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Best Famous Braggart Poems

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Written by Allen Ginsberg | Create an image from this poem

Plutonian Ode

 I

What new element before us unborn in nature? Is there
 a new thing under the Sun?
At last inquisitive Whitman a modern epic, detonative,
 Scientific theme
First penned unmindful by Doctor Seaborg with poison-
 ous hand, named for Death's planet through the 
 sea beyond Uranus
whose chthonic ore fathers this magma-teared Lord of 
 Hades, Sire of avenging Furies, billionaire Hell-
 King worshipped once
with black sheep throats cut, priests's face averted from
 underground mysteries in single temple at Eleusis,
Spring-green Persephone nuptialed to his inevitable
 Shade, Demeter mother of asphodel weeping dew,
her daughter stored in salty caverns under white snow, 
 black hail, grey winter rain or Polar ice, immemor-
 able seasons before
Fish flew in Heaven, before a Ram died by the starry
 bush, before the Bull stamped sky and earth
or Twins inscribed their memories in clay or Crab'd
 flood
washed memory from the skull, or Lion sniffed the
 lilac breeze in Eden--
Before the Great Year began turning its twelve signs,
 ere constellations wheeled for twenty-four thousand
 sunny years
slowly round their axis in Sagittarius, one hundred 
 sixty-seven thousand times returning to this night

Radioactive Nemesis were you there at the beginning 
 black dumb tongueless unsmelling blast of Disil-
 lusion?
I manifest your Baptismal Word after four billion years
I guess your birthday in Earthling Night, I salute your
 dreadful presence last majestic as the Gods,
Sabaot, Jehova, Astapheus, Adonaeus, Elohim, Iao, 
 Ialdabaoth, Aeon from Aeon born ignorant in an
 Abyss of Light,
Sophia's reflections glittering thoughtful galaxies, whirl-
 pools of starspume silver-thin as hairs of Einstein!
Father Whitman I celebrate a matter that renders Self
 oblivion!
Grand Subject that annihilates inky hands & pages'
 prayers, old orators' inspired Immortalities,
I begin your chant, openmouthed exhaling into spacious
 sky over silent mills at Hanford, Savannah River,
 Rocky Flats, Pantex, Burlington, Albuquerque
I yell thru Washington, South Carolina, Colorado, 
 Texas, Iowa, New Mexico,
Where nuclear reactors creat a new Thing under the 
 Sun, where Rockwell war-plants fabricate this death
 stuff trigger in nitrogen baths,
Hanger-Silas Mason assembles the terrified weapon
 secret by ten thousands, & where Manzano Moun-
 tain boasts to store
its dreadful decay through two hundred forty millenia
 while our Galaxy spirals around its nebulous core.
I enter your secret places with my mind, I speak with your presence, I roar your Lion Roar with mortal mouth.
One microgram inspired to one lung, ten pounds of heavy metal dust adrift slow motion over grey Alps the breadth of the planet, how long before your radiance speeds blight and death to sentient beings? Enter my body or not I carol my spirit inside you, Unnaproachable Weight, O heavy heavy Element awakened I vocalize your con- sciousness to six worlds I chant your absolute Vanity.
