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Feeling like a particle of dust in the expanse of existence
I keep trying to find myself
Hoping, when I would do so,
That I would find the anchor that I need
To feel at home while being myself!

I searched for myself in the faces of people that I met
And was only met with pretense
People pretend to wish to smile
People pretend to care
People pretend to be happy
People and their pretentions, I decided
Is not about being me!

I searched for myself in the behavior of people towards me
And was only met with selfishness
People aim only to satisfy their ego
Ready to harm me and break me
Without any sense of pity towards the mess that I am
People and their cruelty, I decided
Is not about being me!

I searched for myself in the feelings of people towards me
And was only met with indifference
People care only to please themselves
People care not about pure intentions
About naïve temperaments and certainly not
About being an orthodox romantic living in a fast world
People and their feelings, I decided
Is not about being me!

I searched for myself in my own deep self
Am I the words that emanate from me
Am I the songs I listen to
Am I the clothes that I wear
Am I the actions of time over my body
Am I the purpose I have set for myself in life
Am I the choices that I make in life
Am I the facets that I show to the world
Or those which I hide, deep in closets?

Pray, after searching the within and without,
I decided that my essence remains unknowable
I am not that which I believe I am
I am not that which the world deems me to be
I am mystery and shall have to keep on searching
To be able to get to know me!

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