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Poem

Sitting in a bar
In a pensive state
Watching the sun set
And the nightly madness begins
 
As I drink
My dismal, damned draft
Dram of drunken dream desire
 
I am drawn to memories
Perhaps best left dead
And buried deep inside
My head
 
Try as I might
The memories come back
To burden and haunt me
And drive me to drink
To seek forgiveness
And solace for a moment
 
The memories
Of all the women
I have lusted for
And all the women
I have loved in vain
 
And the memories
Flood my soul
And I can’t let go
No I cannot do so
 
So I won’t forget
And I can’t forgive myself
Either
 
For having feelings
For other women
And so it goes
And I sit and drink
And dream of what might
Have been
 
Nothing satisfies me
And I am not satisfied
With what I have
 
Only wanting what I want
And so I sit
And cry in my beer
 
Yet another
Alcoholic pathetic
Middle age loser man
 
Bemoaning his lost youth
As her surveys the room
Checking out the young ladies
Young enough to be his daughter
Or his granddaughter
 
And the beer does not lie
It does not lie
It sits there
 
And stares back at him
Giving no answers
To his probing questions
 
And so I drink
To forget
But I can’t forget
 
And the beer does not console
Anymore
And grows cold
As the night wears on
 
So I sit
Think and wonder
And I have another
And watch my thoughts
Dance across the evening sky

 published Scarlet Leaf review

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