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He always got a Fantastic Four story to tell,
like how yesterday
        he Stretch saved 
all those people from dying
When he ran into the Torch-ed, burning building
		      before it fell

Another urban legend that he loves to spin:
said he school hall walked into a death hail of bullets
that an automatic weapon was rapid firing
Professed he had no Avenger fear,
as he moved closer without any Hulk body armor on
          And his trusty Iron Man repulsor sidearm
was taking a gun nap snooze in a no-parking tow zone
But still he courageously Spidey web pressed on,
and made a superhero arrest with his Peter Parker gadget phone
How he Thor-oughly engaged and Vision outsmarted the gunman
is still a Big Mac with Swiss cheese mystery ... 
		so many holes — 
Every dazed survivor telling a different story,
and the only thing being told with the same dramatic flair:
			If he was there,
then he must have ghost-cloaked disappeared into thin air

Some newspaper hack
coined him: “Captain Save ‘Em,”
and instantly he liked the sound of the name
      Still, he shortened it a bit,
to add a little more crunch
“Cap’n” was a serial article America sensation
This media munch captured
         the nation’s 
curious imagination

Tho’ no one ever saw him in action before,
		his tweet boasts 
just couldn’t be ignored
Had the best secret identity,
		his press secretary sez
He could hide in plain sight,
and no one should ever suspect
Now, who would believe, 
	Cap’n Save ‘Em was the prez?!

Tho’ no one ever saw him in action before
His archenemies mock: Saying Cap’n Save ‘Em
	        talks America tough, 
like a Ben Grimm action-hero doll toy
	  But “The Thing” is, 
his name should really be “Invisible Boy”

Cap’n Save ‘Em ...
always a day late and a few dollars short
Cap’n Save ‘Em ...
no credible witnesses on the police report — 
‘Cause no one ever saw him in action before

Cap’n said he coulda shield saved you,
if only you had sent out an SOS tweet distress,
with the Trump trademark call sign: $$$
$how some Mo’ money, $mo’ money ... $mo’ money
Pay in advance,
	and you don’t have to drop a dime
Cap’n Save ‘Em will get there
	before there’s an actual seen crime

But if the payment is late,
      Cap’n Save ‘Em 
		always seems to get there,
just as the smoke settles and clears ...
      Cap’n Save ‘Em,
the prez says: can’t be in two places at once
Especially, when there might not be cheers ... 
definitely, where there will be jeers
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