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So long now, drifting ... stumbling in dark nightmarish puddles of ire

   This numb, walking-zombie existence, in-and-out of Hell like a spinning door



All for the sake of a misguided decision ... and the freedom from pain

   A euphoric hunger, first ... complexities and pressures (falsely) gone



Thereafter traded for an ache and sickness and anxiety beyond comprehension

   THIRTY years now ... far longer than most, (I shouldn't be here, that's given)



Heart stopping thrice, thanks to the poison that courses my marrow, cold

   The infernal poison I would now die without (damned if you don't)



But I am claiming my life back, TEARING it up from its twisted, mephitic roots

   Fighting like I never have ... twelve YEARS battling this monkey monster!



Oh, he still laughs ... mocks ... spits truth in my face by each and every hour

   But I am CLOSE, I know it, see it, every day just a BIT nearer ... baby steps



I will slay this vile beast and lay the forsaken thing to rest ... in COLD ground ...

   And I will welcome the newborn, breathing, FEELING me ... to LIFE!

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