final 
 warehouse. 

 II

Yet Spade reminded me of Angel, unloading a bus, 
dressed in blue overalls black face official Angel's work- 
 man cap, 
pushing with his belly a huge tin horse piled high with 
 black baggage, 
looking up as he passed the yellow light bulb of the loft 
and holding high on his arm an iron shepherd's crook. 

 III

It was the racks, I realized, sitting myself on top of 
 them now as is my wont at lunchtime to rest 
 my tired foot, 
it was the racks, great wooden shelves and stanchions 
 posts and beams assembled floor to roof jumbled 
 with baggage, 
--the Japanese white metal postwar trunk gaudily 
 flowered & headed for Fort Bragg, 
one Mexican green paper package in purple rope 
 adorned with names for Nogales, 
hundreds of radiators all at once for Eureka, 
crates of Hawaiian underwear, 
rolls of posters scattered over the Peninsula, nuts to 
 Sacramento, 
one human eye for Napa, 
an aluminum box of human blood for Stockton 
and a little red package of teeth for Calistoga- 
it was the racks and these on the racks I saw naked 
 in electric light the night before I quit, 
the racks were created to hang our possessions, to keep 
 us together, a temporary shift in space, 
God's only way of building the rickety structure of 
 Time, 
to hold the bags to send on the roads, to carry our 
 luggage from place to place 
looking for a bus to ride us back home to Eternity 
 where the heart was left and farewell tears 
 began. 

 IV

A swarm of baggage sitting by the counter as the trans- 
 continental bus pulls in. 
The clock registering 12:15 A.M., May 9, 1956, the 
 second hand moving forward, red. 
Getting ready to load my last bus.-Farewell, Walnut 
 Creek Richmond Vallejo Portland Pacific 
 Highway 
Fleet-footed Quicksilver, God of transience. 
One last package sits lone at midnight sticking up out 
 of the Coast rack high as the dusty fluorescent 
 light. 

The wage they pay us is too low to live on. Tragedy 
 reduced to numbers. 
This for the poor shepherds. I am a communist. 
Farewell ye Greyhound where I suffered so much, 
 hurt my knee and scraped my hand and built 
 my pectoral muscles big as a vagina.

 May 9, 1956
Written by Jane Kenyon | Create an image from this poem

Happiness

 There's just no accounting for happiness,
or the way it turns up like a prodigal
who comes back to the dust at your feet
having squandered a fortune far away.

And how can you not forgive?
You make a feast in honor of what
was lost, and take from its place the finest
garment, which you saved for an occasion
you could not imagine, and you weep night and day
to know that you were not abandoned,
that happiness saved its most extreme form
for you alone.

No, happiness is the uncle you never 
knew about, who flies a single-engine plane
onto the grassy landing strip, hitchhikes
into town, and inquires at every door
until he finds you asleep midafternoon
as you so often are during the unmerciful
hours of your despair.

It comes to the monk in his cell.
It comes to the woman sweeping the street
with a birch broom, to the child
whose mother has passed out from drink.
It comes to the lover, to the dog chewing
a sock, to the pusher, to the basket maker,
and to the clerk stacking cans of carrots
in the night.
It even comes to the boulder
in the perpetual shade of pine barrens,
to rain falling on the open sea, 
to the wineglass, weary of holding wine.
Written by Henry Lawson | Create an image from this poem

A Song of Brave Men

 Man, is the Sea your master? Sea, and is man your slave? – 
This is the song of brave men who never know they are brave: 
Ceaselessly watching to save you, stranger from foreign lands, 
Soundly asleep in your state room, full sail for the Goodwin Sands! 
Life is a dream, they tell us, but life seems very real, 
When the lifeboat puts out from Ramsgate, and the buggers put out from Deal! 

A gun from the lightship! – a rocket! – a cry of, "Turn out, me lad!" 
"Ship on the Sands!" they're shouting, and a rush of the oilskin-clad. 
The lifeboat leaping and swooping, in the wake of the fighting tug, 
And the luggers afloat in Hell's water – Oh, "tourist", with cushion and rug! – 
Think of the freezing fury, without one minute's relief, 
When they stood all night in the blackness by the wreck of the Indian Chief! 

Lashed to their seats, and crouching, to the spray that froze as it flew, 
Twenty-six hours in midwinter! That was the lifeboat's crew. 
Twice she was swamped, and she righted, in the rush of the heavy seas, 
And her tug was mostly buried; but these were common things, these. 
And the luggers go out whenever there's a hope to get them afloat, 
And these things they do for nothing, and those fishermen say, "Oh! it's nowt!" 