Yeah monster of Anger birthed in fear O most Ignorant matter ever created unnatural to Earth! Delusion of metal empires! Destroyer of lying Scientists! Devourer of covetous Generals, Incinerator of Armies & Melter of Wars! Judgement of judgements, Divine Wind over vengeful nations, Molester of Presidents, Death-Scandal of Capital politics! Ah civilizations stupidly indus- trious! Canker-Hex on multitudes learned or illiterate! Manu- factured Spectre of human reason! O solidified imago of practicioner in Black Arts I dare your reality, I challenge your very being! I publish your cause and effect! I turn the wheel of Mind on your three hundred tons! Your name enters mankind's ear! I embody your ultimate powers! My oratory advances on your vaunted Mystery! This breath dispels your braggart fears! I sing your form at last behind your concrete & iron walls inside your fortress of rubber & translucent silicon shields in filtered cabinets and baths of lathe oil, My voice resounds through robot glove boxes & ignot cans and echoes in electric vaults inert of atmo- sphere, I enter with spirit out loud into your fuel rod drums underground on soundless thrones and beds of lead O density! This weightless anthem trumpets transcendent through hidden chambers and breaks through iron doors into the Infernal Room! Over your dreadful vibration this measured harmony floats audible, these jubilant tones are honey and milk and wine-sweet water Poured on the stone black floor, these syllables are barley groats I scatter on the Reactor's core, I call your name with hollow vowels, I psalm your Fate close by, my breath near deathless ever at your side to Spell your destiny, I set this verse prophetic on your mausoleum walls to seal you up Eternally with Diamond Truth! O doomed Plutonium.
II The Bar surveys Plutonian history from midnight lit with Mercury Vapor streetlamps till in dawn's early light he contemplates a tranquil politic spaced out between Nations' thought-forms proliferating bureaucratic & horrific arm'd, Satanic industries projected sudden with Five Hundred Billion Dollar Strength around the world same time this text is set in Boulder, Colorado before front range of Rocky Mountains twelve miles north of Rocky Flats Nuclear Facility in United States of North America, Western Hemi- sphere of planet Earth six months and fourteen days around our Solar System in a Spiral Galaxy the local year after Dominion of the last God nineteen hundred seventy eight Completed as yellow hazed dawn clouds brighten East, Denver city white below Blue sky transparent rising empty deep & spacious to a morning star high over the balcony above some autos sat with wheels to curb downhill from Flatiron's jagged pine ridge, sunlit mountain meadows sloped to rust-red sandstone cliffs above brick townhouse roofs as sparrows waked whistling through Marine Street's summer green leafed trees.
III This ode to you O Poets and Orators to come, you father Whitman as I join your side, you Congress and American people, you present meditators, spiritual friends & teachers, you O Master of the Diamond Arts, Take this wheel of syllables in hand, these vowels and consonants to breath's end take this inhalation of black poison to your heart, breath out this blessing from your breast on our creation forests cities oceans deserts rocky flats and mountains in the Ten Directions pacify with exhalation, enrich this Plutonian Ode to explode its empty thunder through earthen thought-worlds Magnetize this howl with heartless compassion, destroy this mountain of Plutonium with ordinary mind and body speech, thus empower this Mind-guard spirit gone out, gone out, gone beyond, gone beyond me, Wake space, so Ah! July 14, 1978


