Two Husbands

 Unpenitent, I grieve to state,
Two good men stood by heaven's gate,
Saint Peter coming to await.

The stopped the Keeper of the Keys,
Saying: "What suppliants are these,
Who wait me not on bended knees?

"To get my heavenly Okay
A man should have been used to pray,
Or suffered in some grievous way.
"

"Oh I have suffered," cried the first.

"Of wives I had the wicked worst,
Who made my life a plague accurst.


"Such martyrdom no tongue can tell;
In mercy's name it is not well
To doom me to another hell.
"

Saint Peter said: "I comprehend;
But tribulations have their end.

The gate is open, - go my friend.
"

Then said the second: "What of me?
More I deserve to pass than he,
For I've been wedded twice, you see.
"

Saint Peter looked at him a while,
And then he answered with a smile:
"Your application I will file.


"Yet twice in double yoke you've driven .
 .
 .

Though sinners with our Saints we leaven,
We don't take IMBECILES in heaven.
"

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