(Enemy, Friend or Stranger! In every sea or land, 
And across the lives of most men run stretches of Goodwin Sand; 
And across the life of a nation, as across the track of a ship, 
Lies the hidden rock, or the iceberg, within the horizon dip. 
And wise men know them, and warn us, with lightship, or voice, or pen; 
But we strike, and the fool survivors sail on to strike again.) 

But this is a song of brave men, wherever is aught to save, 
Christian or Jew or Wowser – and I knew one who was brave; 
British or French or German, Dane or Latin or Dutch: 
"Scandies" that ignorant British reckon with "Dagoes and such" – 
(Where'er, on a wreck titanic, in a scene of wild despair, 
The officers call for assistance, a Swede or a Norse is there.) 

Tale of a wreck titanic, with the last boat over the side, 
And a brave young husband fighting his clinging, hysterical bride; 
He strikes her fair on the temple, while the decks are scarce afloat, 
And he kisses her once on the forehead, and he drops her into the boat. 
So he goes to his death to save her; and she lives to remember and lie – 
Or be true to his love and courage. But that's how brave men die. 

(I hate the slander: "Be British" – and I don't believe it, that's flat: 
No British sailor and captain would stoop to such cant as that. 
What – in the rush of cowards – of the help from before the mast – 
Of the two big Swedes and the Norse, who stood by the mate to the last? – 
In every mining disaster, in a New-World mining town, 
In one of the rescue parties an Olsen or Hans goes down.) 

Men who fought for their village, away on their country's edge: 
The priest with his cross – and a musket, and the blacksmith with his sledge; 
The butcher with cleaver and pistols, and the notary with his pike. 
And the clerk with what he laid hands on; but all were ready to strike. 
And – Tennyson notwithstanding – when the hour of danger was come, 
The shopman has struck full often with his "cheating yard-wand" home! 

This is a song of brave men, ever, the wide world o'er – 
Starved and crippled and murdered by the land they are fighting for. 
Left to freeze in the trenches, sent to drown by the Cape, 
Throttled by army contractors, and strangled bv old red-tape. 
Fighting for "Home" and "Country", or "Glory", or what you choose – 
Sacrificed for the Syndicates, and a monarch "in" with the Jews. 

Australia! your trial is coming! Down with the party strife: 
Send Your cackling, lying women back to the old Home Life. 
Brush trom your Parliament benches the legal chaff and dust: 
Make Federation perfect, as sooner or later you must. 
Scatter your crowded cities, cut up your States – and so 
Give your brave sons of the future the ghost of a White Man's show.
Written by Lewis Carroll | Create an image from this poem

A Strange Wild Song

 He thought he saw an Elephant
That practised on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
"At length I realize," he said,
"The bitterness of life!"

He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
His Sister's Husband's Niece.
"Unless you leave this house," he said,
"I'll send for the police!"

he thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
The Middle of Next Week.
"The one thing I regret," he said,
"Is that it cannot speak!"

He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
Descending from the bus:
He looked again, and found it was
A Hippopotamus.
"If this should stay to dine," he said,
"There won't be much for us!"

He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That worked a Coffee-mill:
He looked again, and found it was
A Vegetable-Pill.
"Were I to swallow this," he said,
"I should be very ill!"

He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
That stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bear without a Head.
"Poor thing," he said, "poor silly thing!
It's waiting to be fed!"


