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Personal Note:
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Poem
I feel yet I don't feel
I crave  but I don't crave
I desire yet I don't desire
I know but I don't know
I am getting ready to start the show
But there are too many blood suckers
running around watching my door
I didn't sleep all night I had to put up a spiritual fight
The devil rise up at midnight feeding the dead
and spilling stinking smell everywhere
I sat in the chair thinking
And I could feel my heart beating
and my Spirit weeping
I desperately want to go away from here
but my pocket is empty and bear
I have so much to share
But there is too much meanness everywhere
draining my Spiritual energy making me feel unhappy
I have put up with this for so long
Its time to sing a new song
My heart is longing to go there
 but it is thousand of miles from here
I ventured  out door and see a big white man
in a big white truck driving around the curb
and looking at my door I thought he was coming to this house
so I went under the tree to admire the falling leaves
The tall white man got out of his truck
it appeared as if he was stuck
He inquired about the  address 
But there was no Alex or Alexandria  living here
The person he was looking for perhaps resides on the other side
I went in my truck and drove up the street
Then grab my bicycle and speed downed the road
It was  a strange afternoon
with leaves blowing around the street
anxiety cruised aimlessly around
and I am getting ready to enter a new phase
As I entered the path leading to the park 
the phrase "stagnant water speaks out"
I continued  along the track
and the  line spoken by Michelangelo
in the film Agony and the Ecstasy bellows
"If the wine is sour throw it out"
I finally  reached my favorite spot
and climbed on top of the seated rock
and found a comfortable spot to kneel and pray
I felt something strong and it was the power of the holy one
I could not contain the welled up tears
that had me bound over the years
My tears flow on the rock and trickle down the flowing stream
giving way to my heart felt dream
thus treating me with kindness.
Everything was  awfully quiet 
And the screaming bird that antagonized all Summer was murdered
and its carcass was thrown at the foot of the tree underneath my window
The ants mutilated its body and dragged it  bit by bit  into the cemetery
The naked trees catapulted in air saluting the maker on high
Anxiety mounts and the diamond is stuck into my  sordid throat
I stood on  top of the rock and look deeply inside the sun
and tried desperately around to end  this final chapter
Everything  around me was so grey I had to look the other way
Dry bushes scattered around and the grass beaten to the ground
I saw profound changes as  nature dance merrily in the street
and  takes  it course throughout the ages
I wish if I knew what it was about
It took some time to figure it out
And just when  I was about to doubt 
a bright light shone over the stream
Pulling me off the rock and forced me to take stock
I crossed the stream and went on the other side 
with the holy bible by my side 
Three white flowery trees  stood among the dry trees
presented  something hopeful to me
There they were standing proudly
All three stood side by side deeply rooted in the ground
and supporting each other with intense energy 
Two short trees waving their hands and  the taller tree
protecting the shorter ones
This symbolism was so strong
So I blessed them with my spiritual hands
And in due time they will all conquer the land.
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