Written by Ogden Nash | Create an image from this poem

A Tale Of The Thirteenth Floor

 The hands of the clock were reaching high
In an old midtown hotel;
I name no name, but its sordid fame
Is table talk in hell.
I name no name, but hell's own flame Illumes the lobby garish, A gilded snare just off Times Square For the maidens of the parish.
The revolving door swept the grimy floor Like a crinoline grotesque, And a lowly bum from an ancient slum Crept furtively past the desk.
His footsteps sift into the lift As a knife in the sheath is slipped, Stealthy and swift into the lift As a vampire into a crypt.
Old Maxie, the elevator boy, Was reading an ode by Shelley, But he dropped the ode as it were a toad When the gun jammed into his belly.
There came a whisper as soft as mud In the bed of an old canal: "Take me up to the suite of Pinball Pete, The rat who betrayed my gal.
" The lift doth rise with groans and sighs Like a duchess for the waltz, Then in middle shaft, like a duchess daft, It changes its mind and halts.
The bum bites lip as the landlocked ship Doth neither fall nor rise, But Maxie the elevator boy Regards him with burning eyes.
"First, to explore the thirteenth floor," Says Maxie, "would be wise.
" Quoth the bum, "There is moss on your double cross, I have been this way before, I have cased the joint at every point, And there is no thirteenth floor.
The architect he skipped direct From twelve unto fourteen, There is twelve below and fourteen above, And nothing in between, For the vermin who dwell in this hotel Could never abide thirteen.
" Said Max, "Thirteen, that floor obscene, Is hidden from human sight; But once a year it doth appear, On this Walpurgis Night.
Ere you peril your soul in murderer's role, Heed those who sinned of yore; The path they trod led away from God, And onto the thirteenth floor, Where those they slew, a grisly crew, Reproach them forevermore.
"We are higher than twelve and below fourteen," Said Maxie to the bum, "And the sickening draft that taints the shaft Is a whiff of kingdom come.
The sickening draft that taints the shaft Blows through the devil's door!" And he squashed the latch like a fungus patch, And revealed the thirteenth floor.
It was cheap cigars like lurid scars That glowed in the rancid gloom, The murk was a-boil with fusel oil And the reek of stale perfume.
And round and round there dragged and wound A loathsome conga chain, The square and the hep in slow lock step, The slayer and the slain.
(For the souls of the victims ascend on high, But their bodies below remain.
) The clean souls fly to their home in the sky, But their bodies remain below To pursue the Cain who each has slain And harry him to and fro.
When life is extinct each corpse is linked To its gibbering murderer, As a chicken is bound with wire around The neck of a killer cur.
Handcuffed to Hate come Doctor Waite (He tastes the poison now), And Ruth and Judd and a head of blood With horns upon its brow.
Up sashays Nan with her feathery fan From Floradora bright; She never hung for Caesar Young But she's dancing with him tonight.
Here's the bulging hip and the foam-flecked lip Of the mad dog, Vincent Coll, And over there that ill-met pair, Becker and Rosenthal, Here's Legs and Dutch and a dozen such Of braggart bullies and brutes, And each one bends 'neath the weight of friends Who are wearing concrete suits.
Now the damned make way for the double-damned Who emerge with shuffling pace From the nightmare zone of persons unknown, With neither name nor face.
And poor Dot King to one doth cling, Joined in a ghastly jig, While Elwell doth jape at a goblin shape And tickle it with his wig.
See Rothstein pass like breath on a glass, The original Black Sox kid; He riffles the pack, riding piggyback On the killer whose name he hid.
And smeared like brine on a slavering swine, Starr Faithful, once so fair, Drawn from the sea to her debauchee, With the salt sand in her hair.
And still they come, and from the bum The icy sweat doth spray; His white lips scream as in a dream, "For God's sake, let's away! If ever I meet with Pinball Pete I will not seek his gore, Lest a treadmill grim I must trudge with him On the hideous thirteenth floor.
" "For you I rejoice," said Maxie's voice, "And I bid you go in peace, But I am late for a dancing date That nevermore will cease.
So remember, friend, as your way you wend, That it would have happened to you, But I turned the heat on Pinball Pete; You see - I had a daughter, too!" The bum reached out and he tried to shout, But the door in his face was slammed, And silent as stone he rode down alone From the floor of the double-damned.
Written by Mary Darby Robinson | Create an image from this poem

