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I have no one I can turn to when I need help most. I have no one I can depend on, east or west coast, but I can always lean on supportive comments left at my posts, and depend on regular visits from one or more of my ghosts, or rather, hallucinations of lost loved ones I loved the most. The general reaction, whenever I share this with anyone, is, "You're seriously sick. You need professional help my friend, electro shock treatment, or at the very least medication." or, "Those are their true spirits, and they are all reaching out to you, doing their best trying to be comforting." I call them for what they really are, Hallucinations. Hallucinations that I have created for my protection. It often begins, with me just thinking about them. Long lost memories of them begin surfacing, and then the next thing I know, I'm hanging out with them, in my home, outdoors, wherever I am, and believing it's all real while it is all happening, but much like one asleep, who then realizes they are dreaming, reality rears its ugly head and I start thinking, "Wait,.. this isn't real, this can't be happening," and then when I look back, where my lost loved ones stood or sat, all are gone, all lost, none are where they're supposed to be at, until their next visit, when we continue to laugh, love and chat. I don't need professional help or spiritual counseling. All I need is me, my hallucinations and the occasional rare true friend.
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