Written by Robert Frost | Create an image from this poem

A Hundred Collars

 Lancaster bore him--such a little town, 
Such a great man. It doesn't see him often 
Of late years, though he keeps the old homestead 
And sends the children down there with their mother 
To run wild in the summer--a little wild. 
Sometimes he joins them for a day or two 
And sees old friends he somehow can't get near. 
They meet him in the general store at night, 
Pre-occupied with formidable mail, 
Rifling a printed letter as he talks. 
They seem afraid. He wouldn't have it so: 
Though a great scholar, he's a democrat, 
If not at heart, at least on principle. 
Lately when coming up to Lancaster 
His train being late he missed another train 
And had four hours to wait at Woodsville Junction 
After eleven o'clock at night. Too tired 
To think of sitting such an ordeal out, 
He turned to the hotel to find a bed. 
"No room," the night clerk said. "Unless----" 
Woodsville's a place of shrieks and wandering lamps 
And cars that shook and rattle--and one hotel. 
"You say 'unless.'" 
"Unless you wouldn't mind 
Sharing a room with someone else." 
"Who is it?" 
"A man." 
"So I should hope. What kind of man?" 
"I know him: he's all right. A man's a man. 
Separate beds of course you understand." 
The night clerk blinked his eyes and dared him on. 
"Who's that man sleeping in the office chair? 
Has he had the refusal of my chance?" 
"He was afraid of being robbed or murdered. 
What do you say?" 
"I'll have to have a bed." 
The night clerk led him up three flights of stairs 
And down a narrow passage full of doors, 
At the last one of which he knocked and entered. 
"Lafe, here's a fellow wants to share your room." 
"Show him this way. I'm not afraid of him. 
I'm not so drunk I can't take care of myself." 
The night clerk clapped a bedstead on the foot. 
"This will be yours. Good-night," he said, and went. 
"Lafe was the name, I think?" 
"Yes, Layfayette. 
You got it the first time. And yours?" 
"Magoon. 
Doctor Magoon." 
"A Doctor?" 
"Well, a teacher." 
"Professor Square-the-circle-till-you're-tired? 
Hold on, there's something I don't think of now 
That I had on my mind to ask the first 
Man that knew anything I happened in with. 
I'll ask you later--don't let me forget it." 
The Doctor looked at Lafe and looked away. 
A man? A brute. Naked above the waist, 
He sat there creased and shining in the light, 
Fumbling the buttons in a well-starched shirt. 
"I'm moving into a size-larger shirt. 
I've felt mean lately; mean's no name for it. 
I just found what the matter was to-night: 
I've been a-choking like a nursery tree 
When it outgrows the wire band of its name tag. 
I blamed it on the hot spell we've been having. 
'Twas nothing but my foolish hanging back, 
Not liking to own up I'd grown a size. 
Number eighteen this is. What size do you wear?" 
The Doctor caught his throat convulsively. 
"Oh--ah--fourteen--fourteen." 
"Fourteen! You say so! 
I can remember when I wore fourteen. 
And come to think I must have back at home 
More than a hundred collars, size fourteen. 
Too bad to waste them all. You ought to have them. 
They're yours and welcome; let me send them to you. 
What makes you stand there on one leg like that? 
You're not much furtherer than where Kike left you. 
You act as if you wished you hadn't come. 
Sit down or lie down, friend; you make me nervous." 
The Doctor made a subdued dash for it, 
And propped himself at bay against a pillow. 
"Not that way, with your shoes on Kike's white bed. 
You can't rest that way. Let me pull your shoes off." 
"Don't touch me, please--I say, don't touch me, please. 
I'll not be put to bed by you, my man." 
"Just as you say. Have it your own way then. 
'My man' is it? You talk like a professor. 
Speaking of who's afraid of who, however, 
I'm thinking I have more to lose than you 
If anything should happen to be wrong. 
Who wants to cut your number fourteen throat! 
Let's have a show down as an evidence 
Of good faith. There is ninety dollars. 
Come, if you're not afraid." 
"I'm not afraid. 
There's five: that's all I carry." 
"I can search you? 
Where are you moving over to? Stay still. 
You'd better tuck your money under you 
And sleep on it the way I always do 
When I'm with people I don't trust at night." 
"Will you believe me if I put it there 
Right on the counterpane--that I do trust you?" 
"You'd say so, Mister Man.--I'm a collector. 
My ninety isn't mine--you won't think that. 
I pick it up a dollar at a time 
All round the country for the Weekly News, 
Published in Bow. You know the Weekly News?" 
"Known it since I was young." 
"Then you know me. 
Now we are getting on together--talking. 
I'm sort of Something for it at the front. 
My business is to find what people want: 
They pay for it, and so they ought to have it. 
Fairbanks, he says to me--he's editor-- 
Feel out the public sentiment--he says. 
A good deal comes on me when all is said. 
The only trouble is we disagree 
In politics: I'm Vermont Democrat-- 
You know what that is, sort of double-dyed; 
The News has always been Republican. 
Fairbanks, he says to me, 'Help us this year,' 
Meaning by us their ticket. 'No,' I says, 
'I can't and won't. You've been in long enough: 
It's time you turned around and boosted us. 
You'll have to pay me more than ten a week 
If I'm expected to elect Bill Taft. 
I doubt if I could do it anyway.'" 
"You seem to shape the paper's policy." 
"You see I'm in with everybody, know 'em all. 
I almost know their farms as well as they do." 
"You drive around? It must be pleasant work." 
"It's business, but I can't say it's not fun. 
What I like best's the lay of different farms, 
Coming out on them from a stretch of woods, 
Or over a hill or round a sudden corner. 
I like to find folks getting out in spring, 
Raking the dooryard, working near the house. 
Later they get out further in the fields. 
Everything's shut sometimes except the barn; 
The family's all away in some back meadow. 
There's a hay load a-coming--when it comes. 
And later still they all get driven in: 
The fields are stripped to lawn, the garden patches 
Stripped to bare ground, the apple trees 
To whips and poles. There's nobody about. 
The chimney, though, keeps up a good brisk smoking. 
And I lie back and ride. I take the reins 
Only when someone's coming, and the mare 
Stops when she likes: I tell her when to go. 
I've spoiled Jemima in more ways than one. 
She's got so she turns in at every house 
As if she had some sort of curvature, 
No matter if I have no errand there. 
She thinks I'm sociable. I maybe am. 
It's seldom I get down except for meals, though. 
Folks entertain me from the kitchen doorstep, 
All in a family row down to the youngest." 
"One would suppose they might not be as glad 
To see you as you are to see them." 
"Oh, 
Because I want their dollar. I don't want 
Anything they've not got. I never dun. 
I'm there, and they can pay me if they like. 
I go nowhere on purpose: I happen by. 
Sorry there is no cup to give you a drink. 
I drink out of the bottle--not your style. 
Mayn't I offer you----?" 
"No, no, no, thank you." 
"Just as you say. Here's looking at you then.-- 
And now I'm leaving you a little while. 
You'll rest easier when I'm gone, perhaps-- 
Lie down--let yourself go and get some sleep. 
But first--let's see--what was I going to ask you? 
Those collars--who shall I address them to, 
Suppose you aren't awake when I come back?" 
"Really, friend, I can't let you. You--may need them." 
"Not till I shrink, when they'll be out of style." 
"But really I--I have so many collars." 
"I don't know who I rather would have have them. 
They're only turning yellow where they are. 
But you're the doctor as the saying is. 
I'll put the light out. Don't you wait for me: 
I've just begun the night. You get some sleep. 
I'll knock so-fashion and peep round the door 
When I come back so you'll know who it is. 
There's nothing I'm afraid of like scared people. 
I don't want you should shoot me in the head. 
What am I doing carrying off this bottle? 
There now, you get some sleep." 
He shut the door. 
The Doctor slid a little down the pillow.
Written by Rudyard Kipling | Create an image from this poem

