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I got home late from working one night
My eyes felt painful, they didn't feel right
I said to my wife “my eyes feel strange"
She said “it could be eyestrain or even your age"

We laughed about that, I was only forty four
I’d get seen tomorrow when we went to the store
I looked in on the kids, and then  went to bed
My eyes were stinging; all I could see was red.

The next day I woke up and lay there in fright
And I couldn't tell if it was daytime or night
I knew I was awake but I just couldn't see
And prayed to God it was only temporary.

My wife took me to hospital for answers to find
And after the x- rays said that I'd gone blind 
“The x-ray shows damage but more tests we'll do
When we get the results back we'll send for you".

"At this stage I don't want to give you false hope
But of course in the meantime we'll help you cope"
The reality of those words I just wanted to die
My wife was in shock and she started to cry.

I was in a dark place ;wanted to end my life
But all I could think of was my kids and my wife.
Daily tasks were a nightmare I struggled to shave 
And all I wanted to do was just lie in my grave.

Home was a struggle; I couldn't find my way around
I’d trip over furniture and end up on the ground
I was so depressed because I couldn't see
Unable to do things that really mattered to me.

I used to read to the kids and make their tea
But now I was  just a burden on my family
I'd dreamt of one day walking my girls down the aisle
To see their happiness and make their mom smile.

Other family members supported me too
Performing tasks that I’d normally do
They wanted to help because they all cared
And I’d just sit there isolated and scared

I got called two weeks later my results had came through
The consultant explained “there’s nothing we can do
A build up of pressure caused your retina's to tear
You've suffered major damage that we can't repair".

My wife took me to a blind group and there I met Jed
And he shocked me to the core with what he next said
"It's happened; get over it there's others like you
You’re dragging down your family and yourself too".

“It's happened, you’re lucky so late in your life
I've never seen my kid’s faces or that of my wife"
In the abyss of despair was a faint spark of light 
Reluctantly I realised that maybe Jed was right.

He told me of his struggles; how he managed to cope
For the first time in ten months he gave me some hope
I had not accepted what had happened to me
Realised I was lashing out at those close to me.

My wife took me to classes and I learned to read Braille
And stayed the whole time to make sure I didn't fail
My confidence grew stronger, I was accepting my fate
And thanked God I'd met Jed before it was too late.

Some things I do miss like all the sports on TV
But my wife is an angel and she explains it to me
I've made lots of new friends; I've got a guide dog too
And I sincerely hope it never happens to you.



Written on 21st January 2018
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