The Trumpeter an Old English Tale

 It was in the days of a gay British King
(In the old fashion'd custom of merry-making)
The Palace of Woodstock with revels did ring,
While they sang and carous'd--one and all:
For the monarch a plentiful treasury had,
And his Courtiers were pleas'd, and no visage was sad,
And the knavish and foolish with drinking were mad,
While they sat in the Banquetting hall.
Some talk'd of their Valour, and some of their Race, And vaunted, till vaunting was black in the face; Some bragg'd for a title, and some for a place, And, like braggarts, they bragg'd one and all! Some spoke of their scars in the Holy Crusade, Some boasted the banner of Fame they display'd, And some sang their Loves in the soft serenade As they sat in the Banquetting hall.
And here sat a Baron, and there sat a Knight, And here stood a Page in his habit all bright, And here a young Soldier in armour bedight With a Friar carous'd, one and all.
Some play'd on the dulcimer, some on the lute, And some, who had nothing to talk of, were mute, Till the Morning, awakened, put on her grey suit-- And the Lark hover'd over the Hall.
It was in a vast gothic Hall that they sate, And the Tables were cover'd with rich gilded plate, And the King and his minions were toping in state, Till their noddles turn'd round, one and all:-- And the Sun through the tall painted windows 'gan peep, And the Vassals were sleeping, or longing to sleep, Though the Courtiers, still waking, their revels did keep, While the minstrels play'd sweet, in the Hall.
And, now in their Cups, the bold topers began To call for more wine, from the cellar yeoman, And, while each one replenish'd his goblet or can, The Monarch thus spake to them all: "It is fit that the nobles do just what they please, "That the Great live in idleness, riot, and ease, "And that those should be favor'd, who mark my decrees, "And should feast in the Banquetting Hall.
"It is fit," said the Monarch, "that riches should claim "A passport to freedom, to honor, and fame,-- "That the poor should be humble, obedient, and tame, "And, in silence, submit--one and all.
"That the wise and the holy should toil for the Great, "That the Vassals should tend at the tables of state, "That the Pilgrim should--pray for our souls at the gate "While we feast in our Banquetting Hall.
"That the low-lineag'd CARLES should be scantily fed-- "That their drink should be small, and still smaller their bread; "That their wives and their daughters to ruin be led, "And submit to our will, one and all ! "It is fit, that whoever I choose to defend-- "Shall be courted, and feasted, and lov'd as a friend, "While before them the good and enlighten'd shall bend, "While they sit in the Banquetting Hall.
" Now the Topers grew bold, and each talk'd of his right, One would fain be a Baron, another a Knight; And another, (because at the Tournament fight He had vanquished his foes, one and all) Demanded a track of rich lands; and rich fare; And of stout serving Vassals a plentiful share; With a lasting exemption from penance and pray'r And a throne in the Banquetting Hall.
But ONE, who had neither been valiant nor wise, With a tone of importance, thus vauntingly cries, "My Leige he knows how a good subject to prize-- "And I therefore demand--before all-- "I this Castle possess: and the right to maintain "Five hundred stout Bowmen to follow my train, "And as many strong Vassals to guard my domain "As the Lord of the Banquetting Hall! "I have fought with all nations, and bled in the field, "See my lance is unshiver'd, tho' batter'd my shield, "I have combatted legions, yet never would yield "And the Enemy fled--one and all ! "I have rescued a thousand fair Donnas, in Spain, "I have left in gay France, every bosom in pain.
"I have conquer'd the Russian, the Prussian, the Dane, "And will reign in the Banquetting Hall!" The Monarch now rose, with majestical look, And his sword from the scabbard of Jewels he took, And the Castle with laughter and ribaldry shook.
While the braggart accosted thus he: "I will give thee a place that will suit thy demand, "What to thee, is more fitting than Vassals or Land-- "I will give thee,--what justice and valour command, "For a TRUMPETER bold--thou shalt be!" Now the revellers rose, and began to complain-- While they menanc'd with gestures, and frown'd with disdain, And declar'd, that the nobles were fitter to reign Than a Prince so unruly as He.
But the Monarch cried, sternly, they taunted him so, "From this moment the counsel of fools I forego-- "And on Wisdom and Virtue will honors bestow "For such, ONLY, are welcome to Me!" So saying, he quitted the Banquetting Hall, And leaving his Courtiers and flatterers all-- Straightway for his Confessor loudly 'gan call "O ! Father ! now listen !" said he: "I have feasted the Fool, I have pamper'd the Knave, "I have scoff'd at the wise, and neglected the brave-- "And here, Holy Man, Absolution I crave-- "For a penitent now I will be.
" From that moment the Monarch grew sober and good, (And nestled with Birds of a different brood,) For he found that the pathway which wisdom pursu'd Was pleasant, safe, quiet, and even ! That by Temperance, Virtue and liberal deeds, By nursing the flowrets, and crushing the weeds, The loftiest Traveller always succeeds-- For his journey will lead him to HEAV'N.
Written by Dorothy Parker | Create an image from this poem

Braggart

 The days will rally, wreathing
Their crazy tarantelle;
And you must go on breathing,
But I'll be safe in hell.
Like January weather, The years will bite and smart, And pull your bones together To wrap your chattering heart.
The pretty stuff you're made of Will crack and crease and dry.
The thing you are afraid of Will look from every eye.
You will go faltering after The bright, imperious line, And split your throat on laughter, And burn your eyes with brine.
You will be frail and musty With peering, furtive head, Whilst I am young and lusty Among the roaring dead.
Written by Ralph Waldo Emerson | Create an image from this poem

