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Down, down, down, further and further I tumble, once again into the rabbit hole looking for my Alice. I am swallowed by an avalanche of darkness, bumping into slippery walls that propel me further into the void, back among the other lost boys. Dazed and confused, I am trapped in a bleached out, made up world, surrounded by mountains and valleys of half-truths, all vaguely familiar; perhaps from another visit?

The wind peeks around the corner as rust colored leaves crunch under my feet and I find it impossible to feel solid ground, always sliding back to where I began, wondering if all rabbit holes are like this? I see a frosted gray sky that makes me feel small and lost, as I close my eyes to block a haunted memory. I am desperate to find my way home before the dark creatures of this endless night seize another helpless victim.

I stumble ahead to seek safe harbor from the sting of the wind, finding myself captive in the same dream; always awake, always with no way out. I turn to see whose voice I hear, but only the barren winter tree limbs stare back, and they refuse to bear witness to the words I think I may have heard. It is the curse of listening to the constant staccato sound of my own voice until I barely know to whom I am talking.

Swamped by the darkness, I stumble into a gaping hole in the middle of this endless dream sequence; a portal to a never-ending maze, surrounded by unreal images that float on wisps of air. It is a turn of events I never seem to be able to escape.

Suddenly a frigid blast of air races through the rabbit hole, and sucks me upward as I try to grasp the shimmering walls, momentarily sliding back, desperate to stab a toe hold in reality. I brace myself against the wall and reach up, determined not to fall back into another adventure in the rabbit hole and its never-ending realm of repetition.

I am able to scramble out, slamming right into the gate keeper; a naked, smiling temptress, mad as a hatter. I straighten up, and with my last shred of fallen dignity, vow this was my last adventure down the rabbit hole. She nods her head, knowing she has heard all this before. This is the curse of love.
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