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To Santa, from frosted lips to your ears Forgive my tree, stick with limbs held with gum Understand I haven't written in years Been married to my filled bottles of rum I've forgotten all the names of your deer And can't remember when I've seen your sled They claim you live in the Northern Frontier Some people say you may even be dead In case you aren't, I have sent this letter Hope you are alive and get it in time So you can make my Christmas better And I don't have a chimney to climb The day is not far and your gifts I need Present of bottled rum, thirst I concede Present of bottled rum, thirst I concede To drink with my neighbor in the moonlight I stole her lawnmower, lies to mislead And took all her tools to sell them outright Forgive me Santa, as I have no yard And sold all her stuff at the corner bar Plead the fifth if you ask about her card I wanted to buy a six string guitar I've confessed, so put my name on your list I'm a thief and liar, to you I write And ask for presents, of which I insist My gift of rum on your long Christmas flight Fly Santa fly, with your brilliant red sleigh To share all your presents on Christmas day To share all your presents on Christmas day Brings joy to children, new toys to have fun Leave gifts beneath their trees, so they can play Forget about all the things that I've done The dreams of the youngest are the most pure As they leave cookies and milk in candlelight They believe in you, your presents for sure Their Christmas morning is filled with delight Leave my rum on the floor, next to the door Have a drink if you want because it's free A good cheer to all the deer you adore And share your gifts with kids to bring them glee So allow them to sleep without any fears To Santa, from frosted lips to your ears
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