Mithridates

 I cannot spare water or wine,
Tobacco-leaf, or poppy, or rose;
From the earth-poles to the Line,
All between that works or grows,
Every thing is kin of mine.
Give me agates for my meat, Give me cantharids to eat, From air and ocean bring me foods, From all zones and altitudes.
From all natures, sharp and slimy, Salt and basalt, wild and tame, Tree, and lichen, ape, sea-lion, Bird and reptile be my game.
Ivy for my fillet band, Blinding dogwood in my hand, Hemlock for my sherbet cull me, And the prussic juice to lull me, Swing me in the upas boughs, Vampire-fanned, when I carouse.
Too long shut in strait and few, Thinly dieted on dew, I will use the world, and sift it, To a thousand humors shift it, As you spin a cherry.
O doleful ghosts, and goblins merry, O all you virtues, methods, mights; Means, appliances, delights; Reputed wrongs, and braggart rights; Smug routine, and things allowed; Minorities, things under cloud! Hither! take me, use me, fill me, Vein and artery, though ye kill me; God! I will not be an owl, But sun me in the Capitol.


Written by Stephen Crane | Create an image from this poem

Blustering God

 i

Blustering God,
Stamping across the sky
With loud swagger,
I fear You not.
No, though from Your highest heaven You plunge Your spear at my heart, I fear You not.
No, not if the blow Is as the lightning blasting a tree, I fear You not, puffing braggart.
ii If Thou canst see into my heart That I fear Thee not, Thou wilt see why I fear Thee not, And why it is right.
So threaten not, Thou, with Thy bloody spears, Else Thy sublime ears shall hear curses.
iii Withal, there is One whom I fear: I fear to see grief upon that face.
Perchance, friend, He is not your God; If so, spit upon Him.
By it you will do no profanity.
But I -- Ah, sooner would I die Than see tears in those eyes of my soul.
Written by John McCrae | Create an image from this poem

The Song Of The Derelict

 Ye have sung me your songs, ye have chanted your rimes
(I scorn your beguiling, O sea!)
Ye fondle me now, but to strike me betimes.
(A treacherous lover, the sea!) Once I saw as I lay, half-awash in the night A hull in the gloom -- a quick hail -- and a light And I lurched o'er to leeward and saved her for spite From the doom that ye meted to me.
I was sister to `Terrible', seventy-four, (Yo ho! for the swing of the sea!) And ye sank her in fathoms a thousand or more (Alas! for the might of the sea!) Ye taunt me and sing me her fate for a sign! What harm can ye wreak more on me or on mine? Ho braggart! I care not for boasting of thine -- A fig for the wrath of the sea! Some night to the lee of the land I shall steal, (Heigh-ho to be home from the sea!) No pilot but Death at the rudderless wheel, (None knoweth the harbor as he!) To lie where the slow tide creeps hither and fro And the shifting sand laps me around, for I know That my gallant old crew are in Port long ago -- For ever at peace with the sea!
Written by William Topaz McGonagall | Create an image from this poem

