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To My Dearest Daughter, Sommer ...

When I was growing up love seemed a very elusive and capricious thing, and I spent more time just trying to understand it than I did actually looking for it, (as it seemed to follow me around when I was vibrant and youthful and attractive).

And every-so-often I'd hear a parent talk about a "love greater than themselves", and while most of what adults said when I was a teenager went in one ear and out the other, there was something very powerful about that thought, and something that felt quite beyond my capacity ...

I wasn't in a hurry to be a daddy, and it honestly scared the hell out of me, because I was not remotely in a place where I was ready to be through having fun, (and I believed it meant giving everything else up for the drudgery of marriage and parenting).

So I remember very clearly driving to the hospital after you were born, and the mixed emotions I felt at the thoughts of all that your entrance into this world entailed. But when you were placed in my arms, and you looked up into my eyes for the first time, I was speechless ...

Tears ran down my face for an emotion that I had never felt before, a reason that I had always felt beyond my abilities. Here for the first time was something that meant more than the sum total of every event and accomplishment and experience that had come before -

A love so overwhelmingly larger than anything I had ever felt or expected to feel, and a human being more beautiful and precious than life itself. No one will ever accuse me of being Father-of-the-Year, (or anything close) ...

I've made more mistakes than most three other people, but I pray that, if nothing else, you have always known how much I love you despite my failings, and if not, that you do now. YOU gave me a reason for living that I never dreamed I would possess ...

And YOU gave me an appreciation for life and love and wonder that a fool like me never deserved. You are so much better than I am, Sommer, and I am so incredibly proud of the amazing woman, person, and mother that you have become ...

A year ago this summer I FINALLY got to hold you again, and I hugged you with all my strength, and tears ran down my face again, and I looked into those same eyes that brought me so much happiness over the years, and we connected again like we did that very first day ...

In that unspeakable way, and all the mistakes and misunderstandings and time apart melted away, (like I KNEW they would) ... I pray you felt again just how much you have ALWAYS meant to my life, and how proud I am to call you my daughter ...

And I pray you know how thankful I am that you came into my life all those years ago, and taught me what TRUE beauty is, and how to love with my WHOLE heart. I adore you, Honey ... I hope you have the best birthday you've ever had, and many more to come ...

And I hope we have many more good times together in the future, cuz our time last summer just left me wanting SO much more! You will always be my baby girl, my joy, and my worth ... I love you and miss you SO much!

Have the Happiest Birthday ever, Honey!
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