A Smugglers Song

 If you wake at midnight, and hear a horse's feet,
Don't go drawing back the blind, or looking in the street.
Them that ask no questions isn't told a lie.
Watch the wall, my darling, while the Gentlemen go by!
 Five and twenty ponies,
 Trotting through the dark --
 Brandy for the Parson,
 'Baccy for the Clerk;
 Laces for a lady, letters for a spy,
And watch the wall, my darling, while the Gentlemen go by!

Running round the woodlump if you chance to find
Little barrels, roped and tarred, all full of brandy-wine,
Don't you shout to come and look, nor use 'em for your play.
Put the brishwood back again -- and they'll be gone next day!

If you see the stable-door setting open wide;
If you see a tired horse lying down inside;
If your mother mends a coat cut about and tore;
If the lining's wet and warm -- don't you ask no more!

If you meet King George's men, dressed in blue and red,
You be carefull what you say, and mindful what is said.
If they call you "pretty maid," and chuck you 'neath the chin,
Don't you tell where no one is, nor yet where no one's been!

Knocks and footsteps round the house -- whistles after dark --
You've no call for running out till the house-dogs bark.
Trusty's here, and Pincher's here, and see how dumb they lie --
They don't fret to follow when the Gentlemen go by!

If you do as you've been told, 'likely there's a chance,
You'll be given a dainty doll, all the way from France,
With a cap of Valenciennes, and a velvet hood --
A present from the Gentlemen, along o' being good!
 Five and twenty ponies,
 Trotting through the dark --
 Brandy for the Parson,
 'Baccy for the Clerk;
Them that asks no questions isn't told a lie --
Watch the wall, my darling, while the Gentlemen bo by!
Written by Barry Tebb | Create an image from this poem

Our Son

 Quarter to three: I wake again at the hour of his birth

Thirty years ago and now he paces corridors of dark

In nightmares of self-condemnation where random thoughts

Besiege his fevered imagination – England’s 

Imminent destruction, his own, the world’s…

Sixty to eighty cigarettes a day, unavailing depot injections,

Failed abscondings, failed everything: Eton and Balliol

Hold no sway on ward one, nor even being

‘A six language master,’ on PICU madness is the only qualification.

