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He has pedophile tendacies — 
short eyes that look long
at young girls, 
who ain’t nothing but babies
Lusting for February-November relations
that ought not be ... 
if nothing but for the sake of decency
You see his kind from time to time,
lurking at malls ... 
around high schools, 
and teenage dance halls
When he’s feeling frisky,
he loves to rub 
his little pistol publicly
Wearing his cowboy hat,
looking like Toy Store Woody
Seeing him acting twitchy, roaming on the twerk,
gives you a creepy sensation
And you ask yourself,
as daddy’s big girl walks ahead of you,
what rock did this worm crawl from under?
Noticing Woody 
in his closed raincoat,
and his hands you can’t see ...
You ask yourself again,
would he?
As Woody approaches too uncomfortably close
to your thirteen-year-old daughter, you answer yourself:
Yes, he would!
Woody has deviant proclivities — 
short eyes that climb tall, 
over girl’s gym bathroom stalls
Old goat, young ewe conversation
is what turns him on
Ew!
His thoughts always lass gender 
towards doing that which is morally wrong
Woody loves to rub his little pistol
with exhibitionistic glee
Having raincoat open, 
he gives his tiny pistol a squeeze
Old ladies say to themselves,
how dare he!
Young women say to themselves,
that guy is so nasty!
Mall police tells everyone there:
We caught that cowpoke perp 
with his hands in his pants deep 
Pervert amber alert:
They lass-oed Toy Store Woody!

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