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I got home quite late from working one night
My eyes felt quite painful, they didn't feel right
I said to my wife “My eyes feel very strange" 
She said, “It's just eyestrain or even your age"

We laughed about that because I was only forty-four
I’d get seen tomorrow after we've been to the store
I looked in on my two daughters, and then went to bed
My eyes were stinging badly and all I could see was red.

The next morning, I woke up and lay there in fright
And I couldn't tell if it was morning, noon, or night
I knew I was awake, but everything was blurry
And prayed to God that this was only temporary.

My wife took me to hospital for answers to find
Three x- rays showed that I'd gone totally blind 
The eye consultant said "More tests we will do
When we get the results back, we'll send for you".

"At this stage I don't want to give you any false hope
But of course, in the meantime we'll help you to cope"
The reality of those words hit me, I just wanted to die
My wife was in total shock, and she started to cry.

I was in a real dark place and wanted to end my life
But all I could think of was my two kids and my wife.
Daily tasks were a nightmare I struggled to even shave
And all I wanted to do was to just lie in my grave.

Home was a struggle; I couldn't find my way around
I’d trip over furniture and end up on the ground
I was getting very depressed because I couldn't see
Unable to do the things that really mattered to me.

I used to read stories to my kids and make their tea
But now I just felt that I was a burden on my family
I'd dreamt of one day walking my girls down the aisle
To see their happiness and to make their mom smile.

Other family members and friends supported me too
Performing those daily tasks that I would normally do
They only wanted to help me because they all cared
I’d just sit there feeling depressed, isolated, and scared.

I got called two weeks later my results had come through
The consultant explained “There's nothing we can do
A build-up of pressure has caused your retinas to tear
You've suffered major damage that we cannot repair".

My wife took me to a blind group and there I met Jed
And he shocked me to the core with what he next said
"It's happened; get over it there's many others like you
You’re dragging down your family and yourself too".

“It's happened, and you’re lucky so late in your life
I've never seen my kid’s faces or that of my wife"
In the abyss of despair there was a faint spark of light
Reluctantly I realised that maybe what he said was right.

He told me of his struggles; how he managed to cope
For the first time in ten months, he gave me some hope
I hadn't really accepted what had happened to me
And I Realised I was lashing out at those close to me.

My wife took me to classes, and I learned to read Braille
And she stayed the whole time to make sure I didn't fail
My confidence grew stronger, I was accepting my fate
And I thanked God I'd met Jed before it was too late.

There are some things I do miss like the sports on TV
But my wife is an angel, and she explains things to me
I've made lots of new friends; I've got a guide dog too
And I sincerely hope it never happens to you.





Written on 21st January 2018
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