There was the ‘shaving incident’ at school, which

Made him ready to walk out at fifteen, the alcohol

Defences at Oxford which shut us out then petered out

During the six years in India, studying Bengali at Shantiniketan.

He tottered from the plane, penniless and unshaven,

To hide away in the seediest bedsit Beeston could boast

Where night turned to day and vaguely he applied 

For jobs as clerk and court usher and drank in pubs with yobs.

When the crisis came – "I feel my head coming off my body’ –

I was ready and unready, making the necessary calls

To get a bed, to keep him on the ward, to visit and reassure 

Us both that some way out could be found.

The ‘Care Home’ was the next disaster, trying to cure

Schizophrenia with sticking plaster: "We don’t want 

Carers’ input, we call patients ‘residents’ and insist on chores

Not medication", then the letters of terrible abuse, the finding of a flat,

‘The discharge into the community.’

His ‘keyworker’ was the keyworker from hell: the more

Isaiah’s care fell apart the more she encouraged 

Him to blame us and ‘Make his life his own’, vital signs

Of decline ignored or consigned to files, ‘confidentiality’ reigned supreme.

Insidiously the way back to the ward unveiled

Over painful months, the self-neglect, the inappropriate remarks

In pubs, the neglected perforated eardrum, keeping

Company with his feckless cousins between their bouts in prison.

The pointless team meetings he was patted through,

My abrupt dismissal as carer at the keyworker’s instigation,

The admission we knew nothing of, the abscondings we were told of

And had to sort out, then the phone call from the ASW.

"We are about to section your son for six months, have you

Any comment?" Then the final absconding to London

From a fifteen minute break on PICU, to face his brother’s 

Drunken abuse, the police were kindness itself as they drove him to the secure unit.



Two nurses came by taxi from Leeds the next day to collect him 

The Newsam Centre’s like a hotel – Informality and first class treatment

Behind the locked doors he freezes before and whispers 

"Daddy, I was damned in hell but now I am God’s friend."

Note: PICU- Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit

Beeston- An inner city area of Leeds

ASW- Approved Social Worker
Written by Charles Bukowski | Create an image from this poem

Are You Drinking?

 washed-up, on shore, the old yellow notebook
 out again
 I write from the bed
 as I did last
 year.
 will see the doctor,
 Monday.
 "yes, doctor, weak legs, vertigo, head-
 aches and my back 
 hurts."
 "are you drinking?" he will ask.
 "are you getting your
exercise, your
 vitamins?"
 I think that I am just ill 
 with life, the same stale yet
 fluctuating
 factors.
 even at the track
 I watch the horses run by
 and it seems
 meaningless.
 I leave early after buying tickets on the
 remaining races.
 "taking off?" asks the motel 
 clerk.
 "yes, it's boring,"
 I tell him.
 "If you think it's boring 
 out there," he tells me, "you oughta be
 back here."
 so here I am
 propped up against my pillows
 again
 just an old guy
 just an old writer
 with a yellow
 notebook.
 something is 
 walking across the
 floor
 toward 
 me.
 oh, it's just 
 my cat
 this
 time.
Written by Robert Burns | Create an image from this poem

113. A Dedication to Gavin Hamilton Esq

 EXPECT na, sir, in this narration,
A fleechin, fleth’rin Dedication,
To roose you up, an’ ca’ you guid,
An’ sprung o’ great an’ noble bluid,
Because ye’re surnam’d like His Grace—
Perhaps related to the race:
Then, when I’m tir’d-and sae are ye,
Wi’ mony a fulsome, sinfu’ lie,
Set up a face how I stop short,
For fear your modesty be hurt.


 This may do—maun do, sir, wi’ them wha
Maun please the great folk for a wamefou;
For me! sae laigh I need na bow,
For, Lord be thankit, I can plough;
And when I downa yoke a naig,
Then, Lord be thankit, I can beg;
Sae I shall say—an’ that’s nae flatt’rin—
It’s just sic Poet an’ sic Patron.


 The Poet, some guid angel help him,
Or else, I fear, some ill ane skelp him!
He may do weel for a’ he’s done yet,
But only—he’s no just begun yet.