Grif of the Bloody Hand

 In an immense wood in the south of Kent,
There lived a band of robbers which caused the people discontent;
And the place they infested was called the Weald,
Where they robbed wayside travellers and left them dead on the field.
Their leader was called Grif, of the Bloody Hand, And so well skilled in sword practice there's few could him withstand; And sometimes they robbed villages when nothing else could be gained, In the year of 1336, when King Edward the III.
reigned.
The dress the robbers wore was deep coloured black, And in courage and evil deeds they didn't lack; And Grif.
Of the Bloody Hand, called them his devils, Because they were ever ready to perform all kinds of ills.
'Twas towards the close of a very stormy day, A stranger walked through the wood in search of Grif, without dismay; And as the daylight faded he quickened his pace and ran, Never suspecting that in his rear he was followed by a man.
And as the man to the stranger drew near, He demanded in a gruff voice, what seek you here; And when the stranger saw him he trembled with fear, Because upon his head he wore a steel helmet, and in his hand he bore a spear.
What seek you here repeated the dark habited man, Come, sir, speak out, and answer me if you can; Are you then one of the devils demanded the stranger faintly, That I am said the man, now what matters that to thee.
Then repeated the stranger, sir, you have put me to a stand, But if I guess aright, you are Grif, of the Bloody Hand; That I am replied Grif, and to confess it I'm not afraid, Oh! Well then I require your service and you'll be well paid.
But first I must know thy name, I, that's the point, Then you shall have the help of my band conjoint; Before any of my men on your mission goes, Well then replied the stranger call me Martin Dubois.
Well sir, come tell me what you want as quick as you can, Well then replied Dubois do you know one Halbert Evesham That dwells in the little village of Brenchley, Who has a foster child called Violet Evesham of rare beauty.
And you seek my aid to carry her off, Ha! Ha! A love affair, nay do not think I scoff; For you shall enjoy her sir before this time to-morrow, If that will satisfy you, or help to drown your sorrow.
And now sir what is your terms with me, Before I carry off Violet Evesham from the village of Brenchley; Well Grif, one thousand marks shall be the pay, 'Tis agreed then cried Grif, and you shall enjoy her without delay.
Then the bargains struck, uttered Grif, how many men will you require, Come sir, speak, you can have all of my band if you desire; Oh, thanks sir, replied Dubois, I consider four men will do, That's to say sir, if the four men's courage be true.
And to-morrow sir send the men to Brenchley without delay, And remember one thousand marks will be the pay; And the plan I propose is to carry her to the wood, And I will be there to receive her, the plan is good.
And on the next morning Grif, of the bloody Hand, Told off four of his best men and gave them strict command; To carry off Violet Evesham from the village of Brenchley, And to go about it fearlessly and to make no delay.
And when ye have captured her carry her to the wood, Now remember men I wish my injunctions to be understood; All right, captain, we'll do as we've been told, And carry her off all right for the sake of the gold.
So on the next morning before the villagers were out of bed, The four robbers marched into the village of Brenchley without any dread; And boldly entered Violet Evesham's house and carried her, away, While loudly the beautiful girl shrieked in dismay.
But when her old father missed her through the village he ran, And roused the villagers to a man; And a great number of them gathered, and Wat Tyler at their head, And all armed to the teeth, and towards the wood they quickly sped.
And once within the wood Wat Tyler cried, where is Violet Evesham, Then Grif, of the Bloody Hand cried, what ails the man; My dear sir I assure you that Violet Evesham is not here.
Therefore good people I advise ye to retire from here.
No! I'll not back cried Wat Tyler, until I rescue Violet Evesham, Therefore liar, and devil, defend thyself if you can; Ay replied Grif, that I will thou braggart loon, And with my sword you silly boy prepare to meet thy doom.
Then they rained their blows on each other as thick as hail, Until at last Grif's strength began to fail; Then Wat leaped upon him and threw him to the ground, Then his men fled into the wood that were standing around.
Then the villagers shouted hurrah for Wat Tyler and victory, And to search for Violet Evesham they willingly did agree; And they searched the wood and found her at the foot of a tree, And when she was taken home the villagers danced with glee.
And 'tis said Wat Tyler married Violet Evesham, And there was great rejoicing among the villagers at the marriage so grand; And Wat Tyler captured Dubois, and bound him to a tree, And left him there struggling hard to gain his liberty.
Written by Gerard Manley Hopkins | Create an image from this poem

The Silver Jubilee

 To James First Bishop of Shrewsbury on the 
25th Year of his Episcopate July 28.
1876 1 THOUGH no high-hung bells or din Of braggart bugles cry it in— What is sound? Nature's round Makes the Silver Jubilee.
2 Five and twenty years have run Since sacred fountains to the sun Sprang, that but now were shut, Showering Silver Jubilee.
3 Feasts, when we shall fall asleep, Shrewsbury may see others keep; None but you this her true, This her Silver Jubilee.
4 Not today we need lament Your wealth of life is some way spent: Toil has shed round your head Silver but for Jubilee.
5 Then for her whose velvet vales Should have pealed with welcome, Wales, Let the chime of a rhyme Utter Silver Jubilee.
Written by William Topaz McGonagall | Create an image from this poem

