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If, as hippy folklore claims, it never rains in California, Then the watermark is never washed out of the phoney cheque, And when you’re dead and gone there’ll be no one here to mourn ya For it was only God above urinating down your neck. Carbon monoxide inhalation, it’s said, is pretty good for you, So quit that forty a day habit, baby, move it with the flow; Auto-suicide will wend its merry way and turn you blue, So wrap your ruby red ones ‘round a tail pipe instead and blow. Handprints down at Graumans, stoned celebrity status crested Of the celluloid long-dead and the many who are soon to be; My shopping list wants tummy-tucked, liposuction-sculpted, silicon breasted Platinum blonde-haired bimbos who are certified free of H.I.V. The boardwalk stretches like a sunshine catwalk by the sand and sea, That roller babe looks good enough to eat, this must be heaven, A junk food, high-cal sex blitz, glitzy steam hammer driven reality, Her brain and heart aged sixty, yet her body twenty-seven. Hang loose, chill out in air-conditioned stretch limo deep freezers, It sure ain’t safe to mosey around alone, so don’t take chances; And the infrared sun might fry your cheek to cancer and bejeezus, Tough to keep your tongue in it, then, under the circumstances. At night the stars reveal themselves, yet don’t look to the skies, Dead super novas are never seen through pollution and stagnation, Diaz, Hanks, Di-Caprio hold heaven’s wonder in cash cow eyes, Down here that just about outshines every thing in God’s creation. Multinational, mega-corporate, Hollywood moguls kick sorry ass, Bedroom or boardroom these bondage freaks wield Olympian power, Snorting lines of purest coke, feeding teenage pussy a champagne glass, A minute on the screen, her life destroyed within an hour. Gordon Gecko got it wrong, for greed is far from good you see, Ray Chandler’s quip about this place a compliment and a half - You know, the one where he gave this town a paper-cup personality - Still you’ve gotta laugh, don’t you? Well, don’t you gotta laugh…?
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