 The Patron (sir, ye maun forgie me;
I winna lie, come what will o’ me),
On ev’ry hand it will allow’d be,
He’s just—nae better than he should be.


 I readily and freely grant,
He downa see a poor man want;
What’s no his ain, he winna tak it;
What ance he says, he winna break it;
Ought he can lend he’ll no refus’t,
Till aft his guidness is abus’d;
And rascals whiles that do him wrang,
Ev’n that, he does na mind it lang;
As master, landlord, husband, father,
He does na fail his part in either.


 But then, nae thanks to him for a’that;
Nae godly symptom ye can ca’ that;
It’s naething but a milder feature
Of our poor, sinfu’ corrupt nature:
Ye’ll get the best o’ moral works,
’Mang black Gentoos, and pagan Turks,
Or hunters wild on Ponotaxi,
Wha never heard of orthodoxy.
That he’s the poor man’s friend in need,
The gentleman in word and deed,
It’s no thro’ terror of damnation;
It’s just a carnal inclination.


 Morality, thou deadly bane,
Thy tens o’ thousands thou hast slain!
Vain is his hope, whase stay an’ trust is
In moral mercy, truth, and justice!


 No—stretch a point to catch a plack:
Abuse a brother to his back;
Steal through the winnock frae a whore,
But point the rake that taks the door;
Be to the poor like ony whunstane,
And haud their noses to the grunstane;
Ply ev’ry art o’ legal thieving;
No matter—stick to sound believing.


 Learn three-mile pray’rs, an’ half-mile graces,
Wi’ weel-spread looves, an’ lang, wry faces;
Grunt up a solemn, lengthen’d groan,
And damn a’ parties but your own;
I’ll warrant they ye’re nae deceiver,
A steady, sturdy, staunch believer.


 O ye wha leave the springs o’ Calvin,
For gumlie dubs of your ain delvin!
Ye sons of Heresy and Error,
Ye’ll some day squeel in quaking terror,
When Vengeance draws the sword in wrath.
And in the fire throws the sheath;
When Ruin, with his sweeping besom,
Just frets till Heav’n commission gies him;
While o’er the harp pale Misery moans,
And strikes the ever-deep’ning tones,
Still louder shrieks, and heavier groans!


 Your pardon, sir, for this digression:
I maist forgat my Dedication;
But when divinity comes ’cross me,
My readers still are sure to lose me.


 So, sir, you see ’twas nae daft vapour;
But I maturely thought it proper,
When a’ my works I did review,
To dedicate them, sir, to you:
Because (ye need na tak it ill),
I thought them something like yoursel’.


 Then patronize them wi’ your favor,
And your petitioner shall ever——
I had amaist said, ever pray,
But that’s a word I need na say;
For prayin, I hae little skill o’t,
I’m baith dead-sweer, an’ wretched ill o’t;
But I’se repeat each poor man’s pray’r,
That kens or hears about you, sir.——


 “May ne’er Misfortune’s gowling bark,
Howl thro’ the dwelling o’ the clerk!
May ne’er his genrous, honest heart,
For that same gen’rous spirit smart!
May Kennedy’s far-honour’d name
Lang beet his hymeneal flame,
Till Hamiltons, at least a dizzen,
Are frae their nuptial labours risen:
Five bonie lasses round their table,
And sev’n braw fellows, stout an’ able,
To serve their king an’ country weel,
By word, or pen, or pointed steel!
May health and peace, with mutual rays,
Shine on the ev’ning o’ his days;
Till his wee, curlie John’s ier-oe,
When ebbing life nae mair shall flow,
The last, sad, mournful rites bestow!”


 I will not wind a lang conclusion,
With complimentary effusion;
But, whilst your wishes and endeavours
Are blest with Fortune’s smiles and favours,
I am, dear sir, with zeal most fervent,
Your much indebted, humble servant.


 But if (which Pow’rs above prevent)
That iron-hearted carl, Want,
Attended, in his grim advances,
By sad mistakes, and black mischances,
While hopes, and joys, and pleasures fly him,
Make you as poor a dog as I am,
Your humble servant then no more;
For who would humbly serve the poor?
But, by a poor man’s hopes in Heav’n!
While recollection’s pow’r is giv’n—
If, in the vale of humble life,
The victim sad of fortune’s strife,
I, thro’ the tender-gushing tear,
Should recognise my master dear;
If friendless, low, we meet together,
Then, sir, your hand—my Friend and Brother!

Book: Reflection on the Important Things