The Nithsdale Widow and Her Son

 'Twas in the year of 1746, on a fine summer afternoon,
When trees and flowers were in full bloom,
That widow Riddel sat knitting stockings on a little rustic seat,
Which her only son had made for her, which was very neat.
The cottage she lived in was in the wilds of Nithsdale, Where many a poor soul had cause to bewail The loss of their shealings, that were burned to the ground, By a party of fierce British dragoons that chanced to come round.
While widow Riddel sat in her garden she heard an unusual sound, And near by was her son putting some seeds into the ground, And as she happened to look down into the little strath below She espied a party of dragoons coming towards her very slow.
And hearing of the cruelties committed by them, she shook with fear.
And she cried to her son, "Jamie, thae sodgers are coming here!" While the poor old widow's heart with fear was panting, And she cried, "Mercy on us, Jamie, what can they be wanting?" Next minute the dragoons were in front of the cottage door, When one of them dismounted, and loudly did roar, "Is there any rebels, old woman, skulking hereabouts?" "Oh, no, Sir, no! believe my word without any doubts.
" "Well, so much the better, my good woman, for you and them; But, old girl, let's have something to eat, me, and my men": "Blithely, sir, blithely! ye're welcome to what I hae," When she bustled into the cottage without delay.
And she brought out oaten cakes, sweet milk, and cheese, Which the soldiers devoured greedily at their ease, And of which they made a hearty meal, But, for such kind treatment, ungrateful they did feel.
Then one of the soldiers asked her how she got her living: She replied, "God unto her was always giving; And wi' the bit garden, alang wi' the bit coo, And wi' what the laddie can earn we are sincerely thankfu'.
" To this pitiful detail of her circumstances the villain made no reply, But drew a pistol from his holster, and cried, "Your cow must die!" Then riding up to the poor cow, discharged it through her head, When the innocent animal instantly fell down dead.
Not satisfied with this the merciless ruffian leaped the little garden wall, And with his horse trod down everything, the poor widow's all, Then having finished this barbarous act of direst cruelty, The monster rejoined his comrades shouting right merrily: "There, you old devil, that's what you really deserve, For you and your rascally rebels ought to starve"; Then the party rode off, laughing at the mischief that was done, Leaving the poor widow to mourn and her only son.
When the widow found herself deprived of her all, She wrung her hands in despair, and on God did call, Then rushed into the cottage and flung herself on her bed, And, with sorrow, in a few days she was dead.
And, during her illness, her poor boy never left her bedside, There he remained, night and day, his mother's wants to provide, And make her forget the misfortunes that had befallen them, All through that villainous and hard-hearted party of men.
On the fourth day her son followed her remains to the grave.
And during the burial service he most manfully did behave, And when the body was laid in the grave, from tears he could not refrain, But instantly fled from that desolated place, and never returned again.
Thirteen years after this the famous battle of Minden was fought By Prince Ferdinand against the French, who brought them to nought; And there was a large body of British horse, under Lord George Sackville, And strange! the widow's son was at the battle all the while.
And on the evening after the battle there were assembled in a tavern A party of British dragoons, loudly boasting and swearing, When one of them swore he had done more than any of them-- A much more meritorious action-- which he defied them to condemn .
"What was that, Tam, what was that, Tam?" shouted his companions at once.
"Tell us, Tam; tell us, Tam, was that while in France?" "No!" he cried, "it was starving an old witch, while in Nithsdale, By shooting her cow and riding down her greens, that is the tale.
" "And don't you repent it?" exclaimed a young soldier, present.
"Repent what?" cried the braggart; "No! I feel quite content.
" "Then, villain!" cried the youth, unsheathing his sword, "That woman was my mother, so not another word! "So draw, and defend yourself, without more delay, For I swear you shall not live another day!" Then the villain sprang to his feet, and a combat ensued, But in three passes he was entirely subdued.
Young Riddell afterwards rose to be a captain In the British service, and gained a very good name For being a daring soldier, wherever he went, And as for killing the ruffian dragoon he never did repent.

Book